LATEST STORIES FROM GOAT RIDERS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Guzman to go under the knife? Must be a day that ends in "day"
Angel Guzman, back in his prospect daysWhat's more appropriate -- calling him Frankenguz, or Guzmanstein? Should we change the term from surgery to guzery? Nah, that last one's too much. Regardless, by this point, the frail body of the former Cubs prospect Angel Guzman has to be riddled with more scars than a lazy serf's back.
The story out of...
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March 05, 2010
Discuss
Tom Gorzellany
Between 2006 and 2007, Tom Gorzelanny pitched well over 200 innings while maintaining a sub-4.00 ERA. Then, in his 100 2008 innings, Tom ended up with an ERA well above six.
What gives? Or, rather, gave?
Tom has never struck out a ton of guys; his strikeouts-per-nine-innings rate held roughly constant over the three year period. He allowed a pretty similar number of hits to opposing...
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March 05, 2010
Goat Riders vs. Cuban Baseball Shout Boxing
Yesterday, we published a very brief blurb about the Cubs signing Cuban pitcher Juan Yasser Serrano. Turns out that, much as there's a blog for the wide varieties of stinky cheese out there, there also exist websites dedicated to following the Cuban past-time. This article, which was meant as nothing more than a brief update on a news story with only a hint of commentary...
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March 04, 2010
A note to the fine people of Seattle, Washington
Dear Seattle,
First of all, congratulations on convincing a world racked with recession that extremely expensive coffee drinks are a necessity that we cannot live without. That's a fine trick, right there. But I didn't come here to talk java, but what I do need to talk about can result in elevated blood pressure.
I bet I have some sort of notion how relieved...
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March 04, 2010
2010 Player Preview: Randy Wells
Although 2009 was hardly the year we'd hoped for, there were a few pleasant surprises. First among them was the breakout season of one Randy David Wells, a late-blooming starter who was almost lost to the Blue Jays in the Rule 5 during the 2008 season.
Wells made 1 appearance in Toronto before being sent back to the Cubs, and in '09 he was promoted out of necessity...
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March 04, 2010
Juan Yasser Serrano tries to sign with Cuba, doesn't look closely enough at the contract
In other words, the Cubs have signed themselves their first Cuban defector in recent memory. The player in question is Juan Yasser Serrano, a pitcher who is apparently destined for Double (or possibly Triple) A.
Serrano brings with him a fastball in the low 90's, and is reportedly 21 years of age. (Keyword: reportedly.) It'd be interesting to look...
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March 03, 2010
2010 Player Preview: Ted Lilly
I know we've all been the Mark Prior Watches, the Kerry Wood Watches, even the Aramis Ramirez Watch, all the towel drills and all the false starts so typical to Cub World. But make no mistake, Ted Lilly will come back in 2010, one-hundred-percent, as good as he ever has been.
Lilly, rumor has it, maintains a complex of hydroponic chambers in the basement of his lavish...
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March 03, 2010
2010 Player Preview: Ryan Dempster
Ryan Dempster's successful conversion from reliever to starter has been one of the greatest values for the Chicago Cubs over the past few seasons.
You do realize he had a base salary of just $5.5 million in 2008, right? That's the year he pitched 206.2 innings, racked up 187 strikeouts, won 17 games, and posted a 2.96 ERA. Fangraphs estimates his play was worth roughly...
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March 03, 2010
2010 Player Preview: Carlos Zambrano
It's hard to believe that the Ageless Carlos Zambrano is still chugging away in a Cubs uniform. After all these years, as the decades have rolled by, Carlos has remained a Cub. Sure, there's a lot of gray in his beard now, and the wrinkles are evident on his sand-paper-like skin, but we can certainly count on the Old Moose to step up once more and deliver unto...
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March 02, 2010
Kevin Millar
Well, A.J., it appears to me that the last three years, the Braintrust of Hendry, Bush, and Piniella likes to find a specific scapegoat for the previous year's failings, then make a singular and usually ill-advised move to remedy it. Then they rub their hands together, put up a huge banner that says "Mission Accomplished", and sit back with satisfied looks on their...
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March 01, 2010
2010 Player Preview: Non-Roster Invitees
Here at GROTA, we're kicking off a run of preview-type articles, profiling some of the folks you can expect to hear about over the next 30 days as Spring Training gets going. To start, let's talk NRIs.
The Cubs have invited 21 non-rostered athletes (a loosely used term in some cases) to compete for major league spots while the team trains in Mesa. The full list, grouped...
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March 01, 2010
Regrabbing for the bullpen
Today's re-grabbers - Jason Frasor and Kiko Calero
The case for additional bullpen help: starting from the top: Our closer, Mr. Marmol, is capable of paralyzing hitters. The problem is, it could be temporary paralysis due to slider, or permanent paralysis due to fastball in temple. Our set up man, Mr. Guzman, is fragile, currently injured, and relatively stupid....
