LATEST STORIES FROM PACMAN JONESIN'
Norv Turner, Phillip Rivers & Managing Expectations
September 23, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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After losing at home to the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday afternoon Chargers head coach Norv Turner said, “There are things we need to do better. It is what it is.” According to this San Diego Union-Tribune article yesterday, Turner had this to say:
“...
Top 10 Symptoms Of Norvitis
September 21, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Screw the swine flu. I have an acute case of Norvitis that I likely won’t be able to shake for another fourteen weeks. You probably do as well if you have at least six of the following symptoms:
10. A sense of dread, doom and gloom that takes over your entire body...
Everywhere You Look…It’s All About Asses These Days
September 21, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Is there a lack of civility in society today? Has boorish behavior become the norm? Maybe. However, for whatever reason, lately the news seems to be dominated by one thing: the ass.
*******
When you’ve become a national punchline and the President of the United...
Goldfish Racing Will Soon Be Sweeping The Nation
September 18, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Don’t look now, but goldfish racing is coming to a bar near you! Here in San Diego this sport is more popular than major league baseball (after all, the Padres are a glorified AAA team). The rules are very simple: 1) pay a $5 entry fee 2) pick your fish 3) name it something...
Pacman Jonesin’ Nation: We Want You
September 17, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Raider Nation, Red Sox Nation, Sports Nation, Dan (Patrick) Nation, Colbert Nation…everyone seems to have a nation these days. What if a nation only has about a dozen people though? Can it really be called a nation? Damn right it can.
Although there are only 16...
A Dozen Sizzling Hot Links: Hoops, Pigskin & Flicks
September 17, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Hitting the Links has been on hiatus lately so we’ll celebrate its return today by bringing you a yoked (one of my favorite new words) edition with a little something for everyone. Hope you enjoy…
Here are the Top 17 Movie QB’s…but wait a second, where...
Pacman’s PM Potpourri: Dick Jauron, Marvin Lewis, Sean Penn, Jessica White & The Prez
September 15, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Congratulations Dick “Check Out My Hat” Jauron and Marvin Lewis…you are now part of the 2009 NFL Drinking Game for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!! All season long I’ll be updating the page at the top so check back from time to time. Your...
Kanye West Is A *******…What’s The Big Deal?
September 15, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Is there a sane person who doesn’t think Kanye West acted like a jackass Sunday night? Barack Obama was simply expressing an opinion held by every other rational person in the world. So what if he’s the President of the United States. Does that mean he can...
Jake Delhomme Is The Tara Reid Of The NFL
September 14, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Faux Twitter Tweet Of The Day
I only turned it over 5 times yesterday. In the playoff game against Arizona I coughed it up 6 times. Why is everyone so pissed off? I’m improving, dammit!
Jake Delhomme September 14th
At one point in time, Tara Reid was...
The 2009 NFL Drinking Game: A Top 10 List Featuring Brett Favre, Jay Cutler, Andy Reid & More
September 13, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Are you ready for some football? The first weekend of the NFL season is upon us and the alcohol will be flowing in bars, restaurants and homes a few short hours from now. Just to make things a little more interesting, you and your buddies should down a shot or a beer...
The Hall of Shame & Who Is This Michael Jordan Fella?
September 11, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Apparently some guy named Michael Jordan is being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame today. I never really heard of him, but I’ll tell you what…he has great taste in women.
In honor of Jordan (along with David Robinson, John Stockton and Jerry Sloan) being...
Kurt & Brenda Warner’s New Book Is A Solid Read
September 11, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Speaking of hermaphrodites, Jesus Freak Brenda Warner has a new book called First Things First in stores right now. OK, that was a cheap shot. At one point in time, perhaps Brenda may have slightly resembled an intersexual. However, that is certainly not the case now.
...
Hot Hermaphrodites & The Curious Case Of Caster Semenya
September 11, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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I’m sure most of you have heard the rumors about Jamie Lee Curtis. However, hermaphrodite or no hermaphrodite, Jamie Lee has had one of the best bodies in Hollywood. Bar none.
Why am I writing about the gender of Jamie Lee Curtis this morning? It was reported yesterday that...
