LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
KSK Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week — Week 9
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Chris Johnson is your lion-maned Meast after shredding the 49ers defense for 135 yards and two scores. Add to that the fact that he had another 80-yard TD nullified by penalty after it was ruled he stepped out of bounds, and that’s a textbook Meastian performance. We almost...
Better Help Out Your Brah, Brah
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Brah, I don’t even know how to react to that! First, I’m all, like, WHEW! There’s Coldplay on the Pod. I praise Brahman for Coldplay. But then you go drop bombs on my moms with the no DMB disclosure. That’s like play-action mindf*ck, brah.
Brah! Is your black...
Ocho And Marvin, Under One Roof! The Care Package Episode
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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In an effort to regain control of his team, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis decides to take the drastic step of bringing volatile wideout Chad Ochocinco into his home in a spirited attempt to get the two men to understand one another.
Marvin: Hey, Chad! Chad! Get down here! Victory Monday is [...]
Neckbeard Jokes and Pidgin Asian Accents: It’s Gonna Be a Looooooonnnnnnnnng Night at the Steelers-Broncos Liveblogkkake
18 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Steelers at Broncos MNF Live-Blog
Our resident Steelers fan is taking the night off to watch the game at a bar with his Steeler friends, but we’ll still have gay mafia quorum here at the live blog, as we pull our weekly stunt of spending as much time typing and reading comments...
No Need To Worry, ‘The Brass’ Has An Idea
18 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Another week, and another demoralizing loss for the Redskins. As if things weren’t quite bad enough the team will now have to do without Clinton Portis for a while after the running back sustained a concussion in Sunday’s loss to the Falcons. But fear not, Redskins fans...
Semi-Fictional Jay Cutler Is the New Semi-Fictional Philip Rivers
18 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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All I wanted to do was call Vanderbilt gay, but I like the direction this went. And while it doesn’t fit in with the “Whatever” version of Jay Cutler we’ve envisioned at KSK, the @NotJayCutler Twitter feed is probably as close to reality as good ol’ ...
Peter King: Devil On A Red Dress
18 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left noted football learner Peter King, he was eagerly discussing the constant, bulbous throbbing of Brett Favre’s groin. Could that groin injury do Favre in, right in the middle of such a great season? I don’t know. If you touch Favre’s throbbing groin, does a...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
19 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The Eagles and Cowboys meet with NFC East primacy on the line. Just weeks ago, the Iggles lost to the Raiders and the Cowboys had to squeak by the Chiefs. Now suddenly, they’re teams of consequence once more. It’s key for Dallas to build as large a division lead as possible...
Untitled
22 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: 244 people are still perfect through eight weeks; that’s about 18 percent of our original suicide poolers. And yeah, there’s a better-than-average chance that there will be more than one competitor standing when we run out of regular-season games. If...
GIANTS SACK! GIANTS SACK! GIANTS FACKIN’ SACK!
22 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Well, well, well. I should’ve known you Philadelphia faggots wouldn’t be able to get the FACKIN’ JAWB DONE against those GAWDDAMN FACKIN’ NEW YARK CAWKSACKAHS! Nevah send a boy to do a BAWSTON MAN’S JAWB!
(spits randomly)
You let us down, Pedro. You were-ah pitchin’...
This Sign Would Be More Effective If Done In Needlepoint
22 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Courtesy of reader Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend’s Tits comes this sign, apparently posted outside the Chiefs locker room. And now you know why Todd Haley is the lamest coach in the history of everything ever. THAT’LL LEARN YOU GOOD, LARRY JOHNSON. THERE’S NO STOPPING...
Untitled
23 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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EPISODE 21. GAME SIX AND A HALF. PUNTE and Brandon run through the issues of the day before making NFL picks with special guest “Gordon” and playing the “lost” interview with Jelisa Castrodale of The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy, (she’s also on Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook...
Hines Wald — He Who is Uncrean!
23 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Hines Ward: I am no berieve peeper say that numbell one smaltest leceivel arso numbell one dilty prayer.
Clazy! This not having sense. Evelytime, I am making pray extla crean. No othel prayer in reague make pray as crean as I make pray. Give smirre upon compretion of selvice. You...
Andy Reid Shows Off His O-Face
23 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Yesterday’s LOLNFL featured one particularly delightful picture of Andy Reid on the receiving end of a celebratory bump from second-year wide receiver DeSean Jackson. A reader (who goes by Pfah) immediately recognized the image’s potential as Photoshop fodder and got to...
Sentences we thought we would never write: “Ted Ginn, Jr. is your Meast of the Week.”
23 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I know, I know… I’m as surprised as any of you, but yet here we are. What a crazy old world. Ginn became the first player in league history to score two 100+ yard touchdowns of any type in a game. And hoo boy, is he fast. Watch…
Just. Wow.
Are you kidding me? [...]
LOLNFL: Favre Bowl Special Edition
24 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Images via Yahoo! Sports and Sports Illustrated
Fun With… Bill Simmons?
24 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We get a lot of requests every week to do FJM-style breakdowns of Bill Simmons’ columns. We largely avoid this because A) Peter King is more fun to poke fun at, B) It takes about seven seconds before Simmons trolls pop into the post and tell you what a HATURRRRRR you are, C) We [...]
Sexy Friday is Back and Dressed Up for Halloween
28 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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So here we are. Back to pictures of sexy people on Friday afternoons. Why? Because for the most part, the commenting was superb this week. We had one dumbass on Tuesday or Wednesday, and there was a case of failed sabotage this morning, but all in all the lack of bitching was a true delight [...]
Always Be Covering: A Salute to Prop Bets
28 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Stand at attention.
While last week’s individual game picks left a bit to be desired, the prop bets were quite successful. And hey, it worked once, so why not press our luck a bit? Continue after the jump for this week’s picks, a collection of the most enticing proposition...
The Avatars of Ungodly Football Futility. WHO YA GOT?
28 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Last year, the Lions set the benchmark for failure to which all future failures will be compared, at least until the NFL expands its schedule to 18 games and some woebegone franchise (Redskins?) finds a way to lose that many games in a season. This year, the Rams look every bit as...
‘Help! I’m a Poorly Constructed Villain in an ’80s Comedy!’ The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag
29 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wow. Some really great submissions this week. I would’ve loved to have gotten to every question, but I really do prefer to keep this shorter than a Gregg Easterbrook column. (Good Lord, could you imagine Easterbrook writing this column? (Sour Play of the Week No.2: When TMQ...
The 2009 KSK NFL Halloween Kostumekkake
29 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is tremendous when coupled with the coinciding occurrence of Daylight Savings Time. That’s an extra hour to sleep off all the drinking de los muertes before preparing for a day of sports-related drinking. And we’re counting...
Coach Ryan Likes Hot Dogs
29 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Mark Sanchez: Felt good to get back in the win column again, Thomas.
Thomas Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: Who we got this week? Miami? That’s gonna be a toughie.
Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: Heard about Coach Ryan chewing me out in the media over that hot dog?
Jones: Yup.
Sanchez: You think he’s...
The Officially Licensed Redskins Snyder Sign Post
October 28, 2009 by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Dan Snyder: Greetings, subjects. Welcome to the Bi-Weekly Officially Licensed Redskins Leadership Communique, sponsored by Freecreditreport.com.
Crowd: HAIL!
Dan Snyder: Have the Officially Redskins Branded Harris Teeter Meal Rations been to your liking?
Crowd: HAIL!
Dan Snyder: That...
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