LATEST STORIES FROM SPORTSTSAR

2011-2012 Biased Bowl Season Picks!

You got tired of waiting for ST's bowl picks, and Nick Saban did too. When it comes to watching college football, I’m not going to lie. I don’t watch every game. Not even close. Do you know how many games there are? Millions* (*There are not actually a million college football games per season) So the best I can do is just give you quick rapid fire judgements of who I think...
Via SportsTsar  |  December 12, 2011
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The Apple Won’t Fall Too Far From The Tree

Apple changed the way phones are made. The Miami Heat are changing the way we make basketball teams. Every year, Apple comes out with a new product, a new something. There’s certain factors associated with the event that occur without fail, every time. They’re as followed: 1) In the weeks, and sometimes months, leading up to the event, the 24 hour news cycle covers hundreds...
Via SportsTsar  |  December 07, 2011
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2011 NCAA Bowl Season Preview

Where Every Game Matters*! For those who haven’t noticed, this evening we were met with the first sign of the holiday season. No, not snowfall on the ground, or holiday cups at Starbucks! The American Institution that is the ESPN COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES COUNTDOWN SELECTION SHOW PRESENTED BY ALLSTATE INSURANCE! For those who were too busy to watch, here’s a...
Via SportsTsar  |  December 05, 2011
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LAST COMIC SANSING

How To Replace Your Burnt LeBron Jersey

Does the name LeBron James on a Miami Heat jersey look odd? Would anyone ever actually buy a Chicago Bulls jersey featuring Carlos Boozer? Not sure which new NBA jersey to buy now that the big flurry of superstar movement has ended? Well, if you just became a Cleveland Cavaliers fan thanks to owner Dan GIlbert, look no further than this: The only thing topping...
Via SportsTsar  |  July 08, 2010
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We Want Tacos

For the uninitiated, the Los Angeles Lakers have a promotion where if they win the game and score over 100 points, everyone in attendance gets a coupon for 2 free Jack in the Box tacos. On the surface, they’re really nothing special. Just 2 greasy, meat imitation tacos stuffed with a slice of cheese and hot sauce. Retail value: 99 cents. As the Lakers inch closer to a victory...
Via SportsTsar  |  June 04, 2010
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We Want Tacos

For the uninitiated, the Los Angeles Lakers have a promotion where if they win the game and score over 100 points, everyone in attendance gets a coupon for 2 free Jack in the Box tacos. On the surface, they’re really nothing special. Just 2 greasy, meat imitation tacos stuffed with a slice of cheese and hot sauce. Retail value: 99 cents. As the Lakers inch closer to a victory...
Via SportsTsar  |  June 04, 2010
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LOLtsar: Jim Joyce Is Not To Blame

The baseball-loving world is in an uproar over Armando Galarraga‘s perfect game being taken away by a bad call by umpire Jim Joyce. Yes, Joyce had it in his power to end it then and there, and the replays certainly prove that. But at the same time, what was shortstop Jason Donald doing busting his ass at that point of the game? While some may commend such hustle, I call it being...
Via SportsTsar  |  June 02, 2010
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LOLtsar: Jim Joyce Is Not To Blame

The baseball-loving world is in an uproar over Armando Galarraga’s perfect game being taken away by a bad call by umpire Jim Joyce. Yes, Joyce had it in his power to end it then and there, and the replays certainly prove that. But at the same time, what was shortstop Jason Donald doing busting his ass at that point of the game? While some may commend such hustle, I call it...
Via SportsTsar  |  June 02, 2010
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Tsarist Garb: The Colors of the 2010 World Cup

The 2010 World Cup in South Africa is quickly approaching, and you might wanna think about gearing up. There are plenty of jerseys to be had, and plenty more to be won if you check out this Free Jerseys for Life contest. You even get $10 off a purchase to boot. Anywho, here are a few of my favorite jerseys that you’ll see this summer: Argentina If it’s good enough for Lionel...
Via SportsTsar  |  February 12, 2010
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Tsarist Garb: The Colors of the 2010 World Cup

The 2010 World Cup in South Africa is quickly approaching, and you might wanna think about gearing up. There are plenty of jerseys to be had, and plenty more to be won if you check out this Free Jerseys for Life contest. You even get $10 off a purchase to boot. Anywho, here are a few of [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  February 12, 2010
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No Reason To Panic Thanks To Stefan Fatsis

The NFL season has come and gone, and I am happy to say that I enjoyed this one more than any other in the past. It was not only because I cheered on a new team, but it was because I understood and appreciated the game so much more than I did before. For that, I can at least partially thank A Few Seconds of Panic by Stefan Fatsis. You can practically hear a hamstring rip Fatsis got...
Via SportsTsar  |  February 11, 2010
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No Reason To Panic Thanks To Stefan Fatsis

