LATEST STORIES FROM MY OFFICIAL GREEN BAY PACKER BLOG
When Coyness and Innuendo Make Me Barf
Well, folks. Here we are. The off season.
Brett Favre has said he thinks there’s no way he’ll come back for another season. Again. And he’s scheduled to appear this week in prime time on the new, old (and entirely marginal) Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And I’m sure there will be questions about [...]
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March 03, 2010
Discuss
Boobs, Headbands and Back Flips
If NFL franchise markets were boobs, Green Bay would have trouble filling out an A cup. And she’d be standing in a roomful of Jugs Magazine centerfolds. Big, full, bouncy, exciting…
Where was I? Right. Market size.
Green Bay is small. Roughly a quarter million in population. Probably the same number of people as inhabit the John [...]
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March 03, 2010
I Tried to Not Love You, Al Harris
During the football season my email inbox gets clogged with crap. Useless garbage, like a beer company telling me their spokesmodel will be in town, so maybe I blog about it? Oh, I blogged about it. Or when Jay Leno was launching his new show and there was a street team at [...]
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February 19, 2010
The Packers 2009 Season In Review
Just like most things on this blog, I’m weeks late to the party. The Packers’ season ended over a month ago and here I am, all “Hey, looky here! Season in Review!”
And just like most things on this blog, you’d expect that extra time would have given me the chance to dig in, [...]
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February 16, 2010
Rodgers is Maverick. Without the Homoerotic Volleyball Scene. I Think.
“You’re out there, Maverick, going Mach 2 with your hair on fire, but you’re always flying like you’re second best.”
Or something like that. I think I just blended a Jester quote with a Charlie quote, but hey. How much do you pay to read this blog? Right. Nothing. Lower your [...]
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February 04, 2010
Insider
I shouldn’t be telling you this.
I mean seriously, I shouldn’t.
Through some completely unrelated business travels and serendipity up the wazoo, I got to see an email. From someone inside the Packer organization. Someone everybody probably knows, but because of the situation I’m in that lead to this discovery, it’s someone that NO WAY [...]
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February 03, 2010
Yeah. I Really Can.
The last two weeks in Wisconsin you couldn’t go anywhere without Favre debates sparking up like brush fires in a lightning storm.
I was at the local Office Depot. Or Office Max. Whichever. Doesn’t matter.
Clerk: So, you saw the game?
Me: (slightly irritated, wanting to buy a $10 CF card reader and get the [...]
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February 02, 2010
Champagne Sighs
You remember the ‘72 Dolphins, right?
Nah. I don’t, either. I was four. But I’m told they had a helluva run. Perfect, as a matter of fact. You can Google perfection to get an idea what it looks like (turn your safesearch filter off for an extra treat). In Football? [...]
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February 02, 2010
Vikings Have New “Bend Over and Take in Ass” Song
I can’t believe I went on record to say I liked Prince’s performance in Miami at the Superbowl a few short years ago. Why?
Uh, he just released what has to be the most effeminate, limp-dicked fight song in the history of history:
I couldn’t make it past the 28 second mark. I suppose if [...]
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January 23, 2010
Ryan Grant: Redacted
I learned a fancy word a week or so ago from this woman who likes to call herself the “grammar bitch.” And I’ll tell you - she knows grammar. The rest of the description fits, too.
Anyway. Yesterday I said that Ryan Grant had earned his $6 million salary this season. And then I thought [...]
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January 21, 2010
Ryan Grant, By The Numbers
Someone commented recently that Grant had a good year. I think Grant’s grossly overpaid. Let’s check the stats and see.
In total yards, Grant was 7th best in the NFL. Pretty respectable.
In yards per carry, among ballcarriers with at least 100 carries, Grant was 23rd. Not so good.
In total attempts, he was again 7th. Good durability. [...]
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January 20, 2010
Cheesy Beers Across America
My fellow Packer bloggers and Packer blog readers: I have an assignment for you.
I’ve been listening to the ESPN radio between-commercial sound bite from Linus Scott Van Pelt for the last month about how the Steelers should have the distinction of being America’s Team based solely on the existence of Steeler bars across the country. [...]
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January 19, 2010
My Playoff Friend
Watching the playoffs this weekend reminded me of an old friend.
