LATEST STORIES FROM THE SPOILER

Bundesliga side demonstrate the correct way to celebrate defeat

Ach Mein Gott! Zis party rocks, ja! After finishing in ninth place in the Bundesliga, Bayer Leverkusen fell short of their target of reaching the prestigious Europa League by some way. Furthermore, the mid-table side compounded their league failure on Saturday, by losing the DFB-Pokal...
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Video: Amr Zaki needs six stitches in his face after goal celebration

Steve Bruce’s best friend perfects his mid-air faceplant technique With the FA Cup Final and the conclusion of several European major leagues happening over the weekend, somehow the tantalising friendly clash between the giants of Oman and the titans of Egypt escaped...
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WAG No. 343: Daniela Hantuchová

Did Slovakia’s finest sportslady enjoy a tryst with a Madrid star? Up until January, Real Madrid’s Wesley Sneijder was married to lovely Dutch lady Ramona Streekstra. The dissolution of their relationship and Sneijder’s subsequent €6m divorce payout may have...
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Kaka shuns Chelsea, Madrid ‘agree’ Alonso deal, Manchester City lead race for Tevez

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies Carlos Tevez to Manchester City The Daily Mirror believe the Argentinean will move to the blue side of Manchester, as the Citizens are willing to offer £32m and a helluva lot more first team football than their red counterparts...
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AC Milan’s transfer policy takes a radical new direction

The Post-Ancelotti Rossoneri target short, overweight talent This could be Leonardo’s first signing as Milan manager, or it might be part of Adidas’ Twelfth Man campaign. We’ll try to clear things up shortly. [Pies]
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Video: Guus Hiddink breaks the law while dancing with Roman Abramovich

Departing Blues boss celebrates with dancing and illegal activity Unencumbered by inhibition, Guus Hiddink celebrated his final game in charge of Chelsea by performing a merry little jig in the Wembley changing rooms. The Spoiler can’t help noticing that the Dutchman...
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Leonardo to officially replace Carlo Ancelotti as AC Milan Manager on Monday

Chelsea-bound manager’s boots have been filled Milanese newspaper La Gazzetta dello Sport and Spanish daily Marca are reporting that Brazilian World Cup winner Leonardo will be officially unveiled as the new manager of AC Milan on Monday. The 39-year-old - who played for Milan...
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Everything you need to know about the 2009 FA Cup Final

Chelsea/Everton, Saturday 3pm, ITV1, £25 no loss Bet The Big Four enjoyed a twelve year period of uninterrupted FA Cup dominance until last season, when Portsmouth gatecrashed the party. This year, the responsibility of ensuring the oldest football cup in the world stays out of the...
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Is this the worst football viral video ever?

Bent post ‘illusion’ isn’t fooling anyone As a result of the current economic situation, it appears Turkish energy bar manufacturer Metro have had to close their special effects department. Either that, or the Turks are happy to believe that Besiktas’...
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Liverpool target Wheater, Chelsea complete Zhirkov deal and Elen Rives’ €14m windfall

Also appearing on a computer near you… John Barnes, Pat Cash and Austin Powers Healey want you to buy Mars bars This is the kind of skateboarding we want to see [WithLeather] Spot the difference: Steven Gerrard’s kiss v Ryan Giggs’ kiss [Pies] Liverpool target Queen...
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WAG No. 342: Emma Kate Dawson

Gazza’s bagged himself a reet class Geordie lass like Putting his recent troubles behind him, Paul Gascoigne visited London’s Cafe de Paris earlier this week in order to celebrate his 42nd birthday. On his arm was Geordie glamour model Emma Kate Dawson, who at 22-years...
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Vote: Who will win the FA Cup?

