LATEST STORIES FROM FIVE TOOL TOOL

Eagles - Steelers Preseason Takeaways: Ah, Reassuarance

So tonight was the all-important third week of NFL preseason, the one where the starters get more snaps and pretend to care the mostest. It was also the first time this year that the Eagles played watchable football. And if they only played against another team that cared, something meaningful might have been learned!And with that, on to the takeaways...> QB Nick Foles looked...
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1 day ago  |  Discuss

Mike Carey and the Tipping Point

Good CallSo the news today is the simple and profound revelation that Mike Carey, one of the NFL's most prominent referees and the first African-American to lead a crew at the Super Bowl, declined to officiate the Washington franchise's games since 2006 because of his refusal to be part of their derogatory name.Carey took his stance privately, and was only outed through an...
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2 days ago  |  Discuss

Top 12 reasons why the NFL is making the Super Bowl halftime show pay to play

What Bats SaysNo, seriously.12) Roger Goodell needs a raise11) Massive class-action lawsuits from generations of brain-damaged ex-employees don't just pay themselves10) Sets the important first step of precedent towards getting Paul Allen the opportunity to engage in a full-on Jimi Hendrix wank9) The gig really is so flush with credibility, paying for it doesn't hurt an artist...
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3 days ago  |  Discuss

The Raiders Are Just Trolling People Now, Right?

I'm a QB of wealth and tasteYou are looking live at an actual promotional piece for the Oakland Raiders, in their attempt to, um, sell season tickets.No, seriously.Matt Freaking Schaub.The man whose surname became a synonymous verb for throwing a pick six.A guy who was pretty much run out on a rail from Houston, a franchise where he was the best QB in franchise history, in that...
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4 days ago  |  Discuss

Nothing Soothes Racial Tensions Like Free Tickets To Fake Football

Ready For Some Football?Unless you've been under a rock for a good line while, you've seen the military police level horror of what's been going on in Ferguson, MO. Before I get into the weeds of who's at fault for the execution of an unarmed black kod, or the long history of similar actions, or how a police department gets to be so overwhelmingly opposite of the...
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4 days ago  |  Discuss

FTT Off-Topic: The Running Monologue

Or AthleticAs mentioned before, I run, because not running is worse.One hundred miles a month, every month, 7 for 7 so far this year, after 90 miles a month last year. Last year's miles were easier, because they had cheating aspects (I'd hang on the treadmill and try to sprint through things, and also count walking). This year has been a grind. I'm not actually very good...
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5 days ago  |  Discuss

FTT Off-Topic: The Oddfest Comedy Tour comes to... Camden?

The LineupNot sports, not an issue. Right?Tonight, I took the Shooter Wife to see the Oddball tour stop in Camden, the ex-murder capital of America, and the just over the river arena / fairground that can accommodate about 7,000 people under the roof, and another 15K on the lawn. Oddball is a comedy festival where you get about three hours of bang for your buck, with a rotating crop...
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6 days ago  |  Discuss

The End Of Football

Buh ByeSo I try, honestly I do try, not to pay too much attention to preseason football. It's almost always a weak indicator when it comes to regular season work, and much of what you see isn't of real concern. Over-reacting to fake football leads a man to sports talk radio, and that's a slippery slope to mouth breahing, lunkheadness and a truly crippling lack of personal...
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7 days ago  |  Discuss

Some pun about how to pronounce a tween girls' name goes here

Pitch Like PedroToday at the Little League World Series, Philadelphia's Mo'Ne Davis threw a 2-hit shutout, walking none, striking out eight, while being female. The video is nice, and not just because she's got some heat and movement, but also because she just plain looks like a pitcher. This, of course gets all kinds of sports media attention because it's novel and...
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7 days ago  |  Discuss

A Brief And Obvious Point About Rob Manfred Becoming MLB's New Commish

Hangs Out With UndesirablesManfred could, honestly, re-enact scenes from "Game of Thrones" in his office, on camera, without special effects.He could make the National League adopt the Designated Hitter while abolishing it in the American.He could make pointless international circus games more prevalent and mid-week, in a bid to torture test players into seeing what baseball...
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8 days ago  |  Discuss

Russell Wilson Has Issues

One of these men need to be sackedFile this under the heading of "No One Should Ever Like Anyone, Or Try To Help..."Seattle QB Russell Wilson has an off-season charity where he goes out on a big limb to try to alleviate the problem of childhood hunger. Pretty safe cause, right? One you should be able to pitch on any channel without getting dragged into snark and stupidity...
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9 days ago  |  Discuss

FTT Off-Topic: Beaker Has Edge

One perfect minute that you can't front on. Enjoy.
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9 days ago  |  Discuss

Pass Any Interference

Learn To Love ThisI'm making the usual annual mistake of watching pre-season football, folks, and it's really not encouraging. Forget the meaningless of the games, the specter of injury, or the awfulness of the actual telecasts; the real problem is the way the games are being called.When you watched NFL football in 2013, did you ever think these thoughts:1) There just wasn...
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10 days ago  |  Discuss

