LATEST STORIES FROM DEUCE OF DAVENPORT -

Yes, There Is A World Champion of Burping

Like the video says, everyone has a talent, this guy's just talent just happens to be simultaneously incredibly awesome and amazingly vulgar. Paul Hunn is the world champion of burping. This man can burp so loud, its equal to standing next to a running chainsaw or a guitar amp with no ear protection. At 110 decibels, his burp is loud enough to actually cause hearing damage...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 19, 2009

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

So here is a list: Jim Brown. Ernie Davis, Donovan McNabb and wait for it.... wait...GREG PAULUS?That's right folks, albeit a day late which I believe should be forgiven due to yesterday's wall to wall Favregasm, Greg Paulus was named the starting QB at Syracuse University for the 2009 campaign. Now, some of you may remember Mr. Paulus, who after being named Gatorade National...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 19, 2009

Antonio Pitalua Makes Jose Reyes Go Boom Biddy Bye Bye

It's hard to argue with the contention that Antonio Pitalua's devastating knockout of Jose Reyes (Sorry, not the Met) is probably the best of the year. Best Boxing Knockout of the Year - Watch more Funny VideosI jumped out of my chair and yelled "Oh my god!" when Pitalua connected with what used to be Reyes' jaw. As Smokey would say, Reyes got knocked the *...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 18, 2009

Senior Pound A Punk Day Is A Raging Success

Don't let those gay senior bowlers fool you. They may seem happy and harmless as they search for something to do besides talking about the old days and ******** themselves but cross them and they'll get all Jesus on that ass. A 16 year old kid found that out the hard way when he tried to steal during senior league night.The would-be thief tried to steal two purses from two...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 18, 2009

The Nationals Sign Stephen Strasburg

$15 million is all it took for the Washington Nationals to sign the #1 pick of the 2009 draft, Stephen Strasburg. The "greatest pitching prospect ever" is now a National and, if the Nats keep going at the rate they are now, he might even be joined by high school phenom Bryce Harper next season.The question is now, what do the Nationals do with Stephen Strasburg? The minor...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

Online Bookie Pays Out Big on Tiger's Win...Wait, He Lost?

Irish online sports betting site Paddy Power lost a bit of money over the weekend when they decided to pay out over $2 million in wagers on Tiger Woods to win the PGA Championship on Saturday...before he even teed off for round 3. This, obviously, did not work out so well for the betting site when YE Yang came from no where and won the event on Sunday. Meaning they not only lost...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

Kyle Orton Doesn't Waste Any Time Endearing Himself To Bronco Fans

Photo: Joe Amon, Denver Post
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

No Man Cave Is Complete Without This

Some enterprising nerd alcoholic out there has brought together videogames and booze to create the ArKeg "Drink n Game" system. What the hell does that mean? Well it means you have a customizable arcade cabinet with a kegerator built inside of it there at the bottom. With modern emulation technology, you can basically play any game from any system on this sucker and...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

It's over. The hell with war or climate change. The animal revolution has already begun. The flesh-eating robots and plants aren't far behind. Kiss your loved ones goodbye because we're ******. What?Overdramatic? Us?
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

Brett Farve And Italian Foreplay Are Your New Punchlines

Brett Favre stories are like Bebe's kids. They don't die, they multiply. Every time they seem to fade away, they come back thanks to someone in Minnesota called Unnamed Source. When I find Unnamed Source, I'll make sure he never spreads any rumors again. Until then, we aren't going to entertain any stories about potential comebacks, Mississippi practices or any other...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 17, 2009

The Return of the Dog Slayer

Today, the City of Brotherly Love introduced a brother who recently has been loved dearly in the joint. And of course with the announcement that the Eagles signed Michael Vick, the Worldwide Leader went to Plaid implementing wall-to-wall coverage featuring a nationwide polling orgy and Woody Paige arguing with a life size mannequin of Michael Vick. The Leader's pundits took...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 14, 2009

Michael Phelps Should Just Stop Driving

Olympic God and personal disaster Michael Phelps has crashed his car into another car on Thursday night. I'm beginning to wonder why, with all his money, he just doesnt get a driver in a car with heavily tinted windows (to hide the bong use of course). This is the second traffic incident Phelps has had since his Olympic medal domination, the first resulted in a DWI.Apparently...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 14, 2009

