LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
In Which Readers’ Lives Play Out Like Popular Films: the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Advice Mailbag
8 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We had some great questions submitted after lunch today, and that’s too bad, because the bulk of the mailbag is always written the night before. Wednesday, people. That’s the best time to submit questions.
Now, on to the mailbag! Some compelling stuff this week, including...
KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: “Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”
8 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Laura here is in her first season with the Cincinnati Ben-Gals cheerleading team. At 41, she is also the oldest cheerleader in the league. Admirably, she has refused to let age stand in the way of her desperate, desperate need for attention. Sorry, that’s a really mean joke; actually...
Untitled
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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THIS FACKIN GREEK FAKE-HISPANIC BITCH IS RAWPONSIBLE FAH ALL OW-AH SAWFFERING! That’s right, everybody. Put down all the statistical analyses proving that Belichick did actually make the correct decision by trying to convert the 4th and 2. Turns out, the Patriots were fated to...
The Most Fearsome Wedding Procession Ever
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I cry for this couple’s future children. Hell, I weep for all of us. Thank goodness we’re all gonna be wiped clean from the Earth in 2012. Because, really, once you see a bald, schlubby white groom do the spastic Ray Lewis “dance” to greet friends and family...
Hey there fella, Glanville wants to coach your football team!
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I hear your lookin’ for a new football coach. Shoot fella, this is your lucky day. It just so happens that, after much careful reflection, I have decided to draw a curtain on my distinguished college coaching career and return to the scene of my greatest triumphs, the NFL!
Hey fella...
Week 10 Meast and Least: The Season for Illness
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Someone at my gym was telling me about a guy who went into the hospital with back pain; he told the doctors he was afraid he had spine flu. And that’s not a joke. That apparently really happened, according to the second-hand story that I’m now making a third-hand story...
LeBron: I Could Be A Really Good NFL Receiver
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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LeBron James loves football, attention. LeBron James still pines for the sport he left behind in high school, and he’s not too humble to tell people he could still be a “really good” receiver in the NFL. Of course James isn’t stopping there. The Cleveland Cavaliers...
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10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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NO DICK, WE’RE NOT HIRING. Dick Jauron was fired by the Buffalo Bills yesterday. And yet Charlie Weis is free to graze around South Bend without so much as a cattle prod. Too bad for Jauron; his teams always seemed so well-prepared. And they had such depth. And they routinely...
LOLNFL: Week 10
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Image courtesy of NY Post via Upstate Underdog
Here’s some more of this lovely young woman for your enjoyment…
Now I don’t have any funny caption for this last picture, but…
Images via Yahoo! and SI unless otherwise indicated.
The Pitter Patter of Little LaToeFeet
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Donovan McNabb: Damn, man. You couldn’t have waited one more week to get your form back? What got into you?
LaDainian Tomlinson: Wife got pregnant.
Donovan McNabb: How does that work?
LaDainian Tomlinson: sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Donovan McNabb: And then?
LaDainian...
I Will Not Be The Team Switchboard
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wade: Gosh dangit. We had to go and ruin a perfectly good four-game winnin’ streak by strollin’ into Green Bay and layin’ a darn egg! Ugh.
Well, guess I better get to work. We got those pesky Redskins comin’ in this week, and I know darn well they’ll [...]
What If Tobias Fünke Had Directed Brett Favre’s Wrangler Commercial?
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wrangler Really Tiny Jean Shorts – watch more funny videos
Well then it would almost certainly look just like this, only with a few more homoerotic double entendres. [Funny or Die]
Maybe This is Tirico’s Way of Celebrating Sesame Street’s 40th Anniversary
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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It makes you wonder how Flacco didn’t make this post.
The Browns are hanging with the Ravens through the first quarter, even if that isn’t likely to continue. Making Bawlmer burn their entire complement of first half timeouts in eight minutes will probably be the top Cleveland...
Electrolytes Out!
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Or, alternatively: X MARKS THE RAPIST.
