LATEST STORIES FROM SPORTS HERNIA
By not penning an unshitty thought, New York Knicks fans know Mike Lupica doesn't care about them
11 hours ago by
Sports Hernia
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Throw on your khakis and argyle socks, it's time for a ride down squirrel dick lane. You'll particularly enjoy the part where an out-of-touch Lupica talks to the one alleged Knicks fan he knows -- a guy who awkwardly dresses...
Eli Manning just hoping to avoid breast examination this Sunday
14 hours ago by
Sports Hernia
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Yes, the heated and often emotional search for a flattering picture of Eli Manning trucks on. The search is now well into year 28. That is no way depressing.
Beetlejuice and Bam Morris now running the WFAN switchboard
19 hours ago by
Sports Hernia
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Under the apparent new WFAN guidelines, don't be surprised to soon hear a caller play Weird Al's "George Of The Jungle" in it's entirety.
Update: Hockey violence still laugh-out-loud funny
1 day ago by
Sports Hernia
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Tupperware party? Stationary party? Hell and No. Give this woman two hockey players beating the living piss out of each other and all is right in the world.
The Sports Hernia Show - Episode 8
1 day ago by
Sports Hernia
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This week's installment of The Sports Hernia Show does an impressive swan dive into the intriguing Cleveland Browns mess while wondering when Buddy Ryan will give his weeping son an uppercut. We also look at the Larry Johnson/Bengals nuptials, Melky...
Ric Flair now playing hungover sewer rat in real life
2 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Oh, almost forgot -- Ric Flair attacked Hulk Hogan and whipped reporters with his belt at a press conference in Australia. Same old, same old. Hulk Hogan Bloodied at Press Conference w/ Ric Flair [Bob's Blitz]
If you didn't think frayed Jorts completed The Bill, you'd be wrong
2 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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This must be Bill Belichick's perverse way of punishing himself for Sunday's loss, although he always seems to be trapped in a self-induced punishment regardless of the outcome. Perhaps this is The Bill just hanging onto his Nashville roots.
Mike Francesa confirms Knicks will lure free agents "Because Da City Is New Yawk"
2 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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But da city ain't New Yawk without Big Mikey. Embrace it, embrace him. Guy is a masterfully skilled chameleon. Mike Francesa Is The Emperor Of New York [Tirico Suave]
Breaking: Steve Phillips may have trouble finding next gig
3 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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The New York Daily News ran a compelling piece yesterday hinting that former ESPN anal analyst Steve Phillips may be facing "bleak job prospects" when he attempts to claw his way back into the sports world. It took some long...
State of Cleveland Browns succinctly summed up in one single picture
3 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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When you can bench press an entire family of uncooperative hippos but look like this when you play football, you are most likely the quarterback of Eric Mangini's Cleveland Browns.
Ghost of Christmas Past fined $250,000 for flipping double-barrel bird
4 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Bud Adams Gives the Finger at Game, Fined $250,000 [Gather.com]
Jets and Raider fans finally joust without knives, successfully dispel fanbase stereotypes
4 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Jets-Raiders Chick Fight Because Of The Face Kick [Busted Coverage]
Catching Up With Jimmy Clausen
4 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Last year we had the chance to sit down and chat with Notre Dame's Jimmy Clausen, but after a quick start to the 2009 season and some early Heisman hype, we were forced to take a number on our follow-up...
Bill Belichick literally melts down in Indianapolis
5 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Not since catching Charlie Weis with ice packs under each of his tits has Bill Belichick appeared so regretful and horrified.
Matt Millen's football announcing wizardry overshadowed by bashful pinky
7 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Hornets fire Scott, name Overweight Sargent Slaughter Businessman as replacement
8 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Hornets fire coach Byron Scott, GM Bower assumes duties [USA Today]
Report: No one gives a ****
8 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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That'll be enough there, Seabass. Time to go play paddycake with the One Man Gang's tits.
ESPN's latest poll finally solves heated Gold Glove debate
9 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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While "A lot" and "A little" are both intriguing, punchy answers, we think "Kind of, but sometimes yup not really, nah" deftly captures the spirit of the progressively retarded Gold Glove award. Are Gold Gloves Meaningless Awards? [ESPN]
Captivating GM meetings just moments away from breaking into AL vs. NL tickle fight
9 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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ESPNBoston's Chris Forsberg hoping to cheer up some time soon
10 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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According to our sources, this photograph was taken shortly after Forsberg received his diploma from Paul Bearer's School for Morbid Morticians. Chris Forsberg [ESPNBoston]
ESPN continues valiant, relentless quest for actual sports news
10 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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Eli Manning chooses odd time to ride invisible motorcycle
11 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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While an entire fanbase finds itself completely miserable today, Lloyd Christmas remains proud.
Just in case your eyes haven't yet been ruined by the Latino Dracula-Joker-Lizard
11 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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No, no, this is not a haunted wax figure, this is really Sammy Sosa.
Yankees take record 16 hours to become painfully insufferable World Champions
14 days ago by
Sports Hernia
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We're guessing you're already violently clenching a pair of pliers as part of a disturbing plot to rip out Girardi's braces. In a fitting, annoying twist, you'll need to take a number. Girardi likely to up ante with uniform switch...
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