LATEST STORIES FROM HARDWOOD PAROXYSM
15 Footer 12.29.08
December 29, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Wassup, rockers? REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT: Worst of the 90s, Unite!: Nuggets at Hawks Who'd a thunk it? But this might just be the most entertaining match-up of the night. I consider Denver to be must-see TV these days. K-Mart...
The Onslaught Versus The Fortress Of Servitude: Heat at Cavs 12.28.08
December 29, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Notes from the Miami Heat versus the Cleveland Cavaliers at the Q on December 28th, 2008. How good are you at sizing up something you have a conflict with? How long does it take you to evaluate what you're up against and how best to overcome that obstacle? Now imagine you have less than two ...
A Question to Ponder
December 26, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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So, we already know that China would go out of its way to send the US a pretty severe message: screw with us, and we'll make you regret it...by putting Yi into the All-Star game. "What's that America? You giving us some lip? FINE, you got it, Sun Yue just beat out Chris...
Merry Paroxysm
December 25, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Happy MF Holidays to all you folks who read the blog. You've kept us afloat for nearly 2 MF years now. So, thanks. Srsly, I meen that. MFing Luv u. But in all honesty, we wish the best to you and all those you love. Well, unless you love the MF Lakers. In that case, I hope you...
15 Footer 12.22.08
December 22, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Did you miss me, NBA Blogosphere? Tell me you did. -Matt REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT: The Battle You Came To See, Jamal Crawford Versus Jameer Nelson. Wait, What?!: Golden State at Orlando When I think "Gonna Drop A Half Century Bonus...
New Jersey: Differences in Opinion
December 21, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Jason Kidd: "That just shows how classy New Jersey is. They're true fans of the game, and they let you know if you're doing your job or not doing your job. I was thankful that they appreciated the job I did when I was here." Mark Cuban: "I guess when you don...
Dukies Care Not For Your Subtlety
December 19, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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A nice Duke twofer yesterday: Carlos Boozer has declared that he intends to opt-out of the final year of his deal with the Jazz (shocker!), and Grant Hill is officially the ESPN Trade Machine's worst enemy. Frankly, I was caught off-guard by how surprisingly blunt each was. Booz made it ...
It's a Great Day to Be a Paroxysm
December 19, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Matt's always told me that one of his goals is to get "nova" on SportsCenter. Haven't made that jump yet, but this has to be close: Not sure I buy that Shaq's a HP reader, but quite the crazy, random happenstance, yes?
15 Footer 12.18.08
December 18, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT: Every Little Thing He Does is Magic. Pop is Not Amused: Spurs at Magic Dwight's scheduled to make his return tonight against the Spurs, and they're going to need him. Not that the Spurs looked all...
15 Footer 12.17.08 Relax, We're Back. Halfway.
December 17, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Now that is one great movie. One that I've been trying to track down on DVD for some time now, with no success. So if ANYONE out there has a copy of either We're Back or STEEL (Yes, the one with Shaq...yes, I already have Kazaam) on a real, non-pirated region 1 DVD, hollaback...
Wow! What a Wonderful Site I've Discovered!
December 17, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Well by golly there are some great NBA blogs out there! And certainly, a lot that aren't written by me! Here's an excellent post of a Hierarchy of NBA Archetypes at some blog called Upside and Motor, that most certainly is not written by me. Nope, no Rob over there. Pinky swear.
Make It Stop!
December 15, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Fire up the shirt presses for this gem: smitch &pj &mo &eddie &randy ® I'd buy it. But this has gotten out of hand. Moore skips town and half the coaches are fired, 50 players switch teams, all-star ballots are fixed, the Nuggets are in the fracking playoffs...
Chuck Person's Back-Up Plan
December 15, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Wait. What? I'm fired too? What did I do? Oh, this is the worst. It's not even my fault. Coach Theus was like, "HEY, let's run the triangle!" I said, "Are you sure?" What else am I supposed to do? That guy won't listen to anyone except Anthony Anderson...
Odds on Number of Coaches Fired
December 15, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Between the opening tip off a couple months back and the opening tip off of next season, it is not unrealistic to think that as many as 1/3 of the coaches who were with teams at the start of 2000Hate might not be around come 2009. Seriously, let that seep in. Even the NFL doesn'...
GAME OVER. INSERT TOKEN HEAD COACH TO CONTINUE
December 15, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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One could certainly make the argument that Mo Cheeks had the best name of any head coach in the NBA. One could also make the argument that he was possibly the first coach fired this season with just cause. PJ? Sure he may have had it coming and he certainly wasn't "coaching...
They Must Be Stopped. Hurry, Get Your Wooden Spikes.
December 11, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Just when you thought vampires were falling out of the pop culture lexicon, here they come again. HP has found out that it is indeed, not the Chinese people who seem hell-bent on breaking the backbone of American Democracy -- No, not the election, silly. All Star Voting. This blood sucking army ...
NBA Wisdom from my Dad
December 11, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Had dinner with the folks last night and somehow, inexplicably, we got on to the subject of the Suns/Bobcats trade that only a handful of people know anything about. In fact, my dad actually broke the story to me as I was watching Sportscenter (what, I didn't have remote control...
Relax, Michael Redd
December 11, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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You'll get your foul calls if you get fouled. You don't have to scream about it.
Trade Machine Concoction Gone Wild!
December 11, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Please, tell me it was all a dream. Tell me I'm having a terrible, terrible nightmare. I WANT TO WAKE UP, DAMMIT. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITH RAJA BELL AND BORIS DIAW AS BOBCATS. GodZiller may have appropriately titled his post "Boris Diaw + Larry Brown = Must...
A Sad State of Affairs
December 11, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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This evening I was watching the Lakers of Los Angeles take on the Suns of Phoenix in a match-up between two perennial powerhouses of the Association of National Basketball. Traditionally this is a win-win situation for your humble author: I hate both the Lakers and the Suns and luckily, given ...
Hey Rob, Do You Like Basketball?
December 10, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Hey Rob, Do you like the NBA? ME TOO! We should be friends. Which team is your favorite? The Mavericks! Oh man, that is so funny because I like the Spurs. Even though our favorite teams are rivals we can still be friends. When was the last time the Spurs and Mavs played? They played tonight! ...
I Can't Believe This Pairing Didn't Work Out
December 09, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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If, in 2003, Isiah Thomas had known that within 5 years: Stephon Marbury would have alienated all of his teammates,An entire depth chart worth of point guards had been traded away and Starbury wouldn't take the court,Steve Francis would die,An entire depth chart worth of shooting...
McHale's Back to Coaching...The Punchlines Just Write Themselves
December 08, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Wittman out, McHale in. I fully expect the Wolves to go on a ten game win streak and eventually make the playoffs, before falling to the Lakers in an epic seven game, second round series. But obviously, there's a lot going on here. Let's break it down: McHale and those in...
15 Footer 12.8.08
December 08, 2008 by
Hardwood Paroxysm
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Let's do this. REASONS TO WATCH THE GAMES OF THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION TONIGHT: YOU'RE DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED! Charlotte at Miami Bobcats. DOOMED. Jason Richardson is just bouncing back from his bizarre knee situation, Gerald Wallace will miss tonight's game...
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