LATEST STORIES FROM HOCKEY RANTS
Canucks Can GM Dave Nonis
May 02, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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Well, my day was certainly brightened when I heard the news that Dave "No Balls" Nonis was canned as GM (and various other inflated titles) of the Vancouver Canucks. Finally, some good news around here! The poor Vancouver Giants were knocked out of the WHL playoffs :(<br /...
Sean Avery: His Crap Works!
April 25, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by Jes It's rather well known to my 5-6 readers that Sean Avery is one of my least-favourite players. It's one thing to be a pest, but it's another to be an annoying douchebag with few redeeming qualities. I would NOT want to be a teammate of Sean Avery, no matter how many goals h...
A Hockey Rants Tribute to Peter Forsberg
April 25, 2008 by
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by JesDespite the fact that I deride Swedish hockey players, I've always had a serious man-crush on Peter Mattias Forsberg. If I had to look like a celebrity, I'd choose Forsberg, or Jiri Slegr. (We're no strangers to love)What defines the standard 'Canadian' hockey...
Idiot of the Day: Paul Stewart
April 21, 2008 by
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by JesPaul Stewart, the former enforcer and popular (with the players) ex-referee had some choice comments about the Chris Pronger situation.His thinking: Pronger wouldn't have gone all stompy if the game had more enforcers and he wouldn't have to protect himself. Uh-huhYou...
Why Can't I Get Excited About the Canucks?
April 21, 2008 by
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by JesSo, we've got a few games left in the season and the Canucks are in a race for the Western Conference's last playoff spot that is tighter than Hillary Clinton's ice-cold nether regions.Despite this, I can't seem to get excited about it at all.Have I just given...
Sabres Fan Sues Team, Gets No Sympathy From Blogger
April 20, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesWhen you go to a hockey game, you know there is a small risk that you *might* get injured. We have netting at arenas, but the puck can still find its way into the stands once in awhile.Also, we know that the glass can shatter or break from time to time. So, why is it that people...
The Canucks Are Out, Life Goes On
April 20, 2008 by
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by JesIt was a good thing that the Canucks/Flames game was on Pay-Per-View, since I didn't have to witness the Canucks choking away another must-win game by failing to score more than a single goal against a weaker team.It's also good that I've long been at peace with the...
Rangers Aren't Be-Deviled
April 18, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by Jes In my First Round predictions, I gave the New York Rangers little chance and little credit in their ability to beat the New Jersey Devils. With the Devils on the brink, I obviously have quite a lot of egg on my face. Admittedly, I don'...
MLSE Scams Ticket Buyers, World Yawns
April 16, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by Jes The Toronto Maple Leafs organization just continues to be one of the very worst in all of professional sports. To the days of Harold Ballard to the constant inept too-many-cooks management to corrupt employees, the Maple Leafs are just one gi...
Mediot of the Day: Don Brennan
April 14, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by Jes img<img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_GNE-_nXmWwk/RiJRJ-xlgSI/AAA...
Elisha Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf? Ewww...
April 11, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesI don't watch "24", and really don't care much for Elisha Cuthbert. She's not quite as good looking as most people seem to think she is, her hairstyles always suck, and her attempt at hockey blogging made Glenn Beck look like a genius orator of opinion.That...
Practical Playoff Predictions
April 09, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by Jes With all of my heavy workload at work and school, and with the Canucks practicing their chip shots, I'm finding it hard to really get into the playoffs like I normally do. That sucks, I know ... the best time of the year for hockey, and I'd need the hockey equiva...
Dater Does Not Dig Dion
March 28, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesMost MSM mediots are rather droll and uninspired. Years of covering the same team and beating the same drum seem to suck the life out of most writers, leaving them bitter husks that create stupid trade rumours out of thin air (*cough* Tony Gallagher *cough*), and always whine...
Thursday's Tardy Thoughts
March 27, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesTed Nolan is a great motivator, without a doubt. If I were hiring a coach and had a team of gritty, blue-collar players, Nolan would be near the top of my list of coaching hires.That said, how should we evaluate his actual coaching ability?Ignoring their late-season swoon, the...
Friday's Frank Frothings
March 20, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesOh, I know I'm a negative Canucks fan, but this season is now officially over.Sure, the Canucks might make the playoffs, but they certainly won't do anything substantial. I don't even expect an upset, unless the Canucks play Dallas (unlikely). Basically, a season...
Do Bloggers Dream of Richard Zednik?
March 17, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesAt last, I've uncovered the super secret formula that the NHL uses for handing out suspensions.(Previous Suspension + Media Outcry - Player's "Star"* Power + Number of Bowel Movements Colin Campbell Has Had in Previous 48 Hours) X Random Number Picked Out of...
Caption This Photo: Pain in Leafland
March 17, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesIn celebration of Hockey Day in Canada, let's partake in one of our nation's finest traditions: raggin' on the Leafs.How about giving us a good caption for this photo? It's just begging for a creative description. Yes, their pain is my pleasure. (c) Getty Images...
Peter Stastny's Curious Crusade
March 16, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesWhen Peter Stastny, a Slovakian icon like few others, was no longer holder of the GM position with the Slovak national team, most of us suspected the usual shenanigans within the Slovak Hockey Federation.The Slovak federation has always been beset with politics, patronage, granting...
Vancouver Canucks: Stuck in the Middle
March 16, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesIt hasn't easy being a fan of the Vancouver Canucks, a team that has been close to the Stanley Cup twice, but has never actually won it. All the while, we've seen newer teams like the Ducks and Lightning win it all ...It certainly hasn't been easy being a fan of this...
God Damn Ducks!
March 16, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesWhile Teemu Selanne was contemplating retirement this past off-season, there were rumours that he hadn't been training at all, and was somewhat out of shape. After all, who wouldn't want to just relax, kick back, and drink an a few hundred alcoholic beverages after a...
Markus Naslund's Deep Decline
March 14, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesTo show you what kind of 'leadership' the Canucks have been getting from Markus Naslund this season, just consider what kind of stats Naslund has been putting up while his team fights for their playoff lives.March 8 vs STL: 0-1-1 -1March 6 vs. NAS: 0-0-0 -2March 4 vs...
Ovy's Got a Girlfriend!
March 05, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesThe moment Sidney Crosby ever gets spotted with a hot female companion, the Blogger servers will likely crash after the stampede of visitors to The Sidney Crosby Show causes the Earth to collapse upon itself.In the meantime, we'll just have to gawk at the 'other'...
Is "Canadian" a Racial Slur?
March 05, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesWhile the Southeastern United States lies on the same continent, it might as well be half way around the world. The customs, attitudes, and language of that region are just so vastly different then ours in Vancouver that if I ever happened to travel to Atlanta, I'd feel like...
Just How Many Fans Does the NHL Have?
March 01, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesOur Southern correspondent checks in with an interesting link to a Wall Street journal post. The topic? Just how many fans does the NHL actually have?The NHL claims it has 50 million fans, and cites the results of one particular survey to help back up its claim.The Numbers Guy...
Thursday's Thirsty Thoughts
February 29, 2008 by
Hockey Rants
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by JesNot only are the Anaheim Ducks a better team than the one you cheer for, but they are also stylin' and profilin' like GQ models. Somewhere, Earl Sleek is drooling over his Jack&Coke. "I'm too sexy for my sticktoo sexy for my stickso sexy, it's sick"...
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