Top 10 Things Richard Seymour Would Rather Do Than Play For The Raiders
September 10, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Richard Seymour has not reported to the Raiders yet and in a Pacman Jonesin’ exclusive, here are 10 things he would rather do than play for Al Davis in Oakland:
10. Drink his own urine
9. Drink Tom Cable’s urine
8. Be Eddy Curry’s driver/personal...
Top Ten List…With A Twist: Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, Ron Artest & More
September 09, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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I know the NFL sesaon kicks off tomorrow night, but for some reason I have NBA hoops on my mind. Perhaps this has something to do with Allen Iverson inking a deal with the Memphis Grizzlies and David Kahn acquiring yet another point guard earlier today. Here is my latest...
Pop Quiz: Basketball Hall Of Fame, Kobe Bryant Is A Swell Guy & Is Beadle The Most Bangable Babe?
September 08, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Labor Day is in the rear view mirror. Summer vacation is over. Put your notebooks away and take out a No. 2 pencil because it’s time for the first Pacman Jonesin’ Pop Quiz of 2009.
1. Who is the most bangable babe on television or the silver screen?
A. ...
Danny Woodhead Makes The Cut & Hitting The Links On A Labor Day Weekend
September 05, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Just because he looks like an extra in “Dazed and Confused” doesn’t mean Danny Woodhead can’t play ball. Mad props to the New York Jets for keeping the Wes Welker of Running Backs on the 53-man roster! Although listed at 5′9″, the diminutive...
Pacman Jones Has Nothing To Do But Watch Videos These Days
September 04, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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When the news hit yesterday that Pacman Jones wasn’t going to be playing in the CFL this season, Canadian strippers shed enough tears to fill a pool the size of Brett Favre’s ego.
Since he is now a man without a team and filming of the Pacman & Starbury Show...
Bill Simmons & DJ Qualls Separated At Birth? & A Leftover Mailbag Question
September 03, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Reebok Faux Tweet Of The Day
Doesn’t Bill Simmons live in Los Angeles? Yikes! My man needs to get out in the sun because he looks even more white than me…especially his legs.
DJ Qualls September 3rd
Here Is One Of Bill’s Leftover Mailbag...
A Double Dose Of Thomas Jones, Pacman Is Back & A Poll Question About The Super Bowl
September 01, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Embed:
In addition to this amusing Thomas Jones video (remember to text Reebok for a chance to win an authentic NFL jersey), here are a few quick pigskin related thoughts before I head out on the road tomorrow morning…
Did you see the beard Brad Childress was sporting...
David Kahn Is A Genius, Eli Manning Is Such a Prankster & An Exclusive iPhone App
September 01, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Reebok Faux Twitter Tweet Of The Day
Although I failed to land Ricky Rubio, I’m on top of the world! You should see all my frequent flier miles!!!
David Kahn August 31st
If you thought Peyton “Cut That Meat” Manning was a comedian,...
Top 10 Shakiest NFL Head Coaches
August 30, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Did somone say shake? I sure could use a strawberry shake to wash down all these donuts.
10) Andy Reid - While Reid has been successful in Philadelphia (eight post-season appearances in ten years), Eagles fans are only kidding themselves if they think he can lead the team...
Halle Berry & Megan Fox Headline A List Of Los Angeles Clippers Ownership Partners
August 27, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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As you may have read a few days ago, the Williams sisters joined Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony and Gloria Estefan as limited ownership partners of the Miami Dolphins. I have to admit that as far as star power is concerned, this list of partners isn’t too shabby. However...
Hitting The Links…With A Money Back Guarantee If You Don’t Laugh
August 26, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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Even if you don’t find me particularly amusing, today’s batch of sizzling links comes with a money back guarantee. If you don’t laugh at least five times I’ll send you a check for $4.00. Why $4? Why not? Just grab a cup of coffee or another beverage...
Is Magic Johnson The Answer For The Detroit Pistons?
August 25, 2009 by
Pacman Jonesin'
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I can see the headline now: MAGIC COMES HOME TO MICHIGAN!!
Let’s face facts…the Pistons are a mess. Their best pure floor general, Will Bynum, is the fourth guard on the depth chart and is essentially a garbage time player. Rodney Stuckey is a slashing...
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