LATEST STORIES FROM TIRICO SUAVE
Matt Millen Doesn’t Need A GM Job To Demonstrate That He Knows Nothing About College Players
I’m ok with Matt Millen being on tv if he promises to say something dumb every time. So far, we’re good. Via Sports Grid.
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September 01, 2011
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September 01, 2011
Discuss
Waive The Waiting Period, Induct Brendan Ryan In David Eckstein Scraptastic Hustle Hall of Fame Now
(source feed provided no summary content for this entry)
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August 03, 2011
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August 03, 2011
90′s Era Sports Stars Ask You To Keep It In Your Pants In The Most 90′s Era Way Possible
Surfacing on the ‘net this past week was the collaborative effort of A.C Green, David Robinson, Barry Sanders and, apparently, the guy who edited the opening credits of Saved By The Bell, asking 90′s teenagers (Hey! That’s me! Rad!) to keep their respective penises and vaginas as far as humanly possible away from one another. [...]
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July 31, 2011
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July 31, 2011
Angry, Jilted Autograph Hound Takes His Ball And Goes Home Fires It Into Some Shrubbery
I never understood the allure of celebrity autographs. Picture requests I understand. They make sense to me. You can put them on Facebook, you can Photoshop a better, more happening celebrity into the picture instead. Tons of options. But autographs? Who gives a ****? Have you ever been shown an autograph and came away impressed? [...]
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July 27, 2011
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July 27, 2011
The Costacos Bros. Sports Posters Get The Long Overdue Art Exhibit That They Deserve
Our love for the Costacos Bros. posters is well documented (well, that’s if you’re a frequent reader of our site and you’ve been filing the appropriate documents. I haven’t). Like many of you, my walls are were covered with the ubiquitous relics from the 1990s. And wouldn’t you know it, as it turns out, I [...]
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June 13, 2011
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June 13, 2011
Phenom Bryce Harper Possesses The Douchebaggery Of A Man Twice His Age
I tend to give younger athletes a bit of a pass when it comes to knucklehead behavior. It wasn’t too long ago that I was 19 and I’m sure as **** happy that I didn’t cameras and media folk tracking my every move, but man, Bryce Harper is different. The a-hole force is strong with [...]
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June 06, 2011
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June 06, 2011
This Is What Happens When Mere Mortals Try To Get Within A Few Feet Of Ichiro
(source feed provided no summary content for this entry)
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June 02, 2011
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June 02, 2011
Sage Steele Knows Squirrels In This World Are Just Trying To Get A Nut
I’m not a fan of Sage Steele. Every time she hosts the AM SportsCenter, I always get the impression that she doesn’t want to be there and is only doing this until Good Morning America calls. Plus, she comes off just incredibly dull and vanilla. I often thought there was nothing Ms. Steele could do [...]
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May 16, 2011
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May 16, 2011
Batting Cage Lever Deems Itself A ‘Robot’, Gets To Throw Out First Pitch At Game
When I heard a ‘robot’ was going to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game, my initial thought was ‘Phew! Thank God we have our brightest young scientific minds working around the clock on something as important to civilization as that!’. It’s like Watson, but for sports! Then I actually saw the video [...]
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April 20, 2011
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April 20, 2011
Matt Millen Now Only Holds Seven Jobs On Television Analyzing Football
One gig down….many, many to go, but hey, as a Lions fan, I’m an expert at accepting small victories, i.e. not real victories. And sure, he’s still yapping away about football on television in a most unqualified manner on tWWL, but I still get all nostalgic and ish anytime I see the words ‘fire’ and [...]
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April 15, 2011
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April 15, 2011
Tonight, Charlie Villanueva Was Actually Cancerous To His Team And His League
I guess KG was right, huh? Villanueva, what a jerk. I don’t know what Ryan Hollins said for sure, but I’m thinking he probably called Zinedine Zidane’s sister a ***** so something. That’s the case most of the time when fights break out at big sporting events like the World Cup or a Pistons/Cavs game [...]
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April 12, 2011
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April 12, 2011
Ok Criminals, Now Might Be The Time To Stop Jacking All Of Evan Longoria’s Stuff
First, it was his cap. Then, it was his ride. Now, it’s his home, IN HIS BEDROOM! Where David Price sleeps… and Reid Brignac plays with his toys. Someone clearly has it out for the Rays superstar, so can you blame him for keeping a gun by his side? What? The gun was an AK-47? [...]
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March 28, 2011
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March 28, 2011
Shawn Marion The Latest To Enter The Brian Baldinger Hall Of Fame
Via the Sportress of Blogitude, comes a photo of Shawn Marion’s complete effed up pinkie finger. On the Baldinger scale, I’d say it falls somewhere between Torry Holt’s disgustingly askew digit and Eminem’s middle finger at the end of 8 Mile.
