LATEST STORIES FROM TIM'S TAKE
Ever Wonder What it Takes to be a Strip Club DJ?
Being out of work can be depressing. I can go for days without smiling.One of the few things that actually cheers me up is searching for a job, not because I'm finding an endless supply of new opportunities though. Browsing jobs for Craigslist can put a smile on my face because they are both educational and entertaining.Today, for example I found out that being a strip club DJ...
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March 24, 2009
Discuss
Today I will Brag About Not Having a Job
How's work going?How's pretending to be busy while you are watching the game on CBSSports.com going? Did you get caught yet?Did that kid who really doesn't know anything about basketball keep coming over to you and showing you his "upset bracket" for the office pool? Try your best not to hit him.Don't keep the game minimized for too long or they'll turn...
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March 19, 2009
Michael Wilbon's List of the Worst Things to Happen to the USA Might be Different than Yours
Let's do something you probably haven't done since you scored 1300 on your SATs*. Let's do a fill-in the blank exercise.BLANK is one the worst things to happen to the United States of America.We'll accept any of the following answers:--Slavery--Civil War--Great Depression--Assassination of Lincoln--Assassination of JFK--Oklahoma City bombing--AIDS epidemic--9/11-...
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March 18, 2009
Jimmy Fallon Presents "The Bryan Brinkman Project"
If you're on Twitter, follow Bryan Brinkman. Follow him not because I said so, you wouldn't do that anyways. Let's face it, I'm not influential like that.People like Jimmy Fallon and Questlove though, two guys who are influential, are the ones who want you to follow Bryan.Who's Bryan? You ask.I don't know.Here's what I do know. Brian is a cartoonist living...
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March 12, 2009
MTV Has Good Timing
While some of us were waking up at 6 am, in hopes of speaking with someone at the unemployment office, Kim Kardashian was giving out MTV Cribs Awards.In these tough times, with more and more people losing their cribs; MTV decided to give out awards like: "Coolest Cribs Closet," "Best Fish Tank" and "Best Whip, Ride or Dub Collection."MTV has aired 95...
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March 09, 2009
I Took February Off
As you can see I am back to writing in "the Take." The last time I was here it was late January.I wasn't being lazy, I was just a little preoccupied with other stuff.Here's a breakdown of that stuff that kept me from writing on this here blog.Some things I did:Talked to a Teen IdolAsked questions to an American Gladiator Spoke to a stripper, a strip club expert...
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March 08, 2009
You are Too Ghetto For Hawaiian Tropics Zone
If you opened your copy of the New York Post today, you'd find the heart-wrenching 354 word story of Melody Morales (seen here posing in front of her DVD collection which includes In the Mix, dressed in a bikini that shows off her Puerto Rican patriotism among other things).In the story, titled "Hot Babe Hopes to 'Rack Up'" the Post reports that young Melody...
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January 28, 2009
Saturday Night I Found Out that Dreams do Come True
"You might say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." - John LennonThat guy was right...about a lot of things, especially picking a wife. We are all dreamers, I'm not the only one who dreams. You dream, your mom dreams (about me), your drunk uncle dreams, your slutty cousin dreams (about me...and tons of other dudes). While we all dream, we all don&...
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January 25, 2009
The More She Drinks the Better You Look
Spotted this incredible local ad on the Best Week Ever blog.var addthis_pub="timh1020";
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January 14, 2009
Cat Vs. Fake Cat
I hate cats. Mostly because I am allergic but also because they aren't very smart. Here's an example of just how dumb they are.I definitely would have embedded this video but MySpace video kind of blows and I can't figure out their embed code.
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January 14, 2009
The Top 10 Products/Services that Just won't Go Away
In these harsh economic times, it seems as though companies are folding up like steel chairs at a wrestling match. A lot of those companies that are no longer with us seemed to have some potential. Then there are those products/services that have proven to be recession-proof, finding some way to stick around despite the fact that there is pretty much no need for them or that something...
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January 14, 2009
Girl I'd GIve Up Red Meat For : Gizele Mendez
My guess is that you've never seen this young lady before because her body of work is limited to Skinamax flicks, at least that's what imdb tells me.I just so happened to stumble upon a show called "Sex Chronicles: Lust in the Bus Depot," which was on Cinemax at 11:30 PM. How was I supposed to know that there was actually going to be a sex scene is a bus depot?...