The NFL season has come and gone, and I am happy to say that I enjoyed this one more than any other in the past. It was not only because I cheered on a new team, but it was because I understood and appreciated the game so much more than I did before. For that, [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  February 11, 2010
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Jordan Farmar Traded For Barack Obama

As the Los Angeles Lakers visited the White House yesterday, a press conference was also held to announce the acquisition of President Barack Obama for Jordan Farmar and Adam Morrison’s expiring contact (we are in a recession, after all).   Kobe Bryant was ecstatic about the backcourt help acquired for him. Said Bryant, “President Obama has the [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  January 26, 2010
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Rex Ryan Is Hungry

Here is my hungover Saturday morning attempt at a piece of pop culture street art, as requested by Puck Daddy. If I don’t even get a retweet out of this, I will be indescribably irate over the extra sleep I gave up to attempt to make this happen: By some odd stroke of luck, Rex Ryan has taken his New York Jets all the way to the AFC Championship game. You can just tell he’s...
Via SportsTsar  |  January 23, 2010
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Rex Ryan Is Hungry

Here is my hungover Saturday morning attempt at a piece of pop culture street art, as requested by Puck Daddy. If I don’t even get a retweet out of this, I will be indescribably irate over the extra sleep I gave up to attempt to make this happen: By some odd stroke of luck, Rex Ryan [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  January 23, 2010
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Tsarist Garb: BUCK FOSTON

Hi! Billy Mays Sports Tsar here with a product that’s going to change your life! Do you like the Los Angeles Lakers? Better yet, do you just hate the Boston Celtics? The answer to the latter should be a resounding YES! Everybody from outside New England rightfully despises anything inside, on account of the wicked hard [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  January 22, 2010
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NHL 10 PS3 Trophy and Xbox 360 Achievement Guide

Here is a list of all available PS3 trophies/Xbox 360 achievements for NHL 10. They are identical tasks to complete, with the only difference between the two consoles being the assignment of a Bronze/Silver/Gold/Platinum trophy for PS3 and various Gamerscore points on the 360. If you wanna know which are Gold or whatever or how [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  January 18, 2010
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Tsarist Garb: The Caped Crusaders of New Orleans

WHO DAT? WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS? Yes, that phrase is still considered English, and it is the rallying cry of freshly minted undefeated juggernauts, the New Orleans Saints. The Saints are legit. With my fantasy football boyfriend Drew Brees leading the charge accompanied by a beastly running attack and inspired defense, this could [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  November 13, 2009
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Athlete Thriller Dance Interpretations

Reenactments of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video have long made waves on the web. Lately, athletes have been getting in on the act as well. Although this is slightly late for Halloween, here are five athlete “Thriller” dance interpretations: Villanova Men’s Basketball Team The 2009 Villanova men’s basketball team kicked off their...
Via SportsTsar  |  November 03, 2009
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Philly’s Pen Is Mightier In Game 1 Of NLCS

If you happened to cruise by ESPN.com earlier this afternoon, you would have been subject to this sheer brilliance of a headline promoting the Philadelphia Phillies against the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 1 of the NLCS: Yes, we get it. You’re talking about the bullpens. And yes, they proved critical in the game, as George [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  October 16, 2009
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Tsarist Garb: Don’t Tread On Me

Feeling patriotic? You damn well better be, cuz our boys on the U.S. Men’s National Team sit atop the qualifying tables and are poised to make a splash in next summer’s 2010 World Cup in South Africa. We are currently witnessing the emergence of a soccer power. With Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, Jozy Altidore, and Charlie [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  September 18, 2009
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Tsarist Garb: Don’t Treat On Me

Feeling patriotic? You damn well better be, cuz our boys on the U.S. Men’s National Team sit atop the qualifying tables and are poised to make a splash in next summer’s 2010 World Cup in South Africa. We are currently witnessing the emergence of a soccer power. With Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, Jozy Altidore, and Charlie [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  September 18, 2009
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Revised Serena Williams Book To Appear On Shelves

Serena Williams recently ran into some trouble after advancing into the U.S. Open semifinals against Kim Clijsters. Being two points from elimination in the second set, Serena double faulted and unleashed a tirade upon the line judge that ruled the foot fault, vowing to take the ball and shove it down her throat (to put [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  September 17, 2009
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LeBron 2010: The Year We Make Contract

From the makers of the timeless 2001: A James Odyssey comes an epic sequel the likes of which the NBA offseason has never seen – LeBron 2010: The Year We Make Contract. Seven years after appeasing his native state, LeBron James may aim to take his mission of winning an NBA championship becoming obscenely wealthy to [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  September 15, 2009
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English Premier League Preview – 9/12/09

Gather round, grab a pint, and enjoy some first-class football from over the pond. Here’s a look into the upcoming English Premier League fixtures for September 12-13: Liverpool v Burnley I want to write something cynical about Liverpool and their ineffectual displays so far, but it’s already been done from pillar to post. It’s trendy to write [...]
Via SportsTsar  |  September 11, 2009
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