LATEST STORIES FROM FIVE TOOL TOOL
The Best
15 hours ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
News today is that Brian Westbrook will make a full recovery from his second concussion in three weeks, and while everyone is talking as if he'll return to the field (perhaps in time for a hoped-for playoff), I'm just happy to hear the man isn't looking at reduced capabilities...
NFL Week 11 Picks: Don't Drive Angry
2 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Like any long form piece of blogging, this column takes several days to write, and that time is not continuous. I don't get to lock myself away to the exclusion of all other pursuits and responsibilities. Whose fault is that? Yours, clearly. Had you merely told 1,000 of your closest...
NESW Drop: Enemies List Vol. 2
3 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Don't miss today's list over at NESW, folks. It required effort and everything!http://fivetooltool.blogspot.com - The Sports Blog That Loves You Back!
NFL Week 10: You Crap The Bed
4 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
In honor of Eagles coach Andy "Help, My Testicles Have Receded And I Can't Stop Kicking Field Goals" Reid, this week's episode of You Crap comes to you from Depends Adult Brand Diapers for men. If you've got a question about the use of this product, by all means...
Top 10 Week 10 NFL Ad Questions
4 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) In all of the demeaning and soul crushing jobs that Mike Rowe has performed on television, where does whoring for Ford rank?9) Should I really chose my financial services provider based on their support of has-been '70s pop stars?8) Why should the navigation issues of freaks...
Eagles - Chargers Notes
4 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> In all of the ways in which your team can lose a game, the least satisfying has to be when your coaching staff goes Maximum *****. Repeatedly in this game, with no evidence that the defense was going to be able to win a low-scoring game, the Eagles went for field goals instead...
Fierce, Girlfriend
8 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
A graphic designer takes on the "trouble" helmets of the NFL. I agree with the assessment of the Patriots new look being kind of lame, and dearly wish for the team to embrace the ethos of the 1970s "Wonder Woman" television show. Then, it will be more socially acceptable...
Week 10 NFL Picks: Going To The Enn Eff Hell
8 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Has it really been six hundred and sixty six years since the NFL Network launched? It's only seems that way, folks. So it's that special time of year, when the days are getting shorter and the economic worry is getting long, where you've got a freshly unwelcome race to...
NESW Drop: The Enemies List
10 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
I've started a new contract gig writing for Ethan and the gang over at NESW, and you should go check it out, really. Every week will be a fresh dose of hate, and really, that's not something I'm bad at. See who the lead enemy is this week...http://fivetooltool.blogspot...
Top 11 takeaways from the NFL's Veterans Day salute
10 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
11) It's OK to remember Pat Tillman, but if you forget about certain parts of the Pat Tillman story, the Army really won't mind10) While everyone in the NFL thanks the troops, star quarterbacks thank them most of all9) Troops in Afghanistan are so starved for entertainment...
Eagles-Cowboys Notes: The Ruling On The Field Of Life Stands. Walt Coleman Sucks
11 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> I hate night games involving my laundry. Any infuriating outcome will sit with you like bad late night diner food, and keep me up for hours. I'm not saying that I have nervous energy watching these games, but I did an astounding amount of busy work with my hands -- writing...
NFL Week 9: You Crap The Bed Celebrates World Toilet Day
11 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
This week on a very special episode of You Crap, we're giving back to the community by celebrating World Toilet Day. This honest to goodness real holiday happens in just ten days, and helps to put focus on the global sanitation crisis. Through several different agencies, you too...
Top 10 NFL Week 9 Ad Questions
12 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Will our troops overseas be more likely to come home safely, now that they know there is a free Bloomin' Onion waiting for them? 9) Is there something about jewelry from Jared that's especially appealing to hags? 8) Does any legitimate business use GoDaddy for Web services...
Top 10 questions from the Tim Lincecum pot bust
14 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
When life gives you a Pothead Cy Young winner, you make Pothead Cy Young winner list lemonade. Or brownies. Mmmm, brownies.10) How could he be so careless... to not have a medical permit?9) Will part of his inevitable rehab involve getting a grown up haircut?8) Why is he such a prima...
