LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
LOLNFL: Week 5
October 13, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Haynesworth image via the Bog
Other images via Yahoo!
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week – Week 5
October 13, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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If you watched the end of the Broncos-Patriots game as I did, you remember sitting there for a solid minute or two after Matt Prater’s game winning kick as CBS cameras gleefully followed Bill Belichick around as he tried to search through the crowd on the field, in vain, for his...
Brian Russell Finally Does Something Good for the Seahawks
October 13, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Longtime readers of this site know that I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with aging white safety Brian Russell — in that I would love it if he died, because I hate him. But ever since the gritty veteran (read: slow and talentless) got cut by the Seahawks, I no...
Hispanic Heritage No Match For “Cannon Armed” White Guys From Michigan
October 12, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Even Suzy can’t believe Braylon caught balls tonight.
Last year with the Ravens, Rex Ryan’s defense made dolphin-filled tuna out of the Wildcat formation. Surely there was no way that Miami could win unless they did it like the Saints did last week – get more points...
Pussytubing Goes Primetime
October 12, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Far Too Many References to Drew’s Rex Postskkake
Remember that big offseason fight that Rex Ryan had with Channing Crowder? Of course you don’t, because everyone stopped paying attention to the Dolphins weeks ago. “BUT REX DIDN’T FORGET! HE’S GONNA HAVE...
Your Obligatory Limbaugh Ownership POFlaWA
October 12, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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As you’ve undoubtedly heard by now, conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is putting together a bid to purchase the St. Louis Rams in partnership Dave Checketts. Believe it or not, some people seem to think that this isn’t such a good thing. Countless writers have...
Peter King Does Not Approve Of You Getting All Chummy With Players
October 12, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left name-dropping thought football enthusiast Peter King, he was making a stupid amount of money, resisting the temptation to have a slumber party at various players’ houses, and marveling at barren moonscape that is Eastern Connecticut thru his Acela cabin window...
Colts vs. Titans: Because Flex Scheduling Doesn’t Start For Five More Weeks
October 11, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The Colts are back on prime time television for the third time this season, and thank god, because I was beginning to forget what Peyton Manning looks like. Tonight’s match up isn’t exactly the gem it was supposed to be when the schedule came out, but it can’t be...
Putting the Super Mario Bros. Above These Hos
October 11, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The Niners defense is already on my good side for putting up 39 points in fantasy last week, which almost single-handedly gave me a victory over Ufford. Nevermind that they might have a hard time duplicating that feat against a team not as surpassingly awful as the Rams, I still dig...
Your 1pm Open Thread: Crappy Games, Ahoy!
October 11, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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“For me ‘business casual’ means I’m in front of a judge again.”
Cleveland Browns fan John Thompson, better known by his nom de fatass “Big Dawg”, has apparently reached a settlement with “Madden NFL” manufacturer Electronic Arts. Thompson...
The Friday Five: brought to you by Volvo and their roomy, if untidy back seats
October 09, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Via.
Welcome to the Friday Five, our unimaginatively-named Friday afternoon post where we provide you with five things the KSK staff is looking forward to this coming weekend….
#1 Marge Simpson in Playboy! I’m a little conflicted about this. Iwouldn’t think that...
Always Be Covering: But First Some More Thoughts On the Redskins
October 09, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Snyder’s best signings to date.
Yesterday Drew wrote a particularly satisfying rant on the topic of Dan Snyder’s inability to run a football team. While I didn’t agree with all of Drew’s points, most of his criticisms hit home for me and many other distressed...
“It’s not all lollipops and chocolates and fun times,” Tony Romo wistfully laments
October 09, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Much to the consternation of their fiery Latino fan-base, the Dallas Cowboys have seen disparate results in their four games this season. Before practice yesterday, quarterback Tony Romo admitted that what many see as a dream job can be vexing at times:
“[T]he quarterback...
Coaching Tree Infighting: Mumblechick vs. McSuperAIDS. WHO YA GOT?
October 09, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Last year, Josh McDaniels was tasked with making Matt Cassel look like an adequate quarterback, and by employing the daring strategy of exploiting a stacked receiving corps, he was able to accomplish just that. Having done so, it was certainty that some foolish team would be willing...
This Week’s Mailbag, Where You Send Us Your Problems With Sex And Fantasy Football And We Act Like We Know Something About Either One Of Those Things, Unless It’s More Fun To Just Laugh At You
October 08, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Rather than indulge every reader with a fantasy football question and a sex question from the same reader, we’ll spread the wealth and answer the better of the two from those who made the dubious walk to the Fountain of Knowledge and Ridicule. We’re mixing it up “...
KSK Off-Topic: Nazi Peanut Brings Levity, Style to Extermination of Jews
October 08, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Every now and again, we at KSK stumble across something outside the realm of professional football that we feel compelled to share, such as Beaker’s adventures in the nation’s capital. Yesterday, when Unsilent Majority requested a Photoshop of a Nazi-fied Mr. Peanut for...
Coach Ryan Breaks In The New Guy
October 08, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Mark Sanchez: Oof, that was a tough loss the other day, Leon.
Leon Washington: Yup.
Sanchez: The Saints handled us pretty good.
Washington: Yup.
Sanchez: I guess that’s just a lesson you learn. Everything isn’t always gonna be all roses. I gotta realize that I still have a lot...
AJ Smith is begging for a-chokin’
October 08, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The San Diego Chargers 2-2 start to the season has prompted general manager AJ Smith to call the team’s play “soft”. Yesterday, linebacker Shawne Merriman bristled at this statement.
“I don’t know too much of that. That’s an opinion of a person, and it...
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week – Week 4
October 07, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Jared Allen has Aaron Rodgers in his crosshairs.
This week’s Meast is none other than Jared Allen of the Minnebretta Favrekings. Allen plowed through Green Bay’s Clifton-less line for 4.5 of the team’s eight sacks. He later celebrated by shooting a black bear and...
JaMarcus Russell is Too Lazy For Clever Headlines
October 07, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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JaMarcus Russell: Thanks for bringing me out, cart guy.
Cart driver: It’s my job, JaMarcus.
JaMarcus Russell: Could you bring me over to the part of the sideline where the coach ain’t at? He gonna be all up on my ass for missing practice Tuesday. Then again Wednesday....
Peter King Makes A Stupid Amount Of Money
October 07, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We had about seventy million readers email this week us to say, “Oy. You gotta read this douchey interview Peter King did with the Wall Street Journal. It’s very douchey.” And so I did. And indeed, douchiness abounds. Surely, King had a Heineken Light or six before answering...
Mark Sanchez Earns His Nickname
October 07, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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One of the more head-scratching plays on Sunday was Mark Sanchez diving at the knees of lead blocker Jonathan Vilma on Darren Sharper’s 99-yard pick-six. Sanchez was the last Jet with a shot of making a tackle, so it’s unclear what exactly Sanchez had in mind besides destroying...
Untitled
October 07, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Jets acquire Braylon Edwards. The New York Jets have completed a trade for Cleveland’s Braylon Edwards. When reached for comment Jets coach Rex Ryan had this to say, “I heard Braylon punched out that little fella ’cause he’s friends with LeBron. That takes MOXIE...
Off-Topic: The KSK Kares Kharity Drive Aftermath, in Which You Are Encouraged to Point and Laugh at a Blogger
October 06, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Hey, who’s a gigantic tool?
THIS GUY.
For those of you who are late getting to the charitable party, the astoundingly generous KSK community raised $8,346 dollars for my participation in Fight Gone Bad IV, which just so happened to be the second-highest total of the 5000 CrossFit...
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