A really, really good friend. Known her forever. Many, many years ago, we used to go out. Sweet as sugar, smart and attractive. (And a bit of a freak, I found out way too late.) As almost always happens, we broke up. As almost never [...]
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January 18, 2010
Wherein You Go All Butthead and Call Me Gay
As I type this I’m sitting in a downtown Appleton “cigar bar.” If you know the city of Appleton at all, you know where I am. I’m sitting at the little table at the front of the store, watching the cars go by, watching the attractive women walk by in 7 layers of cotton, cashmere [...]
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January 15, 2010
Aretina is Sad
You remember Aretina, right? Aretina is a Packer fan. As you might imagine, Aretina is sad.
As one of the six finalists for the Monster Fandemonium thingamajigaretinaisadorableisn’tshe, Aretina got to meet Jerome Bettis and Sterling Friggin’ Sharpe.
And, as the hottest of the six finalists by a wide margin, Aretina deserves your vote. How [...]
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January 13, 2010
Against My Better Judgment
I’m invoking the Ray Nitschke jersey today.
The Packers have yet to win on the days I’ve worn it.
Ray’s ghost has to come through for the Packers at some point, right?
Technorati Tags: What, Me Superstitious?, Packers v Cardinals, Wildcard Playoff, Ray Nitschke
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January 10, 2010
Eagles Glory Days: Over
I had a friend was a big baseball player
back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Saw him the other night at this roadside bar
I was walking in, he was walking out
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
but all he kept talking about was
Glory days.
I [...]
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January 10, 2010
Koolaid? None for me, thanks.
Has the snow that’s blanketed Northeast Wisconsin in the last 24 hours been laced with LSD?
As happens in the winter months I was getting completely stir crazy from only having spent 3 hours outside of my home in the last 4 days, so I loaded up one of our dogs, drove down to the local [...]
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January 07, 2010
Fluffers Wanted
Arizona Cardinal head coach Ken Whisenhunt is trying to manufacture bulletin board material. In the inner circles of Cardinal football there’s talk that Whisenhunt was upset that McCarthy and the Packers left their starters in for the majority of their regular season matchup. One source close to the coach is quoted as saying “Yeah, coach [...]
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January 07, 2010
A Call to Fans of Women in Bikinis
The bikini girls in all likelihood missed out on their big chance of turning the show of a little skin into some money when they turned down Maxim’s offer of a photo shoot.
But that doesn’t mean they aren’t still at it, teasing male Packer fans within the confines of Lambeau Field and the viewing audience [...]
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December 29, 2009
Things I Don’t Know About Yesterday’s Game
I caught a few minutes of the game as we drove through Slinger, on the way home from visiting family over Christmas.
And then when I got home, the score was 38-3. Not worth watching at that point. I know, fair weather fan, right? Deal with it.
But there are questions that are still lingering in my [...]
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December 28, 2009
X’s and O’s
I’ve always said I’m not a big X’s and O’s guy. I just watch the games, see where I think the strengths and weaknesses are, then blog about how Brett Favre is a shithead.
It’s been a pretty solid formula for the last three years.
But today I thought I’d put together a brief animation of what [...]
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December 20, 2009
Lovie is a Fooking Loon
I think it was Astro that uttered the now-famous line:
Ruh-ro Reorge.
I can remember a very short while ago in Packer history when Lovie Smith’s Chicago Bears owned the Packers. Kept ‘em in a shoebox, pulled ‘em out twice a year to spank the crap out of ‘em, then put ‘em back in the box until [...]
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December 14, 2009
Sorry You Had to Travel All This Way for Nothing
It was a tight game between the Packers and the Zebras, as we expected. The Zebras were impressive both on offense and defense, racking up what has to be a near-record 310 yards. And considering the Zebras’ team is usually built from six old, white men who don’t wear pads, the show they put on [...]
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December 09, 2009
Ray Rice Doesn’t Like Football
It appears Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens, doesn’t like Green Bay. I kinda got that feeling when he said “I hate everything about it.”
I’m paraphrasing, of course, because he’s some punk ass RB who ran for 54 yards last night, so I’m not paying really close attention to the details of his [...]
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December 08, 2009
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