LATEST STORIES FROM THE PACKER RANTER
Summer Rubber Had Me a Blast
Some things are not easy to admit.Like the time I soiled my pants very badly in junior high after eating a moldy bologna sammy on a triple-dog-dare.Or the day my mom walked in on me kissing a mirror when I was seven (it was practice for the big game someday hopefully with Greta Heinemann).However, the summer when I was five became more than just an embarrassing moment, it was a season...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 23, 2010
Discuss
The List: Item #63
As we have gotten older, Robert and I have become more responsible, especially in regards to our tailgating experiences. Our initial forays into tailgating were successful, if Spartan. We would get to the parking lot with the barest essentials, but invariably would have forgotten a key component: kraut, or buns, or spicy brown mustard, or a bottle opener. Lucky for us, tailgating...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 19, 2010
Once Upon a Pie
Every industry has its peak season. For those in the business of making pizza pies in the US of A, it coincides with the NFL season. During those four months, you can expect to generate 2/3 of your revenue for the year. If you’ve worked it, you know it’s as chaotic as it gets and definitely not for those who like to dilly dally/fiddle faddle/lolly gag. But if you can somehow...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 15, 2010
The Ranter Needs Your Help!
Some people (especially radio guys it seems) hate it when you ask them, gently suggest, or flat out tell them what to talk about. Here at the Ranter, we take no such stance. We like to think of ourselves as a collective, a commune if you will. We take suggestions, we take questions, and sometimes we’ll even take direct orders, usually not without a snarky comment, but we’ll still...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 11, 2010
G-Men Origins: Iron Thigh
Born Masonathan Gargomel Crosby IV, he is a G-Men specialist and socialite playboy whose right leg was engineered into a high-powered bionic weapon known as Iron Thigh.As a teenager, Mason’s young thigh showed promise. It was girthier than the other boys and more defined as well. He routinely triumphed in Herculean-like challenges – the Texas leg press, the leg push-up, kick...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 04, 2010
With the 23rd Pick...
I was told at an early age that if you don’t toot your own horn, no one else will. So here I go. I read Don Banks’ first mock draft last week, and I was pleasantly surprised by his excellent choice for the Packers at #23. He went with Maryland junior offensive tackle, Bruce Campbell. Here’s my toot. I liked this pick a couple weeks before Banks did. Ha! …and most of you think...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
February 01, 2010
G-Men Origins: Lion King
Lion King is a member of the family Secondarie where males reach upwards of 14 stone. Visually, Lion King is highly distinctive and easily recognized by his Predator-like black mane. With uncanny speed and power to match, Lion King can easily take down prey of similar size or larger.After seeing limited battlefield action under the Elephant Seal (not to be confused with the Walrus...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 28, 2010
I Can Admit It
Looks like Lony got his wish.I was incredibly ambivalent last year when Favre was in New York. It didn’t bother me, and it didn’t instill any emotions whatsoever. However, put Favre in my front yard wearing purple, and I was forced to feel something. My feeling amounted to raging disgust, and an even greater hatred for the Vikings than I already had. I know, I know, I didn...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 25, 2010
G-Men Origins: Hawkman
Part Midwestern humanoid and part Broad-Winger, the Hawkman is known for his bulkish figure and attacking ferocity. Thought to be the reincarnation of an ancient Nordic prince, the Hawkman’s conspicuous long, blonde hair is reminiscent of a violent medieval warrior but also serves as a female attractor when not in combat.As a first-class graduate, the Hawkman was believed to have...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 19, 2010
Views from the Hillside.
Here you go Ranter fans, my season-ending Views from the Hillside. You may not want, but...you've got it. When you're as meat drunk on red meat as I am, your mind can't think longer than bullet points.Each year after the season is over, I go to the store, buy a big fat steak, grill it while drinking PBR tallboys, and then work my way through it. By the time I’m done...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 15, 2010
Green and Gold Samurai
Samurai. Got your attention?The warrior-elite of feudal Japan have become the stuff of legend. Known for their battlefield prowess, they were also scholars, poets, and prolific zen-gardeners (You can’t fight all the time; you need a place to tend to your wounds every now and then). They were known for their honor and respect of tradition, both within their own samurai culture and...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 07, 2010
Aaron Rodgers MVP? Not Even Close!
