LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
Untitled
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: 244 people are still perfect through eight weeks; that’s about 18 percent of our original suicide poolers. And yeah, there’s a better-than-average chance that there will be more than one competitor standing when we run out of regular-season games. If...
GIANTS SACK! GIANTS SACK! GIANTS FACKIN’ SACK!
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Well, well, well. I should’ve known you Philadelphia faggots wouldn’t be able to get the FACKIN’ JAWB DONE against those GAWDDAMN FACKIN’ NEW YARK CAWKSACKAHS! Nevah send a boy to do a BAWSTON MAN’S JAWB!
(spits randomly)
You let us down, Pedro. You were-ah pitchin’...
This Sign Would Be More Effective If Done In Needlepoint
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Courtesy of reader Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend’s Tits comes this sign, apparently posted outside the Chiefs locker room. And now you know why Todd Haley is the lamest coach in the history of everything ever. THAT’LL LEARN YOU GOOD, LARRY JOHNSON. THERE’S NO STOPPING...
Untitled
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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EPISODE 21. GAME SIX AND A HALF. PUNTE and Brandon run through the issues of the day before making NFL picks with special guest “Gordon” and playing the “lost” interview with Jelisa Castrodale of The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy, (she’s also on Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook...
Hines Wald — He Who is Uncrean!
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Hines Ward: I am no berieve peeper say that numbell one smaltest leceivel arso numbell one dilty prayer.
Clazy! This not having sense. Evelytime, I am making pray extla crean. No othel prayer in reague make pray as crean as I make pray. Give smirre upon compretion of selvice. You...
Andy Reid Shows Off His O-Face
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Yesterday’s LOLNFL featured one particularly delightful picture of Andy Reid on the receiving end of a celebratory bump from second-year wide receiver DeSean Jackson. A reader (who goes by Pfah) immediately recognized the image’s potential as Photoshop fodder and got to...
Sentences we thought we would never write: “Ted Ginn, Jr. is your Meast of the Week.”
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I know, I know… I’m as surprised as any of you, but yet here we are. What a crazy old world. Ginn became the first player in league history to score two 100+ yard touchdowns of any type in a game. And hoo boy, is he fast. Watch…
Just. Wow.
Are you kidding me? [...]
LOLNFL: Favre Bowl Special Edition
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Images via Yahoo! Sports and Sports Illustrated
Fun With… Bill Simmons?
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We get a lot of requests every week to do FJM-style breakdowns of Bill Simmons’ columns. We largely avoid this because A) Peter King is more fun to poke fun at, B) It takes about seven seconds before Simmons trolls pop into the post and tell you what a HATURRRRRR you are, C) We [...]
Sexy Friday is Back and Dressed Up for Halloween
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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So here we are. Back to pictures of sexy people on Friday afternoons. Why? Because for the most part, the commenting was superb this week. We had one dumbass on Tuesday or Wednesday, and there was a case of failed sabotage this morning, but all in all the lack of bitching was a true delight [...]
Always Be Covering: A Salute to Prop Bets
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Stand at attention.
While last week’s individual game picks left a bit to be desired, the prop bets were quite successful. And hey, it worked once, so why not press our luck a bit? Continue after the jump for this week’s picks, a collection of the most enticing proposition...
The Avatars of Ungodly Football Futility. WHO YA GOT?
9 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Last year, the Lions set the benchmark for failure to which all future failures will be compared, at least until the NFL expands its schedule to 18 games and some woebegone franchise (Redskins?) finds a way to lose that many games in a season. This year, the Rams look every bit as...
‘Help! I’m a Poorly Constructed Villain in an ’80s Comedy!’ The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wow. Some really great submissions this week. I would’ve loved to have gotten to every question, but I really do prefer to keep this shorter than a Gregg Easterbrook column. (Good Lord, could you imagine Easterbrook writing this column? (Sour Play of the Week No.2: When TMQ...
The 2009 KSK NFL Halloween Kostumekkake
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is tremendous when coupled with the coinciding occurrence of Daylight Savings Time. That’s an extra hour to sleep off all the drinking de los muertes before preparing for a day of sports-related drinking. And we’re counting...
Coach Ryan Likes Hot Dogs
10 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Mark Sanchez: Felt good to get back in the win column again, Thomas.
Thomas Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: Who we got this week? Miami? That’s gonna be a toughie.
Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: Heard about Coach Ryan chewing me out in the media over that hot dog?
Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: You think he’s...
The Officially Licensed Redskins Snyder Sign Post
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Dan Snyder: Greetings, subjects. Welcome to the Bi-Weekly Officially Licensed Redskins Leadership Communique, sponsored by Freecreditreport.com.
Crowd: HAIL!
Dan Snyder: Have the Officially Redskins Branded Harris Teeter Meal Rations been to your liking?
Crowd: HAIL!
Dan Snyder: That...
You + Peter King = Chemistry
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Tomorrow, in a convergence that is bound to shake the very foundation of these here internets, Peter King will be having a live chat over at Deadspin with Deadspin readers. Good chat. Lofty chat.
Anyway, here’s your chance to query the man in person. I’ll probably abstain...
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week – Week 7
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I have a smoke alarm in my home to prevent my family from burning to death in the middle of the night. I also have a carbon monoxide alarm, lest someone in the house pull a Vitas Gerulaitis. I have yet to have an unreasonable amount of smoke or carbon monoxide set these [...]
Off-Topic: Shooting The Value Menu
11 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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DIRECTOR: Alright, everyone are we ready? Great shoot so far, everyone! People are really going to love this new Value Meal commercial. Alright ready lights… ready camera…and–
[cell phone rings]
Ahh, dammit! I have to get this. Everybody take five, alright? [crew...
LOLNFL: Week 5
26 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Haynesworth image via the Bog
Other images via Yahoo!
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week – Week 5
26 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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If you watched the end of the Broncos-Patriots game as I did, you remember sitting there for a solid minute or two after Matt Prater’s game winning kick as CBS cameras gleefully followed Bill Belichick around as he tried to search through the crowd on the field, in vain, for his...
Brian Russell Finally Does Something Good for the Seahawks
26 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Longtime readers of this site know that I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with aging white safety Brian Russell — in that I would love it if he died, because I hate him. But ever since the gritty veteran (read: slow and talentless) got cut by the Seahawks, I no...
Hispanic Heritage No Match For “Cannon Armed” White Guys From Michigan
26 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Even Suzy can’t believe Braylon caught balls tonight.
Last year with the Ravens, Rex Ryan’s defense made dolphin-filled tuna out of the Wildcat formation. Surely there was no way that Miami could win unless they did it like the Saints did last week – get more points...
Pussytubing Goes Primetime
26 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Far Too Many References to Drew’s Rex Postskkake
Remember that big offseason fight that Rex Ryan had with Channing Crowder? Of course you don’t, because everyone stopped paying attention to the Dolphins weeks ago. “BUT REX DIDN’T FORGET! HE’S GONNA HAVE...
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