LATEST STORIES FROM THIRD BASE LINE (INFIELD'S BLOG!)
Signings, Both Real and Imaginary
When the Twins signed Jim Thome--who, believe it or not, has passed his physical--TBL was cautiously optimistic. He hasn't been at his best the past couple of seasons, but he's still Jim "Holy Crap, Lookit That Go" Thome. And, best of all, he won't be hitting against our pitchers anymore. (The evidence suggests that Thome will still be able to go yard off Twins pitching from...
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February 05, 2010
Discuss
Who'd'a Thunk It?
After the abyss o' despair that was the Toronto series, the sucking continued unabated through the seventh-inning stretch on Friday when---WHAM! BANG! BOOM! A week's worth of unused hitting (smuggled onto the field by one Jason Kubel) descended upon the unsuspecting Angels, hitherto possesors of a 9-4 lead.Kubel went 4-for-5 and hit for the cycle, including a lead-grabbing grand...
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April 21, 2009
Autumnal Knitting: Lotus Hat
This is an autumn hat I made based on the Crosshatch Lace stitch. I call it "Lotus Hat" because the decrease at the crown forms a lotus-like pattern, while the lace on the body looks rather like stems and leaves. I made it beanie-style, designed to only cover the tips of the ears, but have included instructions for lengthening it.TBL's Lotus HatOriginal patternGauge:5 st/in in...
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October 26, 2008
Today's Reason
...to duck behind the couch, curl up into a ball, and whimper. National Debt Clock Runs Out of Digits NEW YORK - In a sign of the times, the National Debt Clock in New York City has run out of digits to record the growing figure. As a short-term fix, the digital dollar sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square has been switched to a figure — the "1" in $10 trillion...
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October 09, 2008
Qwitcherbitchin'
There may be a Blackberry in TBL's future, as this summer she has found the vast majority of her "free time" on the bus. But she has valiantly carved some few moments out today because she simply could not resist remarking on this comment by Whine Sox pitcher Mark "World's Smallest Violin" Buehrle on the necessity of making up a previously rained out game with the Tigers:"You play...
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September 29, 2008
Did Anyone Get the Plate Number?
Twins @ BostonTwins 0, Boston 1Twins 5, Boston 6Twins 5, Boston 18 Baseball's a funny ol' game. You're cruising along, winning seven series in a row, sweeping four of them, and all of a sudden, BAM! Run over by a big red truck. But as long as that doesn't turn you into cat food, it's all okay. Really. ___________________________________________________ Next up, Twins @...
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July 09, 2008
When Hitting Isn't Desirable
Ugh. Yet another incident in which a player physically abuses a team employee. After the Astros' Shawn Chacon hit his GM in an argument over his removal (demotion) to the bullpen, we have Manny Ramirez shoving the BoSox traveling secretary to the ground when the man told him he might not be able to secure Manny 16 tickets for that day's game. (Aside: way to plan ahead, Manny...
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June 30, 2008
Here's a Wacky Idea
Let's play interleague all the time!Twins vs. AL: 31-33 (.484)Twins vs. NL: 14-4 (.778)Zounds. More interleague excitement:Twins pitching vs. AL: 4.73 ERA, 1.47 WHIP, 2.57 BB/9, 5.52 K/9, 2.15 K/BBTwins pitching vs. NL: 2.44 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 1.89 BB/9, 6.61 K/9, 3.50 K/BBTwins hitting vs. AL: .270 BA, .324 OBP, .389 SLG, .713 OPS, 4.63 R/Gm, 0.64 HR/GmTwins hitting vs. NL: .281 BA...
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June 29, 2008
*YAWN*
People Who Really Piss TBL Off, list entry #34: People who think it's funny to set off &%*#! firecrackers on a residential street at midnight on a weeknight. And again at 1:40 a.m. Also at 3:15. And finally at 4:30. There are times, darling readers, when TBL finds it very difficult to remember that she is a pacifist. A solid majority of those occur between bedtime...
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June 27, 2008
George Carlin, R.I.P.
George Carlin, 1937-2008 This was a guy who turned brutal honesty into an art form. He said what he thought, like it or not. Nothing was taboo because he didn't believe in taboos. He believed in putting it out there, and if it shocked people, then he figured they needed some shocking. When we stuck our heads in the sand and said, "If I don't like it, it's not happening...
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June 23, 2008
That's It Exactly
TBL has been looking for a good analogy for the season to date, and today she found one. (No points for guessing why this particular analogy came to her...) Watching the Twins so far has been like leaving the office for the lunch hour on a nice sunny day and taking a long, invigorating walk through a picturesque area, in shoes that haven't properly broken in yet. The comments...
