LATEST STORIES FROM THE OFF-COLOR COMMENTATOR
Here's Poop in Your Eye
img<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_nqLKzV5Mj8s/SAQP2xQtblI/AAAAAAAA...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 20, 2008
Discuss
Someone Get This Man a Kielbasa
img<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_nqLKzV5Mj8s/R_4oa8lKYkI/AAAAAAAA...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 20, 2008
Medieval Behavior
I am embarrassed for America today.On Monday night, Orlando Magic forward Rashard Lewis took his family to Medieval Times. Some teenagers asked for his autograph. Eventually, more people crowded around. There was pushing and shoving. A fight broke out.This is either a statement about what horribly ra...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 10, 2008
Employee Number 9
Am I the only one who saw the Eliot Spitzer news, read the references to "Client 9" and immediately thought of Antoine Walker's old Employee Number 8 commercial?The tag line to that famous ad was: "I make baskets."I'm thinking the best way for Governor Spitzer to clear his own name is to make light o...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 08, 2008
This is the Dunk I Previously Referenced
I'm not sure that I could do this properly on a 7-foot hoop.
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 08, 2008
Don't Be Late
If you're going to a Cavs game anytime soon, you would be well-advised to make sure you're in your seat for the pre-game warmups.Last night against the Knicks (right before he went for 50, 8 and 10), LeBron threw down a vicious through the legs, off the glass, one-handed alley-oop dunk. Bruce the Int...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 08, 2008
Taking the Over
The other day in my rec league hoops game, I got the ball on a fast break and took off to shoot a lay-up. But right as I did, the only defender who was back put his head down and bull charged towards me like he was going to undercut me. Reflexively, I pulled up and shot the lay-up earlier than planne...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 08, 2008
Thank You for Your Patience
I am currently working off-site in the small mountain hamlet commonly known as "China," and due to technical difficulties have been attempting to dial up onto the Internet using a hollowed out yak skull, a pipe cleaner and two cans of silly string.I have just contacted tech support and hope to have t...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
April 08, 2008
Sounds Uncomfortable
"It stings me like a fissure in my ass."--Maury Ballstein, Balls Models"I have a fissure in my ass."--Kaz Matsui, Houston Astros
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
March 22, 2008
Who Want to Impersonate Mutombo?
Allow me to take this opportunity to say once more that if anyone can find footage of Dikembe Mutombo inhaling helium on Conan (which happened about eight years ago now), that person will be named Friend of the Blog for all eternity. And while that may not seem like it's worth much... well, it's actu...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
March 16, 2008
This Just Cleared My Sinuses
Not sure I've ever seen a throwdown quite like this. Can we get a special exemption for Deron Washington compete in this year's NBA dunk contest?
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
March 06, 2008
Putting the Wood Down
We Hawks fans have been reasonably patient (if incredibly angry at times) throughout the first half of this season, but yesterday's massive collapse to Portland was too much. As Atlanta Journal-Constitution beat writer Sekou Smith so accurately put it:"It's beyond foolish for the Hawks to think they ...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
March 05, 2008
Fatal Transaction
On Sunday morning, I picked up Richard Zednik in my fantasy hockey league.Later that evening, he got cut by a teammate's skate blade and almost died.To answer your first question, yes, I really am in a fantasy hockey league. My team, Hockules, has won the league title three years in a row, but has su...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
March 02, 2008
Welcome to the Next Level
This just changed the way I see roller skating, and Baron Davis, and basketball, forever.In a word: yes.
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 29, 2008
There's Been a Loss of Cabin Pressure
Bruce, I'm gonna need a fact check here: What's the worst case of airplane ear ever recorded?I think I may be making a run at the record. And what's strange is I haven't been on a plane in over a week.For a minute I was thinking that maybe this was my body's involuntary reaction to try to block out T...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 16, 2008
I Had theTamarind Duck for Dinner
Made me feel a bit sluggish.It would probably take a lot of tamarind duck to make Kenny George feel sluggish.He is a very tall man.If I meet him, I will ask him what it's like to have Tyler Hansbrough be your daddy.
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 15, 2008
Mustard Signed; Professor Plum Still Without a Contract
If you're a Falcons fan who has four really bad fantasy football teams (combined record of all teams, Falcons included: 8-27), there hasn't been much to cheer for this fall. In fact, if the devil himself (represented by diabolical guitarist Steve Vai in the movie Crossroads) approached you with a dea...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 12, 2008
Where Buzzkill Happens
Aside from the somewhat cruddy shooting percentage, very little has been disappointing about the Kevin Durant experience thus far in 2007-08.But there is something rather disappointing about this Kevin Durant commercial.Make no mistake, for about 23 of the 30 seconds it runs, this ad is great. The mu...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 05, 2008
Big Willie Style
I have no idea what prompted this, but I just now started thinking about Willie B., the silverback gorilla who lived at the Atlanta zoo from 1961 to 2000. Some things you may not have known about Willie B.:He was named after William Berry Hartsfield, the former mayor of Atlanta.He lived for 27 years ...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 04, 2008
Please Get This Man a Bandage
Today I overheard an elderly man directing his friend towards a nearby Duane Reade pharmacy. But thanks to a faulty synapse or some other minute malfunction of the brain, what he accidentally said was "Dwayne Wade."He corrected himself a moment later.As I walked away, I realized that this little verb...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
February 01, 2008
These Things Are So Irritating
As sports fans, we have very little trouble finding reasons to disagree.I like the Braves, you hate them.I would pay money to see the Hawks; you would pay money to see them contracted from the league.For some reason, you thought this was humorous. I did not. (And for the record, you are a sick bastar...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
January 30, 2008
Breaking News: Hank Aaron Congratulates Barry Bonds (Again)
Last night during its broadcast of the Braves-Phillies game, ESPN cut into the action with a mid-inning replay of the congratulatory speech that Hank Aaron made after Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run. The video and audio of Aaron was the only thing on the screen for about one minute of game acti...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
January 30, 2008
This Could Happen to You
For as long I can remember, I've always told people that my greatest fear in the world is going to prison. And I think we can all agree for obvious reasons that being locked up in the big house is a very frightening prospect.However, I was thinking about it recently and it dawned on me that I can con...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
January 30, 2008
Reunited
The notion of Chris Webber going back to the Warriors is really giving me the itch to dust off the Super NES and play some old school, high scoring, nauseatingly pixelated yet remarkably entertaining computerized hoops.NBA Live '95, anyone?
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
January 29, 2008
Do My (Red) Eyes Deceive Me? (Part II)
More fallout from the delirious overnight flight from Salt Lake City on which I spotted former NBA point guard Jay Williams and (most likely incorrectly) speculated that he might be coming to NY to work out for the Knicks:I just had a recollection that during the cab ride home from the airport, I hea...
Via The Off-Color Commentator
|
January 29, 2008
Related Yards
|
|
|
|
|
Today's Best Stuff |
For BloggersJoin the Yardbarker Network (YBN) for more promotion, traffic, and money. |
Company Info |
Help |
What is Yardbarker?Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond. |