Redskins Offense Is Unproductive...In Other News, The Sun Is Still Quite Hot

Shocker that the Redskins were shut out of their first preseason game of the 2009-2010 season, 23-0, just a shocker. I mean, when you have one of the most unproductive offenses last season and just pray that the players you have get better...well this is what you're going to get. I'm not even discussing the offensive line, which surprisingly played adequately, I'm talking...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 13, 2009

Trevor Bell Says Get Out Of This Inning, You F**king Mime

There's nothing more endearing than an alcoholic clown unless it's an alcoholic clown played by Bobcat Goldwaith. Unfortunately there won't be a Shakes the Clown II: Electric Boogaloo. No more mime beatdowns, kids. Luckily, we have the second generation spawn of Bozo the Clown to fill the void.The Angels saved birthday parties and condemned mimes to doom by calling up...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 13, 2009

Kenny Williams Can't Catch A Break

Yesterday, not only did Chicago White Sox GM Kenny Williams win a waiver wire claim for Toronto Blue Jays OF Alex Rios costing his team $60 million, he also got ticketed for jaywalking. That is $56 out of his own pocket right there all for not trying to find a street corner before jetting across the street to Safeco Field before his team played the Mariners.He probably just got...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 11, 2009

Play Lacrosse And Your Could Die

Death by a sudden blow to the chest, thus stopping the heart, is the cause of 43% of the deaths in Lacrosse games. That stat is 2x greather than in baseball, about 15x greater than in football, 20x greater than in soccer, and 54x greater than for softball. In other words, if you get hit in the chest by that hard little ball coming out of that stick at like 100m.p.h...you very well...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 11, 2009

Being A Raven's Like Being Snoop Dogg

Coach Snoop the Great "stay ready so he don't got to get ready". Check out Snoop's presser from Ravens training camp.Fo sheezy my neezy indeed. The Browns will probably respond by bringing in Soulja Boy to support Coach Mangina. They need another soldier to replace Kellen Winslow who's off to a great start in Tampa. Expect more fail.
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 07, 2009

The Manchester City Spending Spree Has Gone Off The Rails

From a Deuce reader:Man City to make GBP50m bid for Newcastle United supportersPremier League billionaires Manchester City have today launched anaudacious bid for the entire fan base of recently relegated NewcastleUnited. The unexpected move has come as part of City's plans to bethe best supported club in the world, and the so-called 'BestSupporters In The World' have...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 05, 2009

Antonio Cromartie Is Down A Couple Sprewells Thanks To Twitter

The inevitable crackdown on Twitter use by NFL players and personnel has begun with the Packers and Dolphins banning use of it from "pre-game warmups to the end of the game". Similar bans elsewhere have created stupid situations such as in San Diego. Antonio Cromartie was fined $2500 for twittering about the Chargers' "nasty food" and wondering if it prevented...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 05, 2009

Charles Rogers And Rashaan Salaam Want To Know What The Problem Is

Rashaan Salaam's name should become a verb the next time a professional athlete admits to smoking weed every day. "Player X rashaan salaamed himself out the league." Former Lion Charles Rogers gets us one step closer to sweet verbdom with his admission that he smoked the tweed every day and was addicted to painkillers. He flamed out after his third season in the league...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 05, 2009

Wanna See A Kid Hit A Cycle of Home Runs?

With the first pick of the 2016 draft, the Washington Nationals select...this kid. This 10 year old kid hit 2 solo home runs, a 2 run homer, a 3 run homer and a grand slam to do the unthinkable and hit a cycle of home runs. Absolutely insane and an extremely rare event. Check it out.Photo from the LA Times
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 04, 2009

Fantasy Camp With Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard

The guys at Funny or Die have another video featuring an all star lineup. This time, Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard show a guy what every day life as a major leaguer is like with his MLB Fantasy Camp experience. Love the Prince karaoke.
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 04, 2009

UT Wild Boys Strike A Pose

Where to begin with this? Why exactly is the football team posing with its shirt off in front of a Lamborghini? I mean I realize its a photo shoot, but what magazine/calendar/etc are they shooting for? I can't imagine the everyday UT fan wants to see this? Why do some of the players have large chains on their neck and back? Why are they all flexing? What is the word I...
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 04, 2009

Randball does the math and figures out that Lendale White stopped drinking 1,000 shots of tequila to get slim. Damn, the man can put it away.
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 04, 2009

The Ode To Favre

Here's a skewering look at the media's involvement in the Favre retirement/unretirement story, one that basically blames the media for why we all pretty much hate Brett Favre now. You know like 80% of you do hate him now. Anyway, enjoy.Via Wondershot LLC
Via Deuce of Davenport -  |  August 04, 2009
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