Like all sports analysts, I like to make predictions about what will happen each Sunday of the NFL season. While most predictions the so-called experts make are completely wrong once the games happen, and they move right along as if they never made them, I have no problem showing mine to the world.It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since I am the consummate...

Like all sports analysts, I like to make predictions about what will happen each Sunday of the NFL season. While most predictions the so-called experts make are completely wrong once the games happen, and they move right along as if they never made them, I have no problem showing mine to the world.It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since I am the consummate...

Greg Oden, sadly and reluctantly, announced today that he might not yet be unhealthy enough to start the upcoming NBA season in the Portland Trailblazers medical center. Oden revealed to the press that this offseason, he was unable to sustain an injury capable of letting him stay in the hospital and eat ice cream all day while watching soap operas."It's gonna be rough, not being...

It's been a crazy week, with the recent accusations of sexual harassment in the Jets locker room by Ines Sainz, the attractive sports reporter and former model from Mexico’s TV Azteca. Now Shelley Smith, one of ESPN’s most unattractive female reporters have come out in defense of the Jets and NFL players in general. “I seriously question the veracity of Ms. Sainz’s...

Indianapolis Colts defensive back Bob Sanders was injured yesterday during a routine exam by the doctors who were trying to assess the extent of his injuries from last Sunday's game. Sanders, who has yet to play a full NFL season, and has missed at least ten games in five of his six NFL seasons, tore a biceps muscle during the team's opener against the Houston Texans. "He's a great...

After the first Sunday of the NFL season had taken its course, fans woke up to find a rather odd set of standings for the NFC East. According to NFL.com, the Dallas Cowboys are listed as 0-2, while the Washington Redskins are listed as 0-0-1. This is rather odd because not only have the Cowboys only played one game – making their 0-2 rather odd – but the Redskins actually...

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Like all sports analysts, I like to make predictions about what will happen each Sunday of the NFL season. While most predictions the so-called experts make are completely wrong once the games happen, and they move right along as if they never made them, I have no problem showing mine to the world. It just so happens I forgot to post this before the games ran. But since...

Michael-Michelle Johnson found itself holding yet another U.S. Open championship cup above its head yesterday in Flushing Meadows. Johnson, who may be the most dominant athlete of any sport in history, claimed a 234th straight intergender tennis title, making even Roger Federer's accomplishments look tame.While the men's and women's divisions in tennis get most of the...

by Brett Lay The very picture of a somber mood is painted on the Steelers’ practice unit, as a light drizzle falls from the gray skies of this appropriately named “Steel City”, the sounds of pads popping and helmets clashing on the practice field not betraying the disappointment of one Troy Polamalu, the Steelers’ hard hitting Strong Safety. Polamalu sits...

Cincinnati Bengals owner Mike Brown wanted to come out and be up front about his team's priorities for this season after looking at the roster after training camp. "I know a lot of Bengals fans are going to be unhappy about the team we are putting out there for this season," said Brown in a press conference yesterday. "This is going to be a tough couple of months...

The Minnesota Vikings made it official today, inking veteran quarterback Brett Favre to his usual .4 year contract for the 2010 season. The deal is very good for Favre, who will be payed $12 million dollars for only being with the team from September through the end of December. The contract states that starting in January he is free to revert, as has become customary, from the...

The Washington Nationals announced in a conference call this morning that phenom rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg’s mutant right arm has lost its powers due to recent sunspot activity. Nationals GM Mike Rizzo said Strasburg realized there was a problem when he could no longer summon the powers of a Norse god of thunder to fling baseballs at his normal average speed of several...

The Los Angeles Dodgers phoned the Boston Red Sox today to tell them they finally pulled a prank equal to the one done to them 3 years ago when they got Manny Ramirezed. The Dodgers famously fell for a classic Manny Ramirez, one of the most popular juvenile pranks, when they took Manny off waivers from Boston in 2007. He went on to let minor injuries hamper his play until he finally...

The Associated Press came out with its Preseason Top 25 in college football yesterday morning and to the surprise of Fighting Irish fans everywhere, Notre Dame was nowhere to be seen. While the Irish are coming off of yet another disappointing season, many fans have high hopes for the upcoming season because of new coach Brian Kelly. “How can we not be ranked? Seven Heisman...

The Carolina Panthers announced today that the battle for the starting quarterback job during preseason has ended in a tie. Both incumbent Matt Moore and Jimmy Clausen both tried hard to overcome the other in a tense competition, but neither was able to make a case that they should be a starting QB in the NFL."These guys both gave it their all, but in the end both of them just...

It was a gruesome scene today in Denver as the Coors Light Love Train derailed and flew into the stands, killing 58 fans. It was a scorching hot summer day when the Denver Broncos hosted the Detroit Lions at Invesco Field. The crowd was seemingly not into the game due to the high heat index, as temperatures reached as high as 104 degrees. The home team would make...

Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren officially finalized their divorce today, nine months after he wrecked his car in the middle of the night and his serial infidelity was revealed to the world at large. In a joint statement released by the couple, they said: "We are amicably separating for the good of our children, and are ready to move forward with our lives. This will...

Tim Tebow today announced the opening of the brand new TimTebow.com today, a website with premium paid access for reporters and members of the media who just can't get enough of the Broncos QB. For only $19.99 per month, ESPN commentators and talk radio hosts can get a behind the scenes look at Tebow's most personal information, just in case there is no trivial Tebow...

Dustin Johnson has cancelled his family's trip to Miami Beach next week, afraid it may turn out to be another secret bunker. After grounding his club cost him a chance at the playoff at the PGA Championship over the weekend with a two-stroke penalty, he is taking no chances. After watching Bubba Watson and Martin Kaymer go on to compete in a playoff, he was noticeably skeptical...

News came out of Detroit this morning that head coach Jim Schwartz has been fired by the Lions after a blowout preseason loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers over the weekend. "This is it, season over. We suck again..." said team president Tom Lewand. "If there was one time where we were supposed to be able to be competitive, it was the preseason! But no, we can't...

There has long been a belief that to be on the cover of Madden each year results in either a horrible injury or an awful statistical season. The statistics speak for themselves. Marshall Faulk, Michael Vick, Shaun Alexander, and even last year's Troy Polamalu. All injured the year after appearing on the cover and have never been the same again. Every other athlete of the last...

by Nick Cafferky With every Madden game, there come several new features and mini-games that gamers can play in addition to the basic play. This year’s crop is the best in years as players get to see yet another dimension of being in the NFL. Conditioning Tests Mini-Game: In Franchise mode, force players to run and fail meaningless conditioning tests. For extra poits, leak...

The Oakland Raiders still could not come to an agreement with their fans today to get them to return this season. This marks week 2 of the holdout by all Raiders fans, who are demanding a new contract that guarantees the team will at least be competitive for at least a month into the season. The fans have said, if an agreement can't be reached, they want to be traded before the...

A team of scientists reveal the latest breakthrough in sports drinks: Xtreme Sports Milk. With an abundance of calcium and electrolytes, nothing powers you up in a the middle of a big sporting event like warm milk. We explore the flavors and view the first ad for this drink on a special report here on SportsComedian.com's SportsTime.