LATEST STORIES FROM FINS NATION
Calvin Pace Has Got It All Figured Out
Some of you might have heard that illegal performance-enhancement taker Jets linebacker Calvin Pace, in typical New York Jets fashion, instead of accepting defeat at the hands of a better team, decided to whine and bitch and make excuses for the complete and utter reaming he and his shitmates were handed them by the Miami Dolphins on Monday night. Pace called the Wildcat "nonsense...
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October 14, 2009
Discuss
January Jones Would Like to Close Out Your Victory Tuesday
From this month's GQ cover story, Mad Men's January Jones. The Dude and I agreed that she's one of the most beautiful girls maybe ******* ever and I'm pretty sure she single-handedly started this whole Blonde Phase I've been going through since early this year. If you read the interview, she loves beer, gets drunk, loves football, was a stoner in high school...
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October 13, 2009
Monday Night F-cktown
Well, that was ******* awesome.It was the one game circled on the schedule after that
roasted pig and mayonnaise inhaling **** of a coach starting spewing **** about
Channing Crowder from his horse **** sucking mouth. The one game those ***** in
New York had circled ever since we handed them their own asses IN New York last
December for the AFC East championship. It was a battle...
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October 13, 2009
Zombie Goth Jets Fan Begs Satan for One More Pass Interference Call
Evil Satan. Overloard of Darkness. Please grant my team another phoney and clearly political pass interference call so that my dreamy, rookie QB can have all of America sucking on his 1" **** like I have feasted on your Dark Pistil, my dear Satan. Please my Lord. I will drink your everlasting black and frothing minion seed for eternity. It gives me great pleasure to taste...
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October 13, 2009
The Robot Chad Henne Would Like To Cordially Invite Any And All Jets Fans Who Have Trolled This Here Site ...
....to suck a big giant back of dicks.
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October 12, 2009
Keys To The Game - Jets @ Dolphins
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!
Is it 8:30 yet? Is it time? I'M READY TO KILL SOME *************!!!
I want to get out of work. I want to put my orange jersey on. I want to pace around the room with my hands on my head in eager anticipation. I want to run out of my apartment and punch every single Jets fan I see right in their ******* no good, retarded faces. I want...
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October 12, 2009
It's On Motherf-ckers!
Tonight's the night.My friends want to watch the game with me, but I warned them that this would not be a good idea. In fact, it would be best if everyone just avoided me all day and night until the carnage is over and finished with. I'm liable to do anything. Throw **** at the television? Oh **** yea. Yell expletives at players and coaches alike? Absofuckinglutely. Repeatedly...
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October 12, 2009
Weekender: Appreciating the Interwebs Edition
This week's Weekender girl comes courtesy of DRK, who has introduced me to the wonders of Sofia Vergara and her spectacular ass. She's a Colombian model/actress and has starred in such movies as yada yada yada LOOK AT HER ASS!!I seriously want to pitch a tent and live in Sofia Vergara's ass. Here's more. And here, here, here and here. She started her career as a TV...
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October 09, 2009
Brian Hartline Will Beat Your IQ Score, Then Beat Your Ass
There's a reason rookie wide out Brian Hartline has stepped up so fast since being drafted in the fourth round of last April's draft. Namely, because he's balls smart.Hartline, who scored his first touchdown last Sunday against the Bills, has already learned all three of the team's receiver spots, and can play them all effectively according to Sparano.Despite Hartline...
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October 09, 2009
Porter, Ayodele and Merling Back at Practice
Definite good news in DolphinsLand from the all-important (from an injury standpoint) Thursday practice report. Mike Berardino (who's starting to get his Dolphins sea legs at this point in the season and is developing his own voice within the Sentinel lineup) reports that Merling, Porter and Ayodele were all back at practice today going through various drills and whatnot during...
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October 08, 2009
Let Em Gorge While We Build This Sh-t Right
So the big news of the day is that the Jets got Braylon Edwards from the Browns. Like most of you, my very first reaction to this news was "mahhshit!" But I am a man of passionate knee-jerky dispositions that way. So I settled myself, poured myself a glass of J&B to take the edge off, dressed up in my Don Draper Halloween costume, and calmed the **** down.Dave Hyde...
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October 07, 2009
Orange Crush to Smack Stinkin' Jets in the Face
As has been widely circulated, our boys will be once again rockin' the orange unis come Monday night's slugfest against those piece of ****, fucktard assholes from New Jersey. We're 2-0 in these babies - having beaten both Washington in 2003 (aaaah, season ticket year....how I miss thee) and those New England faggots in 2004. The last time was particularly memorable...
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October 06, 2009
Say Yes To VD!
