Sports Hernia: Latest Stories

New York Post predictably eases into World Series coverage

October 27, 2009 by Sports Hernia

The second sentence of the article that goes with the Victorino photoshop job goes like this: "The Yankees are going to make Philly cream cheese out of them," a confident Tommy Bayoikos, 44, predicted yesterday in Midtown. Tommy, if it...

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NY Rangers Legend Ron Duguay...

October 26, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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...is an actual man-rooster ...is one of 3 men on Earth capable of doing sign language with his chest hair ...is wondering why he dressed up for a hockey show, no one is watching this ...should be on Melrose Place...

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Heroic member of Raider Nation spotted with Randy Hanson's forearm

October 26, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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The rest of Randy Hanson is reportedly being held in a carbon chamber overseen by Jabba the Cable, Darth Raider and a merry gang of devoted misfits.

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Mark Sanchez sneaks a weenie in riveting showdown with Raiders

October 25, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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CBS cameras also spotted, not necessarily caught, Tom Cable on the sideline shoving multiple weenies into a blender, as the innovative head coach chugged bottomless hot dog milkshakes throughout the entirety of his team's latest 93-point loss.

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Steve Phillips: Through The Years

October 23, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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1993 - Doctors catch Steve Phillips porking shlubby nurse during delivery of first child. 1994 - Phillips delivers sandwich to new secretary with wang placed firmly between two slices of bread. 1996 - Phillips replaces all pictures of hot dogs...

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Reminder: Stephen Jackson still crazy

October 23, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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On the positive side of things, it appears he's finally enjoying the smell of that pesky, determined fart.

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WFAN to install stripper pole to keep Mike Francesa awake

October 22, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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On that stripper pole would of course be Jabba the Hut's pal, Salacious Crumb. [h/t: TheMikeFrancesa]

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Jim Zorn to coach from stadium parking lots

October 22, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn will coach from the parking lots of NFL stadiums for the remainder of the season. The decision is the latest passive-aggressive move by Daniel Snyder to force Zorn to resign. After taking away Zorn's...

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The Sports Hernia Show - Episode 7

October 22, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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This week's installment of The Sports Hernia Show dives headfirst into the nationwide deflating Jets erection, the mysteries of Connecticut and Pat Sajak's hair, breaking down the Chargers' offense with uncanny accuracy, and the passing of one of the greatest...

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Brooke Hundley ironically reaches "scorching hot" status in Google Trends

October 21, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Without question, the most irritating trend among today's top 10 is all the annoyingly presumptuous Yankee fans at No. 6. [Lots of Brooke Hundley right here.]

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Breaking: ESPN suspends Steve Phillips following affair with Kevin Gogan

October 21, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Baseball analyst Steve Phillips has been suspended by ESPN following word of a heated fling with production assistant Brooke Hundley, playfully known as Kevin Gogan. According to police, after being dumped, Hundley taunted Phillips' wife with Swimfan-like phone calls reportedly...

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Mike Francesa would like you to know it's the second inning

October 20, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Moments after the incident, producers frantically rushed to Big Mikey's side and fed him chocolate covered big wheel. [h/t: TheMikeFrancesa]

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America's Most Liked Athletes list finally released

October 19, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Forbes magazine recently released a list of America's Most Liked Athletes. In short, it's weird. Here's our take: Shawn Johnson Gymnastics Percentage Like: 75% People see her as: Someone who’s life story will be played by that annoying Hayden Panettiere...

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David Beckham's unfortunate transformation into that weird dude from Limp Bizkit

October 16, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Cousin Eddie's shoes spotted in Phillies dugout

October 15, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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It's a bit puzzling at first, but if you think about it, the story adds up. You see kids, Charlie Manuel is from West Virginia. There's a very good chance that Cousin Eddie, following his Christmas vacation at Clark's house,...

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Gustavo Johnson calls Honduras soccer game

October 15, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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Gustavo Johnson, who is clearly the Latino cousin of Gus Johnson, thankfully had the call last night in the Honduras-El Salvador game and was separately watching when the U.S. tied it against Costa Rica, which put Honduras in the World...

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Mad Dog Russo valiantly winning the war of the flab

October 15, 2009 by Sports Hernia

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If Russo shaves off his Alf hair wisp, he widens the gap on big Mikey and his flapjack tits by an additional 12 pounds. Mad Dog fondled by Mr. Sulu... [Sports Talk Bash]

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