LATEST STORIES FROM THE BIG PICTURE
Nothing happened in sports yesterday so let's talk about movies
July 16, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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About a month ago we mentioned starting a new series all about movies. We haven't written about movies since. Guess that was an empty promise.But we stopped in a Blockbuster yesterday and, by golly, THERE IS NOTHING TO ******* RENT. LOOK AT THE MOVIES WE HAD THE CHANCE TO GET:...
Nothing happened in sports yesterday so let's talk about movies
July 16, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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About a month ago we mentioned starting a new series all about movies. We haven't written about movies since. Guess that was an empty promise.But we stopped in a Blockbuster yesterday and, by golly, THERE IS NOTHING TO ******* RENT. LOOK AT THE MOVIES WE HAD THE CHANCE TO GET:...
That was a lovely rendition of "God Bless Amer..." WHOA! BOOBS! HOLY MACKEREL YOU COULD MOTOR-BOAT THOSE JUBBLIES!
July 15, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Who is Sara Evans and why have we never seen her jugs before?!?! We are in love with this singer, this artist, this goddess of passion!We have zero idea what her contribution to pop music is or why she belonged at last night's All-Star game, but holy toledo, we want to meet her...
That probably wasn't the All-Star week Albert Pujols had in mind
July 15, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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As the best player in baseball playing the All-Star Game in his home park, Albert Pujols and the St. Louis fans had to be disappointed with the stud first baseman's performance in both the Home Run Derby and the Game. These events were supposed to be about Pujols; the city'...
Morning Headlines: 2009 All-Star Game
July 15, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Most mornings, we'll lead off the day with some AM headlines -- but not your traditional ones. Rather we'll focus on one game or story and write headlines that are completely inconsequential and insignificant to the outcome of the game. We'll give a few examples and then...
I once had this 3-hour masturbation session
July 14, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Yeah, it was great. Those were like three very good hours. I could have been more productive or efficient or even given my ***** a rest, but I didn't and for three hours things were really nice.Meanwhile the Home Run Derby took about the same amount of time and nothing happened...
Morning Headlines: Home Run Derby
July 14, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Most mornings, we'll lead off the day with some AM headlines -- but not your traditional ones. Rather we'll focus on one game or story and write headlines that are completely inconsequential and insignificant to the outcome of the game. We'll give a few examples and then...
When Segways take over the world
July 13, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Gob Bluth is ******* terrific. In pretty much every way. He's funny, he's good looking and he treats women like ****. A total catch.And when you're Gob Bluth, why drive a car when a Segway would do?He's setting a trend that is slowly taking over the world. I saw some...
More evidence that the general public has no clue as to who should be an All-Star
July 10, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Yep, those are the numbers of 2009 All-Star. Eye-popping stats. We're especially impressed with the 99.4% owned in ESPN Fantasy Leagues (not really). But the .375 OBP is solid (not really). The Flyin' Hawaiian became the 33 member of the NL All-Star team after winning the fan...
The Good, the Bad and the Wicked Awful
July 09, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell...
We're busy with work and other stuff and...you don't care...BOOBS!
July 09, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Not much to write about and not much time to do it. But enjoy Rachel's eyes. And her hands. Nice fingers. And her hair is nice. And totally awesome tits.Full jerk material here.
"Good game, fellas. Nice win today...OWWWW, ****!"
July 08, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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You're Ryan Dempster, mediocre-to-good pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. It's been a tough season for you and the team. Your 5-5 record and 4.09 ERA is disappointing after an impressive 17-6 mark in 2008, and the team, expected to run away with the NL Central before the season...
Twittering during NFL games may be logistically challenging
July 08, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Pumped Chad Ochocinco plans to Twitter during games this upcoming season. That's sweeeeeeet! Stupid name, Chad 85, but cool you want to Tweet. You can tell us how you just got bumped off a slant route by Samari Rolle and continue to be a disappointing player in fantasy leagues...
**** You, Bee
July 08, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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**** You, Penguin is officially the funniest site in the history of humor. So we're going to copy it as much as possible -- but in a sports way. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you don't think this is funny, well, you suck and once let your dog lick...
No, no, no, yes, no, maybe two Long Islands, no, no, yes, three LIs, maybe but probably not
July 07, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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That's your National Champion Washington Huskies softball team on a beach surrounded by palm trees; so either they aren't in Seattle or they are in front of a green screen. Probably not in Seattle.Uncoached dug up some pictures of your National Champion Washington Huskies and...
Know the name Rodney Purvis
July 07, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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He's 15, is in eighth grade and is already being compared to Kentucky recruit John Wall who is thought to be the No. 1 pick in the 2010 NBA Draft. Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up...he's 15 and in eighth grade? Did he stay back? That's ******* old. There was a guy in our middle...
Know the name Rodney Purvis
July 07, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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He's 15, is in eighth grade and is already being compared to Kentucky recruit John Wall who is thought to be the No. 1 pick in the 2010 NBA Draft. Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up...he's 15 and in eighth grade? Did he stay back? That's ******* old. There was a guy in our middle...
Morning Headlines: Philadelphia hammers Cincinnati
July 07, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Most mornings, we'll lead off the day with some AM headlines -- but not your traditional ones. Rather we'll focus on one game or story and write headlines that are completely inconsequential and insignificant to the outcome of the game. We'll give a few examples and then...
A .240 average, 6 home runs, a stint on the DL and a kicked coke probem will make you an All-Star starter
July 06, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Josh Hamilton, folks. You're an overwhelming talent, get caught up in a world of addiction, kick the habit and have a strong season in your new home: now a perennial All-Star.Not that there's anything wrong with a good comeback. Everyone likes a heart-warming, feel-good story...
Morning Headlines: Federer wins Wimbeldon
July 06, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Most mornings, we'll lead off the day with some AM headlines -- but not your traditional ones. Rather we'll focus on one game or story and write headlines that are completely inconsequential and insignificant to the outcome of the game. We'll give a few examples and then...
An interview with Ricky Rubio
July 03, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Ricky Rubio, recently drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves, will reportedly remain in Spain to play for his DKV Joventut basketball team for the remaining two years of his contract rather than try to move to the NBA this season. It has nothing to do with Minnesota being cold and the...
Mark Sanchez autographs cocktailer's arm, no sex exchanged
July 02, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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A cocktail waitress at New York club, Marquee, sees Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez sitting at the bar, gets flush with excitement as she recognizes the city's hottest new celebrity and decides to savor the moment forever.So she does what any cocktail waitress at a swanky New York...
And this is why we really hate the Red Sox
July 02, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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We showed you what happened to Boston on Tuesday. That never happens to Boston. Boston does that to other teams.That was the type of loss that derails a series, a week, maybe even a season. That's brutal. Just brutal.So yesterday's 5-1 ninth-inning deficit could hardly have...
Hahahaha **** you, Boston!!! LMFAO!!! Nice game!!!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!
July 01, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! ========)) LOL!!!!Strong relief effort, bullpen!!!!!!! Way to go, Hideki Okajima!!!!!!!!! Solid effort, Jonathan Papelbon!!!!!!!!!!LMAO!!! LIMT!!!The Red Sox blew a 10-1 seventh-inning lead!!!!!!!!! I would commit Seppuku with a garden scythe if that...
Keep talking about your lucky underwear and they aren't going to be so lucky anymore
July 01, 2009 by
The Big Picture
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Atlanta's Jeff Francoeur has a pair of lucky underwear. They have turkeys on them. They were a gift from his wife for Thanksgiving. The Braves are 7-0 when Francoeur wears said briefs.You can read all about the outfielder's undergarments here.For ****'s sake, Jeff, DON...
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