LATEST STORIES FROM MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE
Man Dies in Vat of Chocolate
His name was Augustus Gloop. The year was 1971. Not sure how this is news now.http://news.aol.com/article/man-dies-in-chocolate/562626
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July 09, 2009
Discuss
Michael Jackson is Dead
OK, you knew that.What you probably came here for was a couple of insensitive jokes like "Michael Jackson finally beat it" or "I bet he's moonwalking to the pearly gates!" but sadly you will not find them. Why? Because Michael Jackson dying isn't really funny.What do you mean, StegoSaurus, it's HIL-arious? Now say something horrible!N0rmally we would...
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June 28, 2009
Mocking the Dead: Ed McMahon
Here's hoping the Devil showed up at his front door holding balloons and a giant check.Die-O! Great one!Oh, and Star Search has been replaced by coffin search.
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June 23, 2009
Hey, what the **** is this?
Could this be the beginning of a return? A new trip into hell, much like the one David Carradine just took with a curtain cord tied around his bag? Is this the rebirth of the most offensive blog on the net, or will it be wrapped up quicker than Mike Tyson's daughter near a treadmill?Only time will tell *************. Only time will tell.
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June 09, 2009
The NHL Is a Bunch of Killjoys
My beloved Detroit Red Wings took two games over the weekend to advance to the second round of the NHL playoffs. They'll play either the Calgary shit eating Flames or the Colorado baby raping Avalanche, possibly my two most hated franchises in sports that are not from Boston.
Of course, the NHL bein...
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April 21, 2008
Lying Just To Lie
Everyone has someone in their school, office, construction site, cell block who is notorious for lying. Whether he's telling a girl in the next cube that one time he ran the New York City Marathon in just under four hours, or regaling us all with tales of the monster settlement that he worked out for...
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April 21, 2008
Hell Date
Most dating shows on television suck cock, except for MTV's "Date My Mom," and my personal favorite "Next," but only if there are gay people on the show, which is like every show so it is not a problem.
Recently, though, I've stumbled across another tremendous dating show "Hell Date," which airs wee...
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March 15, 2008
Jim Fucking Zorn?
Are you shitting me?
Seriously, we interview seven coaches for 300 hours each and decide to give the head coaching job to this fucktard? To quote Trunk, was Jerry Glanville busy?
"We're proud that our search was diligent, thorough, and resulted in today's announcement," said owner Dan Snyder, w...
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March 14, 2008
MBSR Idol: Season 2
When Trunk and I first started this blog we had the idea to let our readers fill space on the weekends when we are too lazy to contribute anything. That, of course, bombed horribly because, well, we had no readers.
But over the past few weeks as our traffic slightly increased we started getting more...
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March 13, 2008
StegoSaurus Gets a Job
Sorry about the lack of posting lately, but I've been bus...
OK, I have not been doing a fucking thing, but I finally bought a PlayStation3 and have been spending most of my time trying to get virtual StegoSaurus to hit the golf ball straight on Tiger Woods.
(Note: I consider myself the world's gr...
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March 12, 2008
Why The Terrorists Hate Us
When people like John McCain try to justify why the terrorists hate us they always jump at the old classics - our freedom, our liberty, our rights, democracy - but that's all bullshit and you know it. Nobody hates someone else enough to blow themselves up in a crowded market because a few thousand mi...
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March 10, 2008
Project Runway Episode 9
With Steg out of town murderin...on vacation with his girlfriend, one of favorite commenters Bateman's Legal Council offered to give us a rundown of Project Runway. As this blog is always starved for material, I accepted. Fortunately, Bateman is pretty fucking funny and so I give you his rundown.
Th...
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March 05, 2008
People Are Morons
Yesterday I thought Trunk provided some pretty solid evidence that our readers are for the most part fucking morons. I don't mean you disease bags who reside in the comments section because you obviously get what it is that we're doing here - but a majority of the people lurking in the shadows still ...
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March 02, 2008
They Always Come Crawling Back
You may remember a few weeks ago when JHC, a longtime reader and horrific contest entrant, decided to break up with your friends here at My Brain Says Rage. We, of course, never knew we were dating, but it still struck as kind of odd.
To quote the still dead Heath Ledger (I am still not sure why peo...
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February 22, 2008
Holy Shit: I'm Not Funny At All
Here at MBSR we pride ourselves in providing a level of comedy that you can't get anywhere else on the internet. None of us will throw up a post for the sake of putting something up and you can see that at work in our occasional droughts of material. You know, like mine for the last two weeks or so.
...
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February 22, 2008
With Nothing Better To Do
Alright antibodies* I must admit that I did absolutely nothing today. Since the Northeast is the most miserable place on Earth I'm sitting in the middle of an ice storm wishing someone would come through in hockey skates and Richard Zednik me out of my misery. In my attempt to waste every minute of t...
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February 17, 2008
You Will Not Be Remembered
MBSR takes the time to gloat over the fallen Pats and remind their fans that no one ever remembers the good regular season team that couldn't get it done.
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February 04, 2008
God Bless Old Nintendo
Now that my first draft of Master's Projects is in the books I've had a lot of time to piss around on the Internet. One of the places I've spend a lot of time is the aptly named www.everyvideogame.com, which as it says, has every video game you could imagine - at least for old school Nintendo.
I was...
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February 04, 2008
Meth Is Fun Again
As the resident Patriots fan of MBSR I have to tread lightly around these parts for the next two weeks. I thought better of posting a three thousand word rant on how great the Patriots are and how if they are able to beat the Lesser Manning for the second time this season they will complete the great...
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February 04, 2008
The Love Boat: Bon Voyage
As I announced last week I made the absolutely horrific decision to go on a week-long cruise with my girlfriend, who I fucking hate. Why? I am still not sure. It was such a bad decision that I got the following email from a friend who had the honor of meeting my girlfriend at a bar once.
"I believe...
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February 04, 2008
AIDS Wins Again
The star of "Brokeback Mountain" Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York City apartment this evening (afternoon). I know it was just a movie but I think AIDS can put this one in the win column.
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February 04, 2008
The Longest of Weekends
I feel like I'm not carrying my sizeable weight here right now. I've looked back and realized I've posted about twice in the past ten days. I'm not going to promise to do better, but I'm going to try. What I will promise is that this post will feature absolutely no football whatsoever, I may yet mak...
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February 04, 2008
Weekend Metallica: Battery
I didn't want to post over the horror story that Steg posted below this but I've never posted a Weekend Metallica before and I couldn't let that stand. Not sure how my cohorts here feel about "Battery" but whenever I want to explain to someone why I fuckin' love this band I play this song. Pay atte...
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February 04, 2008
This Really Bugs Me
Heading into this post I understand that it will be without a doubt the gayest thing I've ever written here and that's a big statement. Hopefully I don't offend all the nuns and dog fuckers in the audience like I did with that Heath Ledger AIDS joke (update: still dead by the way). Anyways - I spend ...
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February 04, 2008
People Are Dopes
All right, so the first truly funny thing with Heath Ledger killing himself.
Apparently the number one searched item on google yesterday was "Heath Ledger." And No. 2? That would be "Keith Ledger." Holy shit are people stupid.
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February 04, 2008
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My Brain Says Rage
Uncensored views and opinions about sports and everything else from three obscene writers.
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