Thanks to his titstacular pick-six on Sunday, Vontae Davis is up for this week's The Pepsi Rookie of the Week Award. And he's counting on your votes so he can beat out the other clearly inferior rookies he's up against. I guess the NFL had to fill up the poll. Know who else is up for a weekly award? Why the same guy who seems to be up for weekly awards every week, even...
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October 06, 2009
Cameron Wake Is Lord Humungus
He is The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!He is Cameron Wake.We were all dying to see this guy get some real PT. But Tony Sparano said Wake needed to work on his special teams play and, probably more important, his run defense before he could crack some real playing time on defense. But Joey Porter's hamstring wanted to see Cameron out there just as...
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October 06, 2009
Chad Henne Will Conquer All of Humanity One Touchdown At A Time
It was both Chad Henne's and Brian Hartline's first-career touchdowns. Hartline reportedly kept the ball. Either way, it doesn't matter. Because something tells me that this won't be the last time these two hook up in the endzone. I love the way Henne just runs up to Hartline, head-butts him, turns around and runs right back to the sideline. No overt idiotic celebration...
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October 06, 2009
Big D-ckapalooza
That's what that was. Because we got the biggest, and we swing it the hardest.**** and yes.This is the way Sundays should feel like, fucknabbit! A thorough beatdown of Biblical proportions against a divisional foe. Jason Taylor being all Jason Taylory. Black Thunder obliterating defensive linemen and linebackers at a whim. Receivers actually catching passes. And both the defense...
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October 05, 2009
Weekender: Save Some For Us, Alessandra Edition
The President and the US Olympic committee did all they could to bring the 2016 Olympic games to Chicago. But, in the end, they went with Rio De Janeiro. And in all honesty, what are you gonna do when you have a secret weapon like Weekender girl Alessandra Ambrósio? Look at her for shitsake! Look. At. Her. It's no contest. The President could have literally promised each of...
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October 02, 2009
Keys To The Game: Bills at Dolphins
Here's all we need to know about the Bills coming into this week: They're 1-2, Terrell Owens is all pissed off because of a slow start to his season and because of the Douche-Off he had with Rodney Harrison over the week. Buffalo gained only 243 total yards last week against New Orleans. And their offensive line is depleted.So, the time is ripe for a win?You'd think so...
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October 02, 2009
The Age of The Robot Is Upon Us!
Well. This is it. The Robot era has arrived.A lot of us expected this to happen Opening Week of 2010 instead of Week 4 of the 2009 season. But keep in mind that Chad Pennington is made mostly of glass and hay, and that it would've been a miracle had he survived the entire season intact. So, ready or not, the Chad Henne chapter opens. Chad Henne will officially become the 13th starting...
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October 02, 2009
Before You Go All French Revolution On Us...
....a nice little FN afternoon link dump should hold you over while The Dude fights his computer to the death and I continue to busily do whatever it is I do all day:
Omar has a great blog post about 'Teddy', Porter and Thursdays with Henning. Allow me to parse? I think Ginn has a good opportunity to make some plays at home against a decimated Buffalo defense. If there...
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October 01, 2009
Adriana Lima & Her T-ts....
...would us all to take a deep breath, relax, take it easy, and maybe not think or talk about the Dolphins for a while. Sure, you're free to do so here in the comments. And Adriana's tits would never tell you what to do. But I don't think it's wise to ignore them. They are wise as they are delightful. Like Chinese fortune cookies. Except, you know, they don't...
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September 30, 2009
Um, Ok
Looks like Bill Parcells put a phone call in to his son-in-law and got himself a quarterback. The Dolphins landed Kansas City Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen for an undisclosed draft pick. I don't know why, but I sort of like this pickup. Oh, not in a "Oh the rest of the NFL is ****** now!" kind of way. But still. Thigpen is 25, started 11 games last year and can sling the...
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September 29, 2009
A Tribute Of Thanks To Captain Balls
It was fate that brought Chad Pennington and the Miami Dolphins together. During the off-season, the New York Jets waived Pennington after four solid seasons with the team, casting him aside like an old tire to make room for newly acquired Brett Favre. Yet when the Dolphins signed Pennington off waivers, the immediate reaction from most Fins fans was exasperation. Pennington entered...
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September 29, 2009
FN, and Elin Grindemyr, Is Here To Help
We like to think we provide a service here at FN. Never was this more apparent to me than when I visited the stats page and discovered that someone had found us by Googling "dolphins suck ****" yesterday. Think about that. Before yesterday, this poor, forlorn, rudderless soul wandered the earth not knowing where to turn to go and vent his utter and seemingly endless frustration...
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September 29, 2009
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