FTT Off-Topic: August Is the Cruelest Month

What Is It Good ForNot sports, not sorry, read or don't. This is going to get random.You can pretty much tell the age of your peer group not by whether they are posting about Robin Williams in your social feed, but what Robin Williams project is mentioned. Friends of mine are going with "Mork and Mindy", because that defined their childhood. Others are adding "...
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11 days ago  |  Discuss

Top 10 Takeaways From NFL Preseason Week One

I Just Broke The Internets10) This experiment with Very Long Extra Points required everyone to watch and think about kickers for more time than before, and as such, has to be considered a failure9) If the NFL is really serious about calling this many flags on this many plays, we can safely state that Roger Goodell Must Be Killed 8) If the NFL is really going to allow on-field advertising...
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12 days ago  |  Discuss

What People Are Missing About Kevin Love Coming To The Cavs

No, just business associatesLet's just call this for what it is: LeBron James is now the GM of the Cleveland Cavaliers. There is nothing all that wrong with this: it's kind of what happens in the NBA. But it's not exactly an optimal role for a player, since every player is going to go all-in on every hand, because, um, it's not like they've got a three to five...
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12 days ago  |  Discuss

A Brief And Obvious Point About Tony Stewart

Do Not ClickDriving into someone with any kind of intention is assault.Regardless of context. Assault that leads to injury is a criminal offense. And assault that leads to death is homicide.Regardless of context. People who appear to have committed homicide, whether or not they are famous, whether or not they are wealthy, whether or not they express remorse or have a good PR staff...
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12 days ago  |  Discuss

Top 10 things to love about the NFL preseason

Reason Number 11: No ConfettiThere was a time, honest and for true, where not watching fake football games in August wasn't only defensible, it was expected. I remember, as a child, getting flack and scorn from the Shooter Brother, who had no use at all for those games, and wouldn't even watch them if nothing else was on. When I grew up and had friends with season tickets...
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15 days ago  |  Discuss

Cary Williams Stands His Ground

The Truth, It Burns, It BurnsI'd like to talk tonight about the nature of being a pro athlete in the current time. Thanks to the Internet, you have direct access to the public, but you probably don't want that, since that's a two-way street and really time-consuming. You are surrounded by an increasingly irresponsible and click-baitish media. Your coach and organization...
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16 days ago  |  Discuss

Brief And Obvious Points That Dan Snyder Will Continue To Ignore

When you define what a racial term means for a group that you are not a member of, it will not, and can never, go well for you.No one gives a flying f*** at a rolling doughnut what you think it means.No one will have their opinion changed by the go-along stance of PR geishas or your cowed and corrupted partners. No one will remember you for anything beyond your willful ignorance...
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17 days ago  |  Discuss

That Paul George Moment

Life, ChangingBy now, I hope you've somehow missed the brutal leg injury that Pacers star Paul George suffered during the USMNT tryouts for the upcoming international championships. It's going to cost George and the Pacers at least a year of his NBA career, fundamentally changes the balance of power in the East to make things even easier on the Bulls and Cavs, and has seemingly...
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17 days ago  |  Discuss

Top 11 reasons why the Bengals signed Andy Dalton to a 6-year, $115 million deal

Oopsie11) It's an NFL contract, so anything but the signing bonus and the amount of his last paycheck is mostly theoretical10) Job security has done wonders to properly motivate Marvin Lewis to playoff success9) Team does not provide playoff game highlights to ownership8) He was underpaid for a really long time, so the team wanted to make sure everyone forgot about that with...
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18 days ago  |  Discuss

What Packer Fan Should Do To Brett Favre

All SmilesSo the news out of Title Little Town is that the Packers are getting around to retiring The Ol' Gunslinger's #4, and it's a little bit telling that my keyboard wanted to type a dollar sign there, since that's the shift on 4...And the worry, of course, is that Packer Fan will boo. As if Brett Favre gave them any reason to do that, what with the huge number...
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19 days ago  |  Discuss

Six Steps To An Ideal Fantasy Football League

Also, This Guy Isn't InIt's that time of year again: when you start the research and rankings and try to come to grips with the massive timesuck that is fantasy football. And with that on the radar, it got me to thinking what the ideal league might look like. Here goes...1) Match the entry fee to income. I play for money to make sure that a win feels worthwhile, and to make...
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20 days ago  |  Discuss

The Beane All-In Moment

Shove Shove ShoveSo my A's. Kind of making some news this month, no?A couple of weeks after pulling the trigger on a big deal with the Cubs to get upper-tier SP Jeff Samardzjia and the so-far wildly disappointing Jason Hammel, the team with the best record in baseball traded their best OF (Yoenis Cespedes, the Cuban emigre, Human Highlight Film and two-time Home Run Derby winner...
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22 days ago  |  Discuss
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