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March 28, 2011
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March 28, 2011
Jose Canseco: I’m 6’3”, 230 Pounds And There Are Two Of Me
That’s Jose on the left, I think. Hell if I know. Jose Canseco has found another useful function for his twin brother Ozzie besides being his go-to case study as to why steroids don’t turn any old baseball player into a bonafide superstar. Yes, the lesser Canseco is now filling in for for his brother [...]
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March 28, 2011
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March 28, 2011
Here’s ESPN’s College Hoops Experts Speaking Expertly About College Hoops, A Subject On Which They Are Experts
Sure, in the world of predicting sports, it’s commonplace for those supposedly in the know to choose wrong. That’s not the point of this post. No, I posted this video because it’s thoroughly entertaining to watch the Worldwide Leader’s talking heads get so righteously indignant about the inclusion of an 11-seed who just steamrolled it’s [...]
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March 28, 2011
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March 28, 2011
Spanish Liga Basketball: Come For The Ridiculous Ending, Stay For The Exasperated Announcer
I’ve been worried sick about the whereabouts of Jorge Garbajosa ever since I received no reply from the former Raptors’ big man regarding my generous offer. Alas, I will fret no more as video of J-Garb has surfaced and it seems he’s not only fine, but also still playing hoops. In fact he took part [...]
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March 21, 2011
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March 21, 2011
Finally, A Sports Game For Both Whores And Sluts!
Serena Williams or CC Sabathia? You make the call. Serena Williams recently made news but for all the wrong reasons. A pulmonary embolism developed in her lungs, nearly cost her her life and she’ll likely be away from the game of tennis for a year, maybe more. But luckily, for the tennis superstar, she’s found [...]
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March 21, 2011
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March 21, 2011
Tommy Heinsohn Will Dry Hump The Air When Given A Plate Of Seafood
Hey, look at that. Two posts in a row of people simply having a marvelous time of themselves. Who says the Suave is nothing but gruesome injuries and schadenfreude? We have heart. Via Red’s Army.
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March 20, 2011
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March 20, 2011
Jubilant Nets Fan Is Jubilant
Sure, there’s a lot to mock in this video: the pink shirt with the popped collar, the fro, the breasts where there’s not supposed to be breasts, the unbridled enthusiasm not witnessed since the days of Billy Mumphrey but I think this time I’ll take the high road. You see, I can’t tell you the [...]
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March 15, 2011
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March 15, 2011
Bob Knight Is This Year’s Biggest March Madness Sleeper
So, the Mike Francesa stuff was never my schtick per se, it was more Losee’s gig, but seeing as how he’s put himself on double-secret blog probation for violating the Suave’s honor code, I figured I’d give it a whirl. Besides, this video’s far too enjoyable to not post on here. Via Jimmy Traina.
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March 14, 2011
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March 14, 2011
Hey Look! It’s The Tibia Of Some Soccer Player Whom I’ve Never Heard Of Before Today!
Oh man…poor (looks up name again) Nani. (giggles at silly name) (forgets about soccer again) Via EPL Talk.
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March 06, 2011
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March 06, 2011
If You’re Going To Heckle Sean Avery, Make Sure You Put Some Teeth In Your Taunts
Who says Sean Avery is an asshole? Clearly no one who has ever seen this video. I mean, what other professional athlete would take the time out of his busy schedule to make sure that even his most ardent detractors have a proper health care plan in place at their jobs? He’s like the Barack [...]
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February 25, 2011
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February 25, 2011
Joakim Soria Would Prefer A More Cuddly, PC-Friendly Nickname Than ‘The Mexecutioner’
For the last few seasons, Royals closer Joakim Soria has had one of the more badass-ier nicknames in not just baseball but all of sports, the Mexecutioner. It’s perfect and everything you’d want from a dominant ninth-inning guy. Hell, he even got a gnarly t-shirt out the deal. But now of course, with the modern [...]
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February 23, 2011
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February 23, 2011
Rumor: Danilo Gallinari Under The Impression That The Nuggets Are A Professional Racquetball Team
(source feed provided no summary content for this entry)
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February 23, 2011
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February 23, 2011
Kobe Bryant The First Person In History To Associate Jason Whitlock With Yoga
For those of you who just started watching sports today, let me illustrate to you how press conferences typically go: Some reporter: (mindless question) Some athlete: (even more mindless answer) (repeat) However, occasionally, a reporter will stray off the beaten path and try to extract more specific knowledge from an athlete and in these cases, [...]
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February 21, 2011
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February 21, 2011
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