LATEST STORIES FROM SPORTS HERNIA
NFL.com continues safety blitz of hard-hitting news
Yes, the following sentence actually exists on NFL.com: "People can question Brady Quinn's effort as a quarterback all they want. As a boyfriend, though, there's no denying his commitment." To give a little background, they're referring to Quinn flying to...
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October 12, 2011
Discuss
Report: Ohio State punter asked to return perk
A Columbus area vespa dealer and reputed booster named Vincenco Bocchino has asked Ohio State punter Ben Buchanan to return his 'borrowed' Vespa after accidently punting a teammates helmet during Saturday's embarassing loss to Nebraska. Photo via Yahoo
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October 11, 2011
Al Davis (July 4, 1329 - October 8, 2011)
The NFL sadly lost one of its biggest characters in years when the great Al Davis passed away this past Saturday. From cultivating Mad Max fandom to wearing flesh masks to inexplicably trying to field an Olympic 400-meter relay team...
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October 10, 2011
Good for Detroit!?!
The Detroit Tigers celebrated like a boy band for winning a five game series for the right to play a seven game series in the ALCS, for the right to go to the world series to play a seven game...
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October 07, 2011
Report: Texas AD Bill Powers partying hard with Rusty Hardin
The Hernia Mole has learned that Texas Athletic Director Bill Powers (seen here looking rather gray faced in a urine colored suit) has been spending quite a bit of time with his old 'boozing & litigation buddy' Rusty Hardin. Reports...
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October 06, 2011
Mike Francesa goes to great lengths to explain he did not, in fact, realize something
We're almost positive Mike Francesa recently took in Abbott and Costello's storied "Who's On First" skit for the very first time. Adorable. If you've ever wondered how Mikey fills five and a half hours of sports radio each and every...
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October 05, 2011
Powerful novocaine shot sends Skip Bayless into incoherent rant
As you can see from the photo, the "discussion" on ESPN's First Take today was centered around retired quarterback Brett Favre. The thought of Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith tackling anything Favre-related is about as terrifying as Terrence Cody's...
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October 05, 2011
The SportsHernia Podcast -- 10/4/11
The SportsHernia podcast regrettably returns to discuss such hot topics as born-again virgins wearing football jerseys in public and Shawn Kemp's amazing post- lockout fatness. The clearly drunk Hernia Staff then rounds out the podcast with a rousing game of...
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October 04, 2011
Tim Kurkjian cannot believe the game of baseball
Vintage squeaky Kurkjian gains some serious steam at the 1:17 mark. According to our source, Timmy K. pulled up to the ESPN campus this morning with the entire passenger side of his car filled with baseballs, and two old mitts...
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September 29, 2011
Report: Red Sox Target Wookie for possible 'play in' game
Despite reports that the Boston Red Sox will NOT trade for a starter in time for a potential 'play in' game tomorrow - the Hernia Mole has learned that they are targeting a Wookie named Lumpawarrump. Lumpawarrump is a favorite...
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September 28, 2011
Jeter and Ellsbury pay tribute to Beecher and Keller at second base
You've got to hand it to Derek Jeter and especially Jacoby Ellsbury, whose reeling team is still fighting to maintain a playoff spot, for taking the time in the middle of a baseball game for a second base servicing during...
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September 27, 2011
Andy Reid still refusing to address beaver allegations
The sooner Andy Reid admits to being 3/4 beaver, the sooner he can begin gnawing on tree bark at press conferences. [via Yahoo]
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September 26, 2011
Anthony Rizzo shows ump another way to 'Lay Wood'
Padres trainers were later relieved to know that Rizzo was not talking about his hamstrings when he was overheard repeatedly screaming 'Rippin and Tearin' to first base umpire Gerry Davis. [Photo Via Yahoo via by Kent C. Horner/Getty Images]
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September 25, 2011
Yankees clinch AL East, act tremendously fabulous
Out of the 6,781,204 photographs that have been taken throughout the lifetime of Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, approximately 6,781,203 have been incredibly awkward and humorous. The one photo that did manage to look normal was when young Alex dressed...
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September 22, 2011
Yi Jianlian reportedly spending offseason training with Goro
Have you ever seen Yi so positively delighted and at peace with life? A fourth arm is pretty much inevitable at this point. Not pictured? His second dong. [Original photo via Yahoo/Liu Jin/AFP/Getty Images]
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September 20, 2011
Risky magnetic wall claims two Oriole outfielders
It's been a huge couple of weeks for scene-stealing outfield walls, which we naturally presume is some kind of grassroots effort to celebrate the name of wall-hugging great and Royals legend, Tommy Murphy. So how did these ridiculous Orioles end...
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September 19, 2011
Michigan-Alaskan Pipeline
Nearly a week after it was revealed that Glen Rice allegedly went intercontinental with former vice presidential candidate and media hag Sarah Palin, The Sports Hernia blew the doors off other pairings between the two states. Interestingly enough, University of...
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September 18, 2011
Juan Samuel lets 'freak flag' fly during Phillies celebration
While celebrating clinching the NL East Division Title Juan Samuel, could not contain his joy or stop tweaking his left nipple while being doused with tall boy of Budweiser. Surprisingly, the the feeling was a little less somber in Queens....
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September 18, 2011
Mets "admit" Johan Santana won't pitch this season
This is without question the most spellbinding headline of the day. With approximately 13 days left in the season, such blistering news tends to hit sports fans like a runaway Madden Cruiser. Listed below are some other equally stunning admissions...
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September 16, 2011
Report: This fan (or is it fans?) exist
Do you realize the monumental effort that goes into looking like such an elaborate *******? Someone actually sat down and took the time to meticulously affix that little skull -- perhaps the official term is "sidecar skull" -- and other...
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September 15, 2011
Mariners outfielder puts forth valiant effort to cover up "JORTS.com" ad
Even though we don't know who he is, Seattle Mariners outfielder Michael Saunders literally threw himself into fire that is the neverending Jorts epidemic that continues to sweep our fashionably inept nation. It was by no means a Tommy "Burger...
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September 14, 2011
Manny Ramirez exits jail with incredibly hard nipples
The somehwat frustrated look on Manny's face reportedly had little to do with being arrested for hitting his affable sounding wife, and much more to do with his cell mate refusing to allow the aloof slugger to leave the facility...
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September 13, 2011
The Hernia causes Mike Francesa to Snarf on air
We applaud our fearless leader Tim Ryan for calling into 'Miked Up' and giving Miguel Francesa **** for his ball washing of Joe Torre over the whole 'Unanimity' thing. We never would have expected MLB to bend any rules --...
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September 12, 2011
The Sports Hernia Podcast Is Back: 9.12.11
Due to no demand whatsoever, the SportsHernia Podcast returns for the third installment of it's embarassing comeback tour. This week, the Hernia staff talks about an unfortunate incident that was witnessed involving a dog peeing and a crazy person, Tiki...
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September 11, 2011
Sports Hernia Podcast 9.12.11
Due to no demand whatsoever, the SportsHernia Podcast returns for the third installment of it's embarassing comeback tour. This week, the Hernia staff talks about an unfortunate incident that was witnessed involving a dog peeing and a crazy person, Tiki...
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September 11, 2011
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