LATEST STORIES FROM THE PACKER RANTER

Meet Your Neighbor

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Won’t you be my neighbor? Hi, neighbor!In an effort to better understand what makes Packer fans tick in our Packer Neighborhood, I have come up with a list of questions that, in my humble opinion, will tell you everything you’ll ever need to know about the people behind the scenes...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

A Hypothetical

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Answer: Sorry for the buzzkill, friends, but it’s a trick question. That’s because the woodchuck, or marmota marmox, would never chuck any wood. Unfortunately, few people realize that this member of the Squirrel...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

Meet Everglade Gary and His (Elusive) Neighbor

I just back from Florida, and I would like to share a story about watching the debacle against Tampa Bay. Thankfully, I chose not to attend the game live. However, I did have the misfortune and enjoyment to watch the game with a gentleman named, Everglade Gary. Misfortune, as I was...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

For Your Consideration...

Have you ever noticed that after pretty much any play – good or bad – McCarthy’s nose is buried in his sweet, laminated, color-coded spreadsheets? He’s worse than those fantasy guys, who spend more time in laptops and cell phones checking for updates rather than watching the...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

Reading the Lost Art

If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, that doesn’t include raking leaves or going to see Jim Carrey’s A Christmas Carol a full 50 days before Christmas, might I suggest reading a book? No, it’s not pronounced boe-ock, it’s bOOk; it sounds like crook. Books are...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

Some Positives of the Game

Lambeau Men’s Room. Nothing against the giant metal splashy room-length pee troughs of yesteryear, but I really prefer a standard urinal. One of the best moves in the renovation. Only things missing were the #4 urinal cakes.Stadium View. The servers were fast, friendly and dressed...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/11...
 

Franklin's Halloween Excursion to Green Bay

7:34 Walk to coffee shop and grab a large light roast and bagel. "Go, Pack!" Comes from the teenage girl getting my coffee. It takes me two seconds to realize I have on a well-worn Packers cap. I smile and nod, and she gives me a fist bump. Nothing could have made my day...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Mad Case of the Runs

In 1st grade, my hyperactivity was fully unleashed for the first time ever. It was the highly anticipated Halloween at Valley View Elementary where we trick or treated throughout the school. My best friend Tanker (biggest kid in the class/3rd overall in school) dressed up as Ray Nitschke...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Corn Syrup? Check. Red food coloring? Check

Robert has posted a gracious invitation to the lovely Bikini Girls (which I heartily endorse), and I have an invitation of my own. I invite all Packer fans who are going to the game, tailgating, or simply walking by Brent Favre’s Steakhouse this weekend to deal with some misguided...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

We’ll Never Betray You

Dear Bikini Girls,Judging from your sign, I gather that you took #4’s departure as hard as anyone. You look so happy right now – if only there was a way to bottle that joy and sell it at Walmart for $9.99 per six pack, we’d all be rich. In the meantime, I think it’s time for...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Penalty Flag or Good Sportsmanship?

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The outrage about penalties needs to be put to rest. It has not been addressed by McCarthy during his tenure, and he evades questions with, “We’ll look into it.” He’s not fooling anyone into thinking he cares. There is simple explanation for the rash of yellow hankies tossed...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Quickie Makes the Team... and my Heart

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In only my 2nd Rant ever, I declared Donald Driver my favorite player on the Packers. This has not changed one bit – in fact, with his recent achievement as the Packers all-time receptions leader, I like him even more than ever right now. I can’t decide whether he is the Ron Popeil...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Zombies, woo-hooo!

In honor of Halloween approaching, I would like to talk about zombie movies and how they relate to the Packers offense. Currently, there are two versions of the Packers’ offense, the Night of the Living Dead offense and the 28 Days Later offense. These two versions should coexist...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Meet the Thompsons!

So my cousin works for the Sears portrait studio in Ashwabenon as a photographer’s assistant. You know, change the backdrops, adjust the lights, wave a stuffed monkey to make the kids laugh, etc. And oh yeah, he also develops the photos and picked up this gem on Thursday. The other...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Meet the Thompsons!

So my cousin works for the Sears portrait studio in Ashwabenon as a photographer’s assistant. You know, change the backdrops, adjust the lights, wave a stuffed monkey to make the kids laugh, etc. And oh yeah, he also develops the photos and picked up this gem on Thursday.The other...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

He's Bringing Sexy Back...to GB

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If you’ve read The Ranter for awhile, you know that Robert and I have eschewed actual X’s and O’s analysis for a more…ummm…lighthearted approach to the Packers. That is not to say I don’t love the nuts and bolts of Packer football, and I think one of best spots to get it...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Trash Talkin' with Vikings Gab

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Once is a while before a big game, I’ll hit up some rival blogs and smack on their comments section. It’s usually pretty fun even if I only get a personal giggle or thrice out of it. After cracking his team, the editor of VikingsGab.com (and nice guy), Adam Warwas, offered me the...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/10...
 

Tell Me How You Really Feel

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Yes, I know how to Photoshop. No, I did not Photoshop this.With the unprecedented matchup now only a week away, all the Favretalk (that I’ve tried to avoid) will be everywhere. And so, to try and see where the public really stands on the man, I performed a routine Google search.As...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

The Alert Level is Green and Gold

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Packer fans, there is an enemy on the horizon far greater than any you have ever seen. This man is not a member of the Rams and most definitely not Adrian Peterson. Nay, this man is more dangerous than the evil love-child of Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, Norman Bates, Keyser Soze, and...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

Mother Untucker

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The prestigious Men’s Underwear Fitting Guide tells us that if your undershirt keeps untucking from your pants, “you probably need a smaller size undershirt.” In fact, MUFG believes an undershirt should be at least 3" longer than the top of your pants.Interesting, however...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

Meet Your Neighbor

Won’t you be my neighbor? Hi, neighbor!In an effort to better understand what makes Packers’ fans tick in our Packer Neighborhood, I have come up with a list of questions that, in my humble opinion, will tell you everything you’ll ever need to know about the people behind the...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

Aaron Finally Finishes

Aaron is neither loud nor OchoCinco obnoxious, but with this guy there is definitely confidence to spare. He’s got this cocky half-smile and indescribable swagger that does all the talking. Yes, he was the man in the college and yes, he has always gotten most of the babes around...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

Someone's Cousin, Perhaps?

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I know you may find it hard to believe, judging by picture to the left, but I firmly believe in alien life forms. Shocker, I know. On the other hand, you may also find it hard to believe I ate five kraut-smothered brats, a full package of Louie’s Meats Jalapeno Cheddar Stix, and...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

The Perfect Tailgate

To kick off the season, Franklin and I have put together our top 5 tips to help everyone's Lambeau tailgating adventures reach their full potential. We have a combined 50 years experience at over 350 Packer games, so you know our advice is a good as the award-winning sausage from...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 

Man On A Mission

Hans Steiniger may consider himself your average, moderately paid, tailgating, beer-guzzling, NFL-loving American male, but he is anything but your ordinary football fan. This guy decided to celebrate his birthday a couple years back by embarking on a quest that would take him to every...
>> www.packerranter.com/2009/09...
 
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