Yes, that’s Shawne Merriman with the logo for something called POWERADE ION4 shaved into the side of his head, because who wants Brent Celek to get away with being the biggest guerrilla marketing ***** in the NFL? Puhlease. Who’s...
Not So Fast – There Are Annoying Yinzers to Mock, Too
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Everyone got so swept up in Patriots chokery, it’s like they forgot all about Steelers schadenfreude. Yesterday the Bengals essentially locked up the AFC North by completing a sweep of the Steelers thanks to getting one of those unglamorous tough slog victories that the Steelers...
Untitled
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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NOW THAT IS A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT FOR LONG-TERM EMPLOYMENT! THAT IS OUTSTANDING BOILERPLATE LEGALESE! I’M GONNA CALL THIS GUY “THE NEGOTIATOR” Why, God, whyyyyyyyy? F*ckface cliche machine Jon Gruden has reportedly agreed to a long-term deal to remain in the...
In Which We Interrupt Peter King To Make Fun Of Dipsh*t Boston Fans
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left professional groin watcher Peter King, he was growing up before our very eyes, stomping all over poor Taylor Swift’s red dress with his size 14 circus feet, and finding himself entranced by Peyton Manning’s words. Oh, Peyton Manning’s words and stories. I could...
FACK YOU, INDY!
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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YOU GAWT LUCKY! BELICHICK SHOULD HAVE BEEN REWAHHHDED FAR HIS BAWLLS! HE’S SETTING YOU UP FAR THE NEXT GAME! WE WERE-AH THAH BETTAH TEAM! NO ONE DENIES THIS! I SECRETLY SAW THIS COMING!
Andrea Kremer Has a Lot of These Damn Gimp Jackets
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Week 4, a rhapsody in blue
Week 10, a regal purple nerple
GIVE US THE RAINBOW OF YOUR ZIPPER FETISH! YOU WILL LIGHT THE FIELD ON FFFFIIIIIAAAAAAHHHH
The Most Overhyped Regular Season Game of the Year That Doesn’t Feature Favre
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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BRADY ASKS FOR A ROUGHING PENALTY ON EVERY PLAYKKAKE
The epic Bill Belichick-Jim Caldwell blood feud is renewed in this, a contest bound to be sorely lacking in superlatives about the quarterbacks involved. But there are so many other intriguing storylines aside from the obvious QB...
Watch Them Turn Lambeau Field Into A Giant Muuuuuuudpit!
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
AT THE LAMBEAU FIELD! FIELD! FIELD!
IT’S BLOOD, SWEAT AND GEARRRRRRRS!
WITH AARON “GRAAAAAVESITTER” RODGERS!
AND FELIX “HAAAAAMSTRING” JONES!
IT’LL BE ACTION ACTION ACTION!
KIDS GET FREE CORN DOG WITH PURCHASE OF TWO ADULT...
Joey Porter’s Day Off: Your 1 PM Open Thread For Week 10
12 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter has been benched against the Buccaneers this week. Apparently running one’s mouth against the Patriots will earn you a vacation against the next scrub team on the schedule. Which is almost interesting–Tampa Bay beat the Packers last week...
Sexy Friday: Because You’ve Earned It
14 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We leave you this week with a couple of images from the occasionally NSFW Suicide Blonde, and one order of specially requested beefcake.
Stupid limbs, always getting in the way.
And now for the ladies (and probably a gentleman or two), television host/linebacker Dhani Jones…...
Always Be Covering: Where the Creamsicle Will Be Missed
14 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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One week without the pewter and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers became the last team in the NFL to pick up their first win of the season (woohoo). This week they’ll undoubtedly cast aside their campy throwbacks, which will of course result in another familiar loss. Continue after the...
We Let You Down, KSK Readership
14 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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In retrospect, it’s really sad we didn’t have a liveblog of last night’s game. Yes, it was one of those grinding low scoring affairs that people who fetishize offense always complain about. But then there were also FIVE CUTLERF*CKER SULKERCEPTIONS! TWO IN THE ENDZONE...
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