LATEST STORIES FROM SURVIVING GRADY
The Line-Up That Wasn't There
August 14, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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There are two great axioms in baseball. One is, "When Julian Tavarez asks you if you'd like to see his pet snake Armando, never answer in the affirmative." The other and perhaps more famous one is, "Good pitching beats good hitting." Yesterday, Justin Verlander...
Lunch Time With Remy
August 13, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Actually, it'll be more like lunch time with Buchholz, as the young hurler takes the hill against Justin Verlander. But we do have a brief clip from yesterday's Remyfest in the NESN booth, in which Remdawg thanks the fans for their support, and gives Eck some good-natured jabs...
To Paraphrase the Great .38 Special,We Want You Back Where You Belong, Remdawg
August 13, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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There wasn't much more I could have asked from Tuesday night's game, but it turns out I missed the triumphant return of Remy to the NESN booth by one night. Either way, once the Dawg showed up, someone should have called down to the visitor's clubhouse and just told the...
And Starring Kevin Youkilis as the Rampaging Rhino
August 12, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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As I have long been suspected of not actually existing, a theory several people (including certain ex-girlfriends, SG commenters and Denton) continue to perpetuate, I felt an unusually healthy rush of adrenaline as I headed off to last night’s game at Fenway, where I watched the...
A Visit Long Overdue
August 11, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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The Sox and Tigers had been trading beanballs since last night's game. When Rick Porcello plunked Youk with the first pitch of the second inning, Youk had finally had enough. He immediately bull-rushed the mound and tackled Porcello, inciting a benches-clearing dust-up. He and...
I Remember Winning
August 11, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Thunderclaps of applause spilling across the Fens and down the Pike. Jubilant drunks high-fiving strangers in the streets. Pretty girls in their Sox caps smiling for the camera. Our boys jogging off the field with hands held high. Miss Heidi poised by the home team dugout, microphone...
Where The Grass Is Green And The Girls Are Pretty
August 10, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Yesterday morning, in offices all across New England, belts and ties were being confiscated and all letter openers, scissors and hole-punchers were securely locked away. Because the end was here and nobody likes having a corpse in the next cube over. On August 10th, the Yankees had...
Put Away the Foam Finger and Papelbon Puppet: New York Media Declares the 2009 Season Officially Over
August 10, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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It's okay to admit that you felt it, even for a few brief moments. When Victor Martinez went yard in the eighth last night, I had a brief flashback to some of that 2004 magic, when nothing was impossible and no game was out of reach, no matter how dire the circumstance. In fact...
Shades of 2006
August 09, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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On August 17, 2006 the Sox were a game-and-a-half out of first in the AL East. The next day, a 5-game showdown with the first-place Yankees began. When the dust settled and the wounds were still fresh the Sox were six-and-a-half out and on a downward spiral that would eventually land...
And The Hits Just Keep On Not Coming
August 09, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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The Sox' offense has now pulled a pretty convincing Jimmy Hoffa for twenty-four consecutive innings, disappearing without a trace and leaving no indication that it's coming back anytime soon. It certainly didn't show any signs of a pulse during yesterday's loss to the...
AUTOMOBILE?!?
August 08, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Day late and a dollar short, but RIP John Hughes, who gave us cinema's greatest line ever:"Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes. No, he's not retarded."You got better? Leave it in the comments.
Untitled
August 08, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Okay, this was the post in which I was gonna reflect wistfully on last night's trainwreck of a loss. But, honestly, I've got nothin' more to say. It was what it was: A thriller of a game that ended in the most sucktacular fashion imaginable. But the fact is, we can still...
Six Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back
August 08, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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That was the best game and the worst loss of the season. Crushing not just because it ate up over 5 and a half hours of valuable drinkin' time, but also because it was an epic squander of a positively super-human performance by Josh Beckett. But these days, our offense is essentially...
Red Sox Brass Read My Post, Send Smoltz to Moon; Commander Kick Ass Ready to Kick Ass
August 07, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Well, someone at Red Sox HQ heard my last post, as Smoltz was DFA'd this afternoon. Hey, it would have been a great story if it all worked out. But it didn't. So we wish him the best of luck.Now we turn our attention to weightier matters: tonight's game. The problem with...
Please Send John Smoltz to the Moon Until October
August 07, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Or Mars. Or some small town outside Dubuque. Or that underground society where the mutants worshipped an atomic bomb in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Or the bullpen. Some place where he can do no harm, keep his game by tossing mop-up duty, and save whatever awesome might be left...
Mark Teixeira's Got Nothing on Little Joey Schmidt and His Accordian of Terror
August 06, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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You know the drill, Red Sox. Until you break the losing streak, I keep posting the vid:
You Supply the Win, Baby, We'll Supply the Love
August 06, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Okay. We've dropped two to the Rays. We're back in the Bronx. Time for a win.And I'm talking a real thunderclap of a win. Something that crushes their spirits, sends Joba Chamberlain off on a late-night bender and inspires mild looting and rioting in the streets of New...
I Wonder...
August 06, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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...if Papi's gonna hear it from the New York crowd.Ah, probably not.Also, get yer World Series tickets now.
Time to Up the Meds, Red Sox
August 05, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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What is it about stepping into the Trop that turns the Sox from Spider-Man to Peter Parker? From Red Bull to warm Ovaltine? From Led Zep to Ratt? Last night, we dropped yet another game to the Rays, and didn't look very pretty doing it. So now we stand two and a half games behind...
Here We Go Again
August 05, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Folks, I don't ask for much. I'm a man of simple means, with simple dreams and simple desires. I just want to see Brad Penny throw the game of his career tonight against the Rays. And, hey, if Evan Longoria happens to get taken out by a pack of talking gorillas on horseback...
Next Time, Just Kick Me in the Nuts
August 05, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Seriously, Red Sox. All of you. Just show up, give me the quick cleat-to-sack, then head back to your mansions and 18 year-old girlfriends. Sure, it'll hurt. But the pain will be sharp, fast and furious, which I'd prefer to that slow water torture of a game last night against...
Anger Time!
August 04, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Tonight begins a whirlwind tour of duty against our most bitter AL East rivals, the Rays and Yanks. And on the heels of our four game win streak against the dregs of the division, these upcoming series will show us, quite clearly, whether the 2009 Sox have got the stuff to compete...
The Tao Of Beard
August 04, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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The Beard has no beginning, the Beard has no end, it just is.The Beard is everywhere, yet nowhere, it is the ultimate paradox.The Beard has many shapes, yet is shapeless.The Beard seeks understanding but cannot be understood.The Beard is all powerful and empowers He Who Wears It.Kevin...
The "our starting pitcher sucks just a little less than your starting pitcher" Strategy Pays Off Again
August 02, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Think for just a minute about this weekend's sweep of the Orioles. John Smoltz starts Friday's game with a 7.04 ERA. He ends up raising his ERA to 7.12 in just six innings and has the audacity to hit the showers with a win.Yesterday, Clay Buchholz, the great white hope of...
The Anti-Smoltz
August 02, 2009 by
Surviving Grady
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Josh Beckett is the textbook "ace" pitcher. By the numbers, look what he's done:Averages just under seven innings per startThree complete gamesERA of 2.28 since the first month of the seasonSeven starts with 0 earned runs39 walks in 143 inningsHe keeps the team in every...
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Surviving Grady
A diary of unhealthy Red Sox obsession. Where espn.com meets mcsweeneys.net. Or something like that.
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