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FSU star will not be in NFL draft this year because a) He's got more drugs than Eli Lilly, b) he was shot and paralyzed outside a strip club or c) because he's going to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship

Crabtree entering NFL draft. Spanky, Alfalfa heartbroken

Sale of the EPL's Newcastle United for $300M to an unnamed "wealthy American" falls through immediately after Mets owner (and MLS owner-wannabe) Fred Wilpon lost $300M in Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme

Retired skating hottie Katarina Witt visits Vancouver to film 2010 Olympics preview for German TV. Even when fully clothed, she looks better than Tonya

Dolphins, Jets and Bills sigh relief, Pioli headed to the Chiefs. Suck it Pats

Goalie fighting Goalie, benches clear and coaches fighting. Just a normal day in Shreveport

In a sure sign of the impending apocalypse, Shaq suddenly making free throws - including his last 12 in a row

This year's Pittsburgh Penguins are last years Ottawa Senators

NY Giants fans take out football frustrations on Porsche, SUV (with video goodness)

Florida Marlins sign outfielder who hasn't played since he was outed as a steroid user more than a year ago

Chargers CB Cromartie played the entire season with a broken hip

Braves reach a four year lowe

Kerry Collins wants to remain a starter with the Titans, and if not, he'll retire to his farm to play touch football with Brett Favre

Ben Roethlisberger didn't just suffer a concussion against the Browns, he suffered a spinal cord concussion and couldn't feel team doctors sticking a pin in his arm

Penske will use will power to get past Castroneves trial. He will also use Will Power

US Marshalls apparently feel the best use of their resources is motorcades to major sporting events and moonlighting as statisticians for Fox Sports

If you think "Drifting" looks impresive from outside the car, get a load of what it looks like from befind the wheel

Knicks player slapped with sex suit after former driver alleges he was slapped around a bit, but in a sexy way

Tebow has surgery, performed it himself without anesthesia and is expected to recover in 3-4 minutes

The Mets are trying new and exciting ways to disappoint their fans

Cristano Ronaldo named World Player of the Year - hopefully someone else drove him to the award ceremony

Jackie Joyner-Kersee accused of paying husband $450 per hour to work for her failing charitable foundation. She also owes $450,000 in back taxes and husband has warrant for passing a bad check

Even world snooker champion complains that game is unbelievably boring unless you're drinking as much as the players

A soccer player learns that mocking fans by imitating a plane crash that killed eight of their players might get under their skin, but it also might get you in trouble

In an effort to know what its like to win something, New York Mets farm team to become the Baracklyn Cyclones. How Bush league

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Gilbert Arenas: Very, Very Unhappy

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Ducks Win In Double OT

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