LATEST STORIES FROM THE FUTON REPORT
Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson Wordmergery
January 10, 2008 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Merging two words that Webster never thought was Kosher to merge, a practice known as “wordmergery,” is good in small doses. (Read: only when I do it.) The Sporting News’ Steve Greenberg has taken wordmergery to a new level, crowning Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson...
No, That’s Not True
January 07, 2008 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
About ten minutes ago, ESPN’s Neil Everett called the highlights of the GMAC Bowl on SportsCenter, and they were kind enough to show the one favorable Falcon highlight — Roger Williams’ kickoff return for touchdown.
EXCEPT. During that particular highlight (loosely...
Get Your Clemens Chewable Vitamins
January 04, 2008 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
All right, so Roger Clemens’ denial of using the human growth hormone known as Winstrol has seamlessly turned into a story about B-12 vitamin injections. It’s a story that checks out, if you believe him.
♫ Roger Clemens kids ♫ 10 million balls … and shrinking...
No Brainer Poll Of The Night
December 29, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
ESPN.com’s nightly poll usually shouldn’t merit any sort of thought, but this particular poll was quite ridiculous.
Which quarterback would I want to start one game if I wanted to win? Between these two, the answer’s pretty easy. Give me Tom Brady to start that game...
The Playoffs Playoffs, And Batting Around
December 20, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
In case I didn’t mention these already, here’s some o’ my work over at BC Sports: an NCAA football playoff … playoff, as well as a Batting Around leading off with Tony Romo so that the common NFL fan, and Peter King, will read it.
Josh Cribbs Finds Loophole In Path To MAC QB Success
December 20, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Remember that whole “MAC cradle of quarterbacks” rage a few years ago? Just to update: Byron Leftwich, Chad Pennington, Charlie Frye, and Bruce Gradkowski are no longer starters in the NFL. Josh Harris and Omar Jacobs were implosive busts. Which really leaves Ben Roethlisberger...
This Year In BGSU Crimeblottery
December 20, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
I know. Less than two weeks in the year. Prepare for the onslaught of “Best Of” lists.
Matt Taibbi has an interesting rundown of all the crimes committed by athletes this year, deducing that overall it was a very dismal year for law abiding varsity scholars. Furthermore...
MACSploitation: Week 12 Results
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
See, the MAC has to make it crazy difficult in November to have preview and recap articles on Fridays and Mondays, when half the games are played on weekdays. I will not bow down to your ways, MAC commissioner Rick Chryst. I will survive. Hey hey.
Tuesday: Ball State 41, Toledo 20...
The Week The Nerds Took Over Las Vegas
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Guess like I should probably share on all those crazy shenanigans I was involved with Blogcritics Magazine last week at Blog World Expo. It may be difficult to believe, but the two days I spent in Las Vegas involved zero gambling or drinking. (Thankfully, the other Blogcritics more...
Greg Stempin Variety Hour Triumphantly Returns
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Born and bred in Harper Woods, Michigan, only to become a legend in University of Toledo basketball lore, Greg Stempin is still playing basketball over in Portugal. As he continues his quest to dominate Europe’s Ankle Bracelet in hoops, we back here in North America honor his...
A Photoshop That Would Make Martina Hingis Snortlaugh
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Okay, one more quick lil’ post to round out the “Photoshops that other people did which are better than mine” week.
This one’s courtesy of Something Awful, brought to my attention by Shaggy regarding tennis player Martina Hingis’ retirement stemming from...
BGSU Women Dropped From “Dropped From” List
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
(We could make a drinking game out of it: count how many times I preface a post with “I’m a week behind on this”)
I don’t expect BGSU women to be nearly as dominant as last year, having lost, oh, four starters and the Sixth Womanperson to graduation, nor did...
If You’re Not Yet Reading David Mazzotta’s NFL Column
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Then why not?
The Pats are ludicrous. Tom Brady could take the snap, leave the stadium, hop a plane, fly to L.A., impregnate four supermodels, fly back to the game and his line would still be holding the pocket. And they have the 49ers pick in the draft. That’s like Bill Gates...