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June 17, 2008
Is There a Doctor in the Stadium?
Darling readers, does it seem to you as though the Twins have been unusually injury-prone this season? Because that is how it has seemed to TBL. So many trips to the DL! Not to mention those unofficial "out for a few days" situations that reduce bench options and frustrate the heck out of everyone. So TBL decided to poke through the archives and see if this really is shaping...
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June 10, 2008
Arrr, That Be Hurtful
From a story on CBS Sports comes what may well be the insult of the year in baseball: "...the Pirates logo should have patches over both eyes." (Unsure whether to giggle or wince, TBL managed both simultaneously.)
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June 05, 2008
Well, That Was Interesting...
Things You Don't See Every Day(But Did Last Night):- a two-run sac fly- a triple by Jason "Fast Like Taffy" Kubel- a drunk guy running onto the field during a game of no particular importance or notoriety- an upper-deck Mauer homer- a fan catching an opponent home run and NOT throwing it back (good for him!)__________________________________Busy, busy, busy. Gads, dear readers,...
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June 05, 2008
Avast! Thar Be Critters!
So, TBL has gone a wee bit wacko with the Critter knitting. Here we see Captain Jack Critter, terror of the end table. To make Cap'n Jack a reality, TBL had to figure out how to knit him a tricorn. Uncharacteristically, she wrote it down as she went! So...the pattern.Critter Tricorn(probably suitable for any toy with a roundish head)When making this for a Critter, use the same...
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May 18, 2008
1 of 162
Twins 3Los Angeles Angels of Whose Brilliant Idea Was This Name Anyway in Anaheim 2 Ah, dear readers, last night's game deserves better than the little scrap of lunch break TBL has to give it, but such is life in the cubicle. And yea, the cubicle is necessary for the earning of the salary with ...
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April 09, 2008
An Open Letter to Nick Blackburn
Dear Nick,My, that was a lovely start. Seven innings, five hits, one walk, one wild pitch, one run. TBL could hardly believe it was your first major-league start. Unfortunately, when they came to the plate your teammates resembled nothing so much as drugged emus.Please allow this longtime Twins fan to offer you a piece of advice which, if followed, will help you to remain sane...
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April 03, 2008
Glory Days Revisited: Outfield
Ah, what verdant stretches do our outfielders from the unforgettable years of 2002-2004 patrol now?Brian "BOOM" Buchanan played for the Padres and Mets after being traded away from the Twins, then spent time with the St. Paul Saints and the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks before recently signing a minor-league deal with the Royals.Lew Ford refused an assignment to the minors at the end of...
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March 28, 2008
Glory Days Revisited: Infield
Today we discover whatever happened to those closest to the diamond in the Twins' glorious run of 2002-2004.Catcher Henry Blanco (aka "Mango Face") moved on to the Cubs after his 2004 stint with the Twins, and is still there. He is such an excellent defensive catcher and game-caller that even the dubious distinction of having the lowest career batting average among active players...
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March 26, 2008
Glory Days Revisited: Pitching
For some reason, who can say why, TBL has been feeling nostalgic for that incredible run of winning seasons and (less-winning) postseasons from 2002 - 2004. And she started to wonder, whatever happened to those boys?So TBL decided to hit the Google and find out!Today we will hunt high and low for l...
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March 25, 2008
+3 Nathanator of Closing
The Twins just announced that they have signed Joe Nathan to a contract extension through 2011, with a club option for 2012. No word yet on how much that cost.
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March 24, 2008
Pelean's Jewel, Part VI
Sir Brennan was sitting by the willow where Tallow had left his clothes when the boy stepped out of the water into the last faint light of sunset. He offered a towel."I was starting to worry," he said. "You were gone a long time. Did you learn anything?""Yes," Tallow said, swiping the towel across...
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March 12, 2008
Back in the Yarn Stash Again
Greetings, dear readers! TBL is back!The novel is done, the severance package has not run out, and there will be an interesting announcement regarding cubicle-type stuff just as soon as the paperwork is done and it's all official.TBL is working on her annual Twinsfest report, which will appear here...
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March 03, 2008
Heights of Dumbassery
Recently, several people have asked TBL why she has not blogged on the Santana trade. The answer is simple: TBL tries to keep a 97% profanity-free blog, and until now she has been unable to uphold that standard on this subject. In fact, she has already backspaced over two f-bombs and one h-e-doubl...
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February 16, 2008
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