The one knock that somehow keeps coming up is that Aaron Rodgers’ personality is well, not as exciting as his play. Since his game appears to be borderline flawless, some Turdvilles have latched on to the fact that Rodgers tends to remain calm and level-headed despite every opportunity to completely lose control of his emotions. Like Tim Duncan or Albert Pujols, all Aaron Rodgers...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
January 04, 2010
Ryan Grant for Pro Bowl
I’m loving Ryan Grant and his 4.4 YPC (5.0 in December) right now and his 1200+ rushing yards and 10 TDs. And when I saw Adrian Peterson fumble away another ball (six now on the season) Monday night, I delighted in the fact that Ryan Grant has only one fumble all year. That was back in week two, btw.Through the first couple games of the year, there were stories suggesting Grant...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 29, 2009
Bookends Make a Great Gift
Merry Christmas, everyone!Spending my days in a library has made me realize the value of a good set of bookends. Their versatility is rarely noticed, but I have found many uses. They obviously are designed to hold up books, but they can be used as doorstops, DVD and video game holders for the less literary, and even aquariums. Flip them upside down, attach to a wall, set a piece...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 24, 2009
Pretty Sure I Could Do That
In my youth, I dreamed of being the next Jerry Rice or Walter Payton with some Lawrence Taylor thrown in (hey, it was the 80s and we sucked). It’s hard to say since I was unstoppable on both sides of the ball during recess. But as the playground got bigger, I got weeded out for guys that were bigger/stronger/faster and had the early puberty and the whatnot. Before I knew it, that...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 22, 2009
Sly, Bush, and "I Told You So"
There are two things people love: underdogs and being first.There’s an inherent inclination for humans to root for the underdog. Something in our wiring creates a need to witness people conquer overwhelming odds and stand on the field of battle victorious. This is true in life, and it particularly manifests itself in sport. Sylvester Stallone is a perfect example of both of these...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 20, 2009
Real Men Don't Drink Zima
First there was the Minister of Defense, and now there’s the Jolly Rancher.I just learned that the drink/drank/lean/sizzurp that Johnny Jolly is being indicted for (again) has a very simple recipe that starts with cough syrup and soda and ends with… wait for it… a Jolly Rancher.Because of the last ingredient, this is dangerously close to falling into a category of drinks that...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 17, 2009
Views from the Hillside
You’ve waited, and now it’s here, another installment of “Views from the Hillside". You haven’t been waiting? Oh well, maybe you didn’t know you were waiting, but your subconscious most definitely was. I usually throw one of these out when I can’t think of anything genius like this. The root cause often being a wicked hangover, but not this time. I’ve just had...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 14, 2009
Uncle Dale: Traveling Man
I’ve known my uncle Dale for a good 10 years now. He was MIA from the family following his divorce to the “she-beast” in the early 80s. He only communicated to Grandma a few times during that period and his letters all had different return addresses. Turns out Dale was felt he got married too early and wanted to find – and possibly reinvent – himself somewhere nobody knew...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 11, 2009
Summer in Shawano...Nevermore.
I used to know a Lenore when I was growing up. She lived in Cleveland, and she used to spend her summers in Shawano at her aunt and uncle’s lake house. Lenore was a HUGE Browns fan. Kind of funny, right? I used to tell her that same thing, but she wouldn’t listen. She had three Bernie Kosar jerseys, two Dawg masks, and a Jim Brown autographed football which she slept with at...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 07, 2009
Nerd Alert
This is a very rare and difficult thing for someone with such Packer pride, but this week I’d actually like to extend my praise to some of the Vikings players, notably the ones named Bernard Berrian, Percy Harvin, Adrian Peterson, Chester Taylor and Sidney Rice. These five purple-toting pigskinners comprise the elite group I have dubbed Penta Lambda.Let’s say you were playing...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
December 01, 2009
Anton Ego: "The food tastes better."
I wanted to revisit something that I read a couple weeks ago. The copious amounts of food I consumed on Thursday brought it back to mind. Following the Packers' domination of the Cowgirls, Mike McCarthy noted that there was a sign in the weight room that read: "The food tastes good again" during his November 18th press conference. On the surface this just looks like...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
November 28, 2009
Wild Turkey
The last few times the Packers have played the Lions on Thanksgiving, the games have been a little more than expected. But for the Greenfield’s, these particular days have been one for the books.Nov 22, 2001: GB 29, DET 27A Lions’ fourth quarter mad rally fell just short but the real story was that sister was bringing her boyfriend for Thanksgiving she was really high on so Grandma...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
November 23, 2009
A Hypothetical
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Answer: Sorry for the buzzkill, friends, but it’s a trick question. That’s because the woodchuck, or marmota marmox, would never chuck any wood. Unfortunately, few people realize that this member of the Squirrel Family is actually a vegetarian. They enjoy nibbling and gnawing on succulents like clover and...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
November 16, 2009
Meet Everglade Gary and His (Elusive) Neighbor
I just back from Florida, and I would like to share a story about watching the debacle against Tampa Bay. Thankfully, I chose not to attend the game live. However, I did have the misfortune and enjoyment to watch the game with a gentleman named, Everglade Gary. Misfortune, as I was supposed to take “Everglade Gary’s Kick Ass AirBoat Tour” and then be back to civilization in...
Via The Packer Ranter
|
November 12, 2009
Related Yards
|
|
|
|
|
Today's Best Stuff |
For BloggersJoin the Yardbarker Network (YBN) for more promotion, traffic, and money. |
Company Info |
Help |
What is Yardbarker?Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond. |