In My Conquest To Protect Babies From Sharp Objects
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Flu Shots Pose Dangerous Poking Hazard For Children
MACsploitation: Week 10 Preview
December 07, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
Kind of a quiet week, with Kent State, NIU, CMU, and CMU all taking it slow this Saturday as they rest up for weekday games next week. And I quite apologize for never getting up MACsploitation results up from last week. I hope the A-Rodoshops more than compensated.
• Temple at...
Mud Hens Offer A-Rod Contract, Plaque ("And A Hot Plate!")
November 01, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
A hearty +1 to Dan Royer, Mud hens graphic designer, for not only getting paid to Photoshop, but coming up with Alex Rodriguez' Hall of Fame plaque should he choose to sign with the Toledo Mud Hens.
Paul Byrd's Gonna Tell You About Pornography
September 10, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
The Cleveland Indians pitcher is apparently keeping a journal of his road exploits, and it's real, dude. It's hardcore. It's unsweetened Paul Byrd, in a way you've never seen him before. And if you've never seen Paul Byrd before, then get ready for the ride of your life.
Wow, MLB Has A Delay Of Game Penalty
July 04, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
Twice in Tuesday night's game against the Detroit Tigers, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Rafael Betancourt's unusually long, frustrating windup invoked a normally dormant rule that one must throw the ball within 12 seconds if nobody's on base, or have it be called a ball...
Skip Bayless, Stop Talking About Taryne Mowatt Like That
June 28, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
When debating the ESPY winner for Best Female Athlete, I was all ready to begin lauding Arizona University softball pitcher Taryne Mowatt, for the obvious statistical and physical reasons. Then along comes Skip Bayless, saying what I was about to say, and then adding "and she...
Mike Conley, Jr. Is Vaguely Aware Of The Shift Key
June 22, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 12 comments
Yardbarker's own O.B. -- original blogger -- Mike Conley Jr. may be providing insight into his pre-draft days, but he's also revealing way too much about how much he uses grammar. Although this lack of capitalization should come as little shock. After all, he did receive one...
Mike Maroth's Weather Forecast: Chance Of Scattered Base Hits
June 21, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
The Detroit Tigers pitcher is living out one of his childhood dreams when his team goes to Atlanta to play the Braves this weekend. Tonight he'll give the weather report for the series on the Weather Channel. Hey, hope he doesn't get traded before that!
Flatter Your Girl By Asserting She Could Eat Two Dozen Hot Dogs
June 19, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
Sonya Thomas and Juliet Lee are two women, each weighing less than 110 pounds, who can eat over 25 hot dogs in 12 minutes. So I guess the assertion that "that girl can eat a lot of weiners" is no longer an insult on a woman's figure or loose morals. Rather, it's a compliment!
Now I Remember Why Ichiro Doesn't Like Cleveland
June 12, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| Comments
After the Indians almost came back from seven runs down to Seattle, something jogged my memory. In 2001, Ichiro and the Mariners blew a historic 12-run lead in the 7th inning and went on to lose perhaps a 117-win season. No wonder Ichiro wants to punch Ichiro in the face.
Soccer, Free Beer, And Intravenous Needles
June 06, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
Continuing the brilliance of sports marketing history, a Miami soccer team is offering free beer to all fans 21 and over that attend this week's home games. Oh, and on Saturday, they'll also have a blood drive outside the stadium. Just to be safe, I hear Darwin is gonna TiVo the NBA Finals.
Oddly Enough, Ohio State Apparel Is Dirt Cheap In Detroit
June 05, 2007 by
The Futon Report
| 1 comment
I took a picture of a t-shirt rack a Detroit Tigers souvenir store in downtown Detroit. Side-by-side they sold Ohio State and Michigan shirts. The UM shirts were full price, and the OSU shirts were 75 percent off. Whoever's idea it was to stock those shirts was probably relegated...
SITE INFORMATION
The Futon Report
Covering all things athletic, mainly around the Ohio and Michigan areas, with ventures into the nationwide cavalcade of sports news.
Related Yards
Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers
Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?
Join the Yardbarker Network (YBN) for more promotion, traffic, and money.