Top 12 consolations for Phillies Fans
15 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
12) Red Sox Fan will hear about this much more than you will11) A-Rod got hit a lot10) It's not like your laundry hasn't won recently9) New York Fan is still bent over that Giants game8) With any luck, you won't have to watch Brad Lidge ever again7) It was getting kind...
Phillies-Yankees Game Six Notes: Watching the Guillotine
15 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| 4 comments
| 4 comments
> Coming into tonight's game, despite my love for Pedro Martinez, I knew that a win was going to be all on the offense. They weren't ever going to win a 2-1 game in New York, not against this offense, and not with this bullpen. There was hope that they can slug their way...
Week 9 NFL Picks: Pandemia
15 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
While prepping this column, I started to feel untoward, and wound up losing consciousness. This happens far too often, considering my general lack of sleep and advancing age, but this was a different story; this was Full Blown Unwell. And two days before a scheduled flu shot. Just...
Week 9 of You Crap The Bed: Old Time Decision Making
16 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Our apologies for the lateness of the show this week, as negotiations with this week's sponsor didn't firm up until very late in the process. We're thrilled to have the classic account of Fletcher's Castoria "Bad Mommy" Laxative on board, especially in a bye...
Phillies - Yankees Game 5 Notes
17 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> And we're back, because this has gone so well the last two times I've tried this. Stout heart! Firm belief! Cliff Lee! I might also still be drunk.> In that all important portion of the game where I'm not really watching due to being a less than totally worthless...
Top Ten Takeaways From Favregeddon
18 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Terrorist Packer Fan didn't bring his "A" game9) Perhaps it's not a great sign when you bring in Ancient Ahman Green to return kicks8) Maybe one day, Aaron Rodgers will be enough of a winner to have an offensive line 7) The Packer organization still has so much...
Phillies-Yankees Game 4 Notes
18 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| 2 comments
| 2 comments
> In the first, Joe Blanton had no movement on his pitches, not that he's usually drowning in it, and wound up surrendering two runs after the first two men reached base. Adding to the interest was watching A-Rod get hit, the third time that's happened in the last two games...
Top Eleven Week Eight NFL Ad Questions
19 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
11) Will Wanda Sykes' "whole new dangerous direction in late night" involve any amount of actual humor?10) Why would I want to patronize the cellular phone plan of cannibalistic pigs?9) Does Capital One get a lot of their business from Ren Faire Doucebags, and do I have...
Eagles vs. Giants Notes: Well, That Was Unexpected
19 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> I picked up Leonard Weaver in my cursed fantasy league. Maybe not so cursed? And there's no wonder why the G Men fell prey to a fullback run; after six weeks of Line of Scrimmage Punt Return, it must have seemed downright exotic. > On the first quarter pick from Eli Manning...
Phillies-Yankees Game 3 World Series Notes
19 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Well, that was fun. If you like the Yankees, or rectal pain. Otherwise, not so much.9) One of the reasons why baseball will never be football: hitting The Centaur, Alex Rodriguez, with a pitch might make you feel good, but not nearly enough, since it's really not a help for...
Game 2 Yankees-Phillies World Series Notes
21 days ago by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> For 17 innings, the Phillies had played nearly mistake-free baseball (the exception: Rollins' ninth inning error last night), refusing to cede to the pressure that took out the Twins and Angels. Down two in the eighth and facing Mariano Rivera in his bid for a six-out save...
SITE INFORMATION
Five Tool Tool
Cheap, mean, biased, unfair and tasteless sports blogging, as seen on sites like Deadspin, With Leather, DanShanoff.com and more. We've got a logo, a lot of people pick our stuff up and link to us, and one day, we will rule Antarctica.
Related Yards
Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers
Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?
Join the Yardbarker Network (YBN) for more promotion, traffic, and money.
