LATEST STORIES FROM FARK.COM

Tarvaris Jackson still thinks he can be Vikings franchise quaterback, Surely Ole' Brett Favre will retire after this year

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PETA wants UGA VIII to be an animatronic bulldog

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Houston Texans announce that LB Brian Cushing's Twitter account is a fake even though it references his official web page which includes the exact same Twitter feed

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Take a tour of Target Field, Minnesota Twins' new stadium. Amenities include consession stands with walleye on a stick

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Latest threat to disrupt 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Gangs of marauding monkeys that will carjack vistors at stop signs (pic)

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News: Ottawa Senators starting goalie Pascal Leclaire out for a month after breaking his cheekbone. Fark: He was injured while sitting on the bench

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Good: New Jersey Nets close in on NBA record. Bad: It's the record for most consecutive losses to start a season

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Polite headline: "Michigan, Notre Dame must re-evaluate their places in football." Translation: "They need to get over themselves already because everybody else has"

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From the Amazing High School Football Plays file: Punt returned for 33 yards covers about a football field and a half in real time

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New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin had a stalker. A male stalker. A retarded male stalker. No, the stalker wasn't Eli Manning

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2 Michigan State football players dismissed from team. Only 18 more to go, Dan Antonio

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Roethlisberger okayed to get concussion on Saturday

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Abe has died in Washington DC. This is not a repeat from 1865

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Mets to honor 1969 World Series team with uniform redesign. To honor the team's recent performances, each uniform features a noose that will be activated once August rolls around

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Brady Quinn is dating Olympic gymnast Alicia Sacramone. With pics of what 21-year-old gymnasts may look like. In unrelated news, submitter has never been so jealous of a relatively ineffective QB in his life

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Oakland's ranking remains unchanged after defeating Cincinnati in this week's NFL Power Rankings

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In what is probably the most obvious and unsuprising award selection of the year, Albert Pujols overcomes adversity of having a really funny-sounding last name to win his 2nd consecutive National League MVP award

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Buffalo Bills contact Bill Cowher to see how interested he would be in becoming their head coach. The answer is "not very"

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Barca. Bayern Munich. Liverpool. 12 European Championships between them, and all facing elimination. It's your Champions League Matchday 5 thread

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Most teams win when they outshoot the opponent by 40. Then again, most teams aren't the Toronto Maple Leafs

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Report: 20 Michigan State football players in ski masks 'stormed' MSU dorm in bloody attack, injuring seven - including women

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Here's a tip: If your offensive coordinator sucks and your defensive coordinator sucks, maybe the problem is bigger than just the play calling

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The Minnesota Timberwolves won their first game of the season. Thirteen games later, that is still their only win

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Corner kicks in soccer are always more exciting when the crowd is within beer-throwing distance of the corner

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Do you smell what Laraque is cookin?

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