Chelsea/Everton, Saturday 3pm, ITV1, BetUS soccer betting Die-hard Everton fan Wayne Rooney has reportedly snapped up 25 tickets FA Cup final tickets for his friends and family. This is great news for those selling beer and chips within the stadium, but not so great for the rest of...
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Drugs raid at Ryan Giggs’ mum’s house

Suspicious party discovered during Champions League Final Those who believe that illegal activity could not possibly occur in a £1.3m mock Tudor mansion purchased by a footballer are in for a shock: while watching  her son Ryan Giggs lose the Champions League Final in Rome in Wednesday...
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Chelsea target £20m Milan midfielder, Paul Scholes offered move to Stoke

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies… Andrea Pirlo to Chelsea It’s inevitable that Carlo Ancelotti will bring some Milanese talent to West London with him, and The Telegraph believe his first choice is girly-named midfielder Andrea Pirlo. AC will apparently...
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Picture: Cristiano Ronaldo in the new Manchester Utd 2009/10 home kit

Portuguese pictured in shirt he won’t wear next season There’s probably more chance of seeing Harry Redknapp in a tutu than Cristiano Ronaldo in a Manchester Utd shirt next season, but nevertheless, the picture above is claimed to be a legitimate leak from Nike’s...
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Probably the best homoerotic football commentary mash-up you’ll hear today

Some terribly childish fun with the Match of the Day team [Pies]
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Villa target Bentley, Juninho’s Teesside return and Germany’s Playboy training camp

Also appearing on a computer near you… Before you peruse today’s links, consider the all-important dancelfoor bro-to-ho ratio Cristiano Ronaldo is the Sexiest man Alive, say The Gay Times [The Sun] Juninho could return to Middlesbrough [Goal.com] A Playboy model...
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Cristiano Ronaldo poses with bikini model in new TV advert

Portuguese star tells us all about his favourite bank “Where am I going to be in three years?” asks Cristiano Ronaldo in this advert for Banco Espritio Santo., who are evidently the lucky institution the tricky winger has selected to deposit his mountains of cash...
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WAG No. 341: Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen

Try saying that name after a few lemonades Wesley Sneijder divorced his wife Ramona Streekstra in January, and hasn’t wasted any time in getting back in the game. Our girls at Kickette inform us that the Real Madrid striker has started seeing Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen. The...
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Real Madrid will sign Kaka next Thursday, will not pursue Arsene Wenger

Brazilian to complete move to Spain within a week… Florentino Perez will be formally installed as Real Madrid president on Monday, and will start shaking things up almost immediately. According to Spanish paper AS, Madrid will replace Juande Ramos with Villarreal manager Manuel...
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Vote: Has Cristiano Ronaldo played his last game for Manchester Utd?

C-Ron may feel a little too comfortable in that all-white strip Manchester Utd were so anonymous last night that even Cristiano Ronaldo had trouble picking out his teammates - either that, or he thought those constant 40-yard potshots were a good idea. Following his one man show,...
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Video: Barcelona/ Manchester United highlights

Classy Spaniards complete the treble in style Barcelona 2/ Manchester Utd 0 Manchester Utd’s dream season came to a disappointing end last night, but no one in the Red Devils camp can really complain: save for the first ten minutes, Barcelona and their re-hashed backline...
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Terry Venables makes a good call on the Cristiano Ronaldo vs Leo Messi debate

Former Barca boss is well aware of the Argentinian’s limitations Terry Venables, as quoted in yesterday’s Daily Mail: ‘If it does come down to Messi against Ronaldo, well, Messi is one of the best players in the world, but give me Ronaldo. Messi is wonderful on the...
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Can you guess who this former Man Utd and Barcelona star is?

Man who had lots of hair now has no hair Who’s the follically impaired chap pictured above?
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68 statistics about tonight’s Champions League final

Barcelona/Manchester Utd, 7.45pm, ITV1, £25 no loss Bet In celebration of tonight’s clash between the winners of the two best leagues in Europe, we’ve teamed up with Betfair to produce a Big Match Interactive Wizard. Check it out and you will discover no fewer than 68...
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