LATEST STORIES FROM MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE
Man Dies in Vat of Chocolate
July 09, 2009 by
My Brain Says Rage
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His name was Augustus Gloop. The year was 1971. Not sure how this is news now.http://news.aol.com/article/man-dies-in-chocolate/562626
Steve McNair
July 06, 2009 by
My Brain Says Rage
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If you're going to get shot four times in the head by some crazed 20-year-old she should at least be hot.Oh, and despite the gunshot wounds, McNair is listed as "probable" for the Titans season opener.
Michael Jackson is Dead
June 28, 2009 by
My Brain Says Rage
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OK, you knew that.What you probably came here for was a couple of insensitive jokes like "Michael Jackson finally beat it" or "I bet he's moonwalking to the pearly gates!" but sadly you will not find them. Why? Because Michael Jackson dying isn't really...
Mocking the Dead: Ed McMahon
June 23, 2009 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Here's hoping the Devil showed up at his front door holding balloons and a giant check.Die-O! Great one!Oh, and Star Search has been replaced by coffin search.
Hey, what the **** is this?
June 09, 2009 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Could this be the beginning of a return? A new trip into hell, much like the one David Carradine just took with a curtain cord tied around his bag? Is this the rebirth of the most offensive blog on the net, or will it be wrapped up quicker than Mike Tyson's daughter near a treadmill...
The NHL Is a Bunch of Killjoys
April 21, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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My beloved Detroit Red Wings took two games over the weekend to advance to the second round of the NHL playoffs. They'll play either the Calgary shit eating Flames or the Colorado baby raping Avalanche, possibly my two most hated franchises in sports that are not from Boston.
...
Lying Just To Lie
April 21, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Everyone has someone in their school, office, construction site, cell block who is notorious for lying. Whether he's telling a girl in the next cube that one time he ran the New York City Marathon in just under four hours, or regaling us all with tales of the monster settlement...
Hell Date
March 15, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Most dating shows on television suck cock, except for MTV's "Date My Mom," and my personal favorite "Next," but only if there are gay people on the show, which is like every show so it is not a problem.
Recently, though, I've stumbled across another tremendous...
Jim Fucking Zorn?
March 14, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Are you shitting me?
Seriously, we interview seven coaches for 300 hours each and decide to give the head coaching job to this fucktard? To quote Trunk, was Jerry Glanville busy?
"We're proud that our search was diligent, thorough, and resulted in today's announcement...
MBSR Idol: Season 2
March 13, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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When Trunk and I first started this blog we had the idea to let our readers fill space on the weekends when we are too lazy to contribute anything. That, of course, bombed horribly because, well, we had no readers.
But over the past few weeks as our traffic slightly increased we started...
StegoSaurus Gets a Job
March 12, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Sorry about the lack of posting lately, but I've been bus...
OK, I have not been doing a fucking thing, but I finally bought a PlayStation3 and have been spending most of my time trying to get virtual StegoSaurus to hit the golf ball straight on Tiger Woods.
(Note: I consider...
Why The Terrorists Hate Us
March 10, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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When people like John McCain try to justify why the terrorists hate us they always jump at the old classics - our freedom, our liberty, our rights, democracy - but that's all bullshit and you know it. Nobody hates someone else enough to blow themselves up in a crowded market because...
Project Runway Episode 9
March 05, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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With Steg out of town murderin...on vacation with his girlfriend, one of favorite commenters Bateman's Legal Council offered to give us a rundown of Project Runway. As this blog is always starved for material, I accepted. Fortunately, Bateman is pretty fucking funny and so I give...
People Are Morons
March 02, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Yesterday I thought Trunk provided some pretty solid evidence that our readers are for the most part fucking morons. I don't mean you disease bags who reside in the comments section because you obviously get what it is that we're doing here - but a majority of the people lurking...
They Always Come Crawling Back
February 22, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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You may remember a few weeks ago when JHC, a longtime reader and horrific contest entrant, decided to break up with your friends here at My Brain Says Rage. We, of course, never knew we were dating, but it still struck as kind of odd.
To quote the still dead Heath Ledger (I am still...
Holy Shit: I'm Not Funny At All
February 22, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Here at MBSR we pride ourselves in providing a level of comedy that you can't get anywhere else on the internet. None of us will throw up a post for the sake of putting something up and you can see that at work in our occasional droughts of material. You know, like mine for the...
With Nothing Better To Do
February 17, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Alright antibodies* I must admit that I did absolutely nothing today. Since the Northeast is the most miserable place on Earth I'm sitting in the middle of an ice storm wishing someone would come through in hockey skates and Richard Zednik me out of my misery. In my attempt to...
You Will Not Be Remembered
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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MBSR takes the time to gloat over the fallen Pats and remind their fans that no one ever remembers the good regular season team that couldn't get it done.
God Bless Old Nintendo
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Now that my first draft of Master's Projects is in the books I've had a lot of time to piss around on the Internet. One of the places I've spend a lot of time is the aptly named www.everyvideogame.com, which as it says, has every video game you could imagine - at least...
Meth Is Fun Again
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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As the resident Patriots fan of MBSR I have to tread lightly around these parts for the next two weeks. I thought better of posting a three thousand word rant on how great the Patriots are and how if they are able to beat the Lesser Manning for the second time this season they will...
The Love Boat: Bon Voyage
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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As I announced last week I made the absolutely horrific decision to go on a week-long cruise with my girlfriend, who I fucking hate. Why? I am still not sure. It was such a bad decision that I got the following email from a friend who had the honor of meeting my girlfriend at a bar...
AIDS Wins Again
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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The star of "Brokeback Mountain" Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York City apartment this evening (afternoon). I know it was just a movie but I think AIDS can put this one in the win column.
The Longest of Weekends
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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I feel like I'm not carrying my sizeable weight here right now. I've looked back and realized I've posted about twice in the past ten days. I'm not going to promise to do better, but I'm going to try. What I will promise is that this post will feature absolutely...
Weekend Metallica: Battery
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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I didn't want to post over the horror story that Steg posted below this but I've never posted a Weekend Metallica before and I couldn't let that stand. Not sure how my cohorts here feel about "Battery" but whenever I want to explain to someone why I fuckin&...
This Really Bugs Me
February 04, 2008 by
My Brain Says Rage
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Heading into this post I understand that it will be without a doubt the gayest thing I've ever written here and that's a big statement. Hopefully I don't offend all the nuns and dog fuckers in the audience like I did with that Heath Ledger AIDS joke (update: still dead...
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My Brain Says Rage
Uncensored views and opinions about sports and everything else from three obscene writers.
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