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February 26, 2010
Over/Under - 87 Wins
In no way do I disagree with anything Kurt wrote on the last post. In a year where very little was done in the offseason, save the removal of a soul-sucking parasitic tumor, we Cub fans are subject to a potent concentration of 'wait and see'.
Which, frankly, is the way it should be with so many players signed to long term expensive contracts. In theory, at the...
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February 25, 2010
Over/Under: 90 Wins
Not too long ago, Goat Reader MSD asked a tough question: do we think the Cubs will win over or under 90 games in 2010?
Sheesh. Might as well ask me to predict where the stock market will be in six months (altho' I'd be generally inclined to guess "in the toilet").
While I can't predict the future of Cubs baseball (altho' I'd be generally...
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February 24, 2010
Should this be Derrek Lee's last year with the Cubs?
Today's most interesting Cub-related news comes from a report filed by Bruce Levine, which says that Derrek Lee isn't interested in negotiating a contract extension during the season.
That line of discussion raises a question: should the Cubs be interested in negotiating a contract extension for Lee at all?
Sure, there are enough reasons to support investigating what it...
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February 23, 2010
Pinin' for the fjords
Surely you've noticed that, in the past few weeks, GROTA hasn't exactly been spewing content. This evoked one of our writers to send out a team EMail yesterday asking if the blog was officially dead.
I assure you, sir, that this blog is merely restin'!
Maybe it's an indication of how boring in general the off season has been. Players have reported to...
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February 23, 2010
Angel Guzman cannot afford to move his family out of Caracas
On a team with very few impact trades, signings or other acquisitions, the legitimate media is picking up on the terrible news that reliever Angel Guzman lost his brother this winter, a victim of a shooting in Caracas, Venezuela. Caracas has been listed by one world agency as the most crime-ridden city on Earth, and although Guzman has managed to move his mother and younger...
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February 22, 2010
Could 2010 be the year?
I'm beginning my third decade of being a Cubs fan, and I can't remember not caring about the team this much since probably 2002. Truth be told, I'm more excited about the upcoming Chicago Fire season (new coach, couple of new foreign players I know nothing about, but who just have to be awesome because they're foreign, and a new formation with "attractive attacking...
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February 22, 2010
How do you feel about the 2010 season?
Predictions, Projections, and Psychotic Bloggers. In the shortest month of the year, the month in which Pitchers and Catchers report, predictions, projections, and psychotic bloggers go together like peas-n-carrots, or pro athletes-n-Kardashians.
Like the rest of you, I've had a long, dreary winter to think about the State of the Cubs. Actually, probably more than...
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February 15, 2010
A "leadoff platoon" is a great idea for the Cubs.
Last season was a disappointment for Cubs fans, but I can think of at least one good thing that came as a result: Alfonso Soriano is no longer in the leadoff spot.
The guy was never leadoff material. But for some reason, up until last season he would always seem to struggle when moved down in the order as a Cub. According to Yahoo! Sports' situational stats, he was hitless in...
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February 10, 2010
Open (and slightly lame) Topic: Who's The Franchise?
No, this is not an article about Mark Prior.
Since we're still waiting under a thick blanket of snow for Spring Training to start, I thought I'd open a topic for some lively discussion and debate: which Cub is the franchise player?
Is it Carlos Zambrano, an under-30 pitcher with a fat contract and ace-like aspirations?
Could it be Derrek Lee, the most productive...
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February 10, 2010
Sweet Lou thinks Cub fans will be kind to Mark McGwire this year...what do YOU think?
Oh, well, he APOLOGIZED! That makes it all better.
0% (0 votes)
Hellllll NO! I'm gonna BOO the big swolled up prick!
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I'm bringing in containers of durty syringes to throw at his fat ass
0% (0 votes)
I'm gonna sink my teeth into the flesh of his acne-scarred back
100% (1 vote)
Huh...
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February 09, 2010
How does X grab ya, Part XLIV
Today's Grabber - Braden Looper
And it has come down to this, where we discuss the relative merits of one Braden Looper, who very well could be the poster child of Meh.
We knew all along that the Cubs were not making big free-agent deals this winter; the biggest money we were planning to spend would be used on a B-level centerfielder, which is what happened. Hendry got...
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February 08, 2010
For better or worse, minus the "or worse" part
Rob wrote a fine piece the other day, skirting the issue of Cub bloggers who manage to walk the precarious tight rope between a ridiculously inflated sense of self-importance and a throbbing, pulsing insecurity complex. Kind of harkens back to the old saying, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser...
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February 07, 2010
Where are your expectations for how the Cubs will perform in 2010?
World Series victors! WOOOO!!!
0% (0 votes)
They'll easily make the playoffs.
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If the division sucks, they might manage to win it.
100% (1 vote)
I'll be wishing we had a .500 team.
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Have you heard about those awful Chicago White Sox? They suck!
0% (0 votes)
...
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February 06, 2010
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