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January 14, 2009
Facebook or Craigslist? Answers
Since I had some left over photos from last week's post about the ladies of Craigslist's "Erotic Services," I decided to share a few with you. I didn't just want to just throw up some photos of females who will service you in exchange for 200 hugs, that would make like me some sort of second-hand pimp.If you missed the earlier post and want to play the game...
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January 12, 2009
Congratulations Rickey Henderson
No surprise, Rickey Henderson is a first ballot Hall of Famer. What would be surprising, however, would be Rickey using the words "I" or "me" in his acceptance speech this summer. Rickey only refers to himself as "Rickey."Recently, FanIQ gathered up the 25 best Rickey stories you will ever read, please check it out.
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January 12, 2009
Facebook or Craigslist?
Since I had some left over photos from last week's post about the ladies of Craigslist's "Erotic Services," I decided to share a few with you. I didn't just want to just throw up some photos of females who will service you in exchange for 200 hugs, that would make like me some sort of second-hand pimp.Instead, I've decided to turn this into a game. Just...
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January 12, 2009
Those Are Some Golden Globes
Look at that pair of...New Balances on the grip in the background. What are those? 574s?Sorry if the Take is overdoing with Salma. This is just how we do what we do sometimes, deal with it Cate Blanchett.
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January 12, 2009
You're Gonna Love My Nuts
Sham Wow guy can sell more than really incredible shammies. Watch him sell the hell out of the Slap Chop, which I am pretty sure has already been on the market for about 20 years. Look at the numbers Slap Chop is going to do now that Sham Wow guy is on the job.
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January 11, 2009
Thank You 30 Rock
Tina Fey must have known that we were long overdue for a Salma Hayek sighting. That's why she threw her in last night's episode of 30 Rock, playing Jack's mother's nurse. Kudos to whoever who threw Salma into that red dress as well.
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January 09, 2009
Real World Brooklyn Live Blog
Coming at you live on the West Coast with an East Coast feed. Gotta love Dish Network. I'm blogging about my favorite reality show, The Real World.I know nothing about this season other than it's in Brooklyn. So here we go.Keep hitting refresh. I'll be updating pretty quickly. Also I am a couple minutes behind on my TiVo.(Update: If you missed this episode you can watch...
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January 07, 2009
How Friendly Are You with Your Facebook Friends?
Currently I have 288 friends on Facebook. I pretty much know or virtually know almost all 288. There might be a friend or five who I really have no idea who they are but are Facebook friends with them nonetheless. The rest of them though, I can safely say that I am at least somewhat familiar with them and actually like them. I don't necessarily love them all, but I don't...
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January 07, 2009
Vegas Baby! Vegas!: Beer Pong and Parking Lots
This past weekend I went to Vegas and got lost in the Flamingo parking lot. While other parking lots on the strip and pretty much anywhere in the entire world use signs with a letter/number/cartoon character to help you remember where you parked, the Flamingo said "the hell with that" and just bought a whole bunch of Sharpies.When I wasn't get lost in the Flamingo parking...
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January 06, 2009
2007 Human Being of Greatest Significance Finalist: Britney Spears
In 2007, Britney Spears lost her kids, lost her hair and lost her God damn mind.Spears went from wack off material to wack job.Blond bombshell to bald bomb scare.Ok, enough with the word play. Let's get down to business.Here's a recap of the kind of year Brit Brit had in '07.Actually, scratch that. L...
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March 10, 2008
First Flair, Now Favre?
We knew the day would eventually come when we'd have a world of sports/sports entertainment without both Brett Favre and Ric Flair. Little did we know that it would happen in the same week and sometime before the year 2025.It seemed as though neither men would ever walk away. Seeing Favre throwing in...
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March 09, 2008
Nintendo Wii Allows You Eat Hot Dogs Until You Vommit...Virtually
Nearly every sport has its video game counterpart. The major sports like football, basketball, baseball, soccer, hockey, tennis and boxing have been staples of interactive entertainment going all the way back to the days of Atari's "Pong," and Nintendo's "Mike Tyson's Punch Out," "10 Yard Fight" and ...
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March 09, 2008
Girl I'd Give Up Red Meat For: Tara Guelig, Star of Geico Commerical
I don't know what it is with me and girls featured in commercials for insurance agencies. Our most recent Girl I'd Give Up Red Meat for was Diane Nichols, a real life insurance agent fro State Farm who was featured in an ad alongside Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck.Our latest Girl I'd Give Up Red...
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March 08, 2008
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Tim's Take
My take on pretty much everything, but mostly sports, pop culture and your mom.
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