We're back again for yet another day of Pammy goodness. I'm going to skip the formalities this morning and get right to the quotes (if that's okay with you). As always, keep the quotes coming and be sure to included your website(s) so I can give credit. Also, we need a calm Hanna to keep this thing up for the entire day. The winds are already pretty crazy, and the thing is literally going through my backyard, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Your Week Two Announcing Schedule

"If they can get the center or guard to the linebacker, or the second level, at the point of attack....it's out to the races."- Chris Spielman

"They're lead by their offensive line, offensively."- Mark May

"He's tired tonight. He did a Soccer game in Dallas last night. It was exciting, there was actually a goal in that game."- Sean McDonough

This guy is seriously a freak of nature. Bolt and Asafa Powell were in Brussels today for the much anticiapted re-match to end the Track and Field season. ESPN awesomely decided to show it live during Sports Center and here's the race....



The guy almost fell at the start and still ran the third best time ever (tying Tyson Gay who withdrew from the event). Just unbelievable. I really hope he doesn't get caught up in all of that steroid mess that some of the Jamaican athletes are currently in because the Sport really needs someone as good as (and completely clean).

Bolt runs 9.77 in cold, wet conditions for win (AP)

The majority of the country is getting a double dose of the Mets-Phillies this weekend, but with Hanna heading up the East Coast it's likely that at least the Saturday game will be rained out. If that's the case then expect the DBacks-Dodgers game on in the areas that had the game.

There's also yet another Josh Lewin sighting and for everyone getting Chris Rose.....I'm sorry. Here's the schedule....

Saturday:

Philadelphia Phillies at New York Mets - Kenny Albert, Tim McCarver & Ken Rosenthal (FOX, 3:55pm, 60%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Birmingham, Buffalo, Charlotte, Cincinnati, Columbus, Dallas, Dayton, Fort Myers, Greensboro, Greenville, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Knoxville, Louisville, Memphis, Miami, Milwaukee, Nashville, New Orleans, New York, Norfolk, Oklahoma City, Orlando, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Richmond, San Antonio, St. Louis, Tulsa, Washington, West Palm Beach

Detroit Tigers at Minnesota Twins - Chris Rose & Leo Mazzone (FOX, 3:55pm, 21%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Minneapolis, Portland, Providence, Seattle, Tampa

Arizona Diamondbacks at Los Angeles Dodgers - Josh Lewin & Mark Grace (FOX, 3:55pm, 18%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Albuquerque, Denver, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, San Diego, San Francisco

Sunday:

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim at Chicago White Sox - Chip Caray & Buck Martinez (TBS, 2pm)
Philadelphia Phillies at New York Mets- Jon Miller and Joe Morgan (ESPN, 8pm)

The USA Network has carried the opening rounds of the U.S. Open for 25 years and has always done an amazing job with the tournament. For one reason or another, the network has decided to focus all attention and resources on its "Characters Welcome" campaign (and will give you more episodes of Law & Order you can handle!) and won't be renewing its TV contract with USTA next year....
The network is giving up sports to focus on its character-driven programming. ESPN and the Tennis Channel will televise from Flushing Meadows for at least the next five years.

For two weeks, USA has been reminiscing over its 25-year history of covering the tournament, replaying moments like the Barbra Streisand "Zen" interview.

The cable change probably won't make too big a difference to tennis fans a€" McEnroe & company hop from network to network a€" but it will be strange without relentless commercials for programs like "The Starter Wife." (In 1995, the network did so many promos for a made-for-TV thriller called "The Colony," I broke down and watched it. Let's just say it was best shown in 60-second snippets.)Over the years USA has been purging themselves of Sports like the Masters, and after this move they're only left with just the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and RAW (not really Sports, but you get what I'm saying). I understand that $140 Million dollars is a lot of money, and I'm personally not breaking any doors down to watch Burn Notice or Monk, but maybe someone is. I've watched the U.S. Open on the network since I was a kid, so it's definitely sad to see it go to another network, but at least McEnroe and Co. are staying on board.

With that said, I've always been a fan of season ending or year ending montages and this 25-year one ranks up there with the best of them. Especially when you set it to a cover of Steely Dan's "Reelin' In The Years"....



Closing Time for USA Network (NY Times)

Dan Patrick had on Tatum Bell to discuss the whole Rudi Johnson Luggage incident this morning and I promised you yesterday that I'd get the audio for you to listen to and here it is.....



Man, it's really hard not to believe him after that and you have to feel bad for the guy. If it went down as he says, and was an accident, it would be a shame for his career to end on that note. Patrick was right though, that missing money and underwear is what's causing this whole thing to go on. If the other guy, or someone close to him, was the one who took it then he really need to call him out.

Oh and one more thing.....when Bell said, "I never had any baggage. I've never been in any trouble," right after the 3 minute mark, I almost lost it.

Dan Patrick Interviews: Tatum Bell (SI: Dan Patrick)

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....


"Soak this in, it's the only time you will ever see Olberman on the far right."- Wade Roberston

"These press conferences aren't bad when Peter King isn't here blabbing on and on about coffee, his colon and Mary Beth."- Anon

"Who's sitting on Costas?"- Anon

"HAHAHA HE SAID "MEDAL CUNT"!!!! Play the tape again, play it again!!!"- Anon

"I liked this show better with Charles Nelson Riley and Betty White."- Edward (Match Game! Nice pull.)
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Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of [expletive deleted]?


Daily Links:

Yeah, About That West Coast Offense.... (The Sporting Blog)
And Where Was Joe Gibbs Last Night? (From The Marbles)
Laron Landry Meet Brandon Jacobs (KSK)
So Much For That Whole English Speaking Idea That The LPGA Came Up With (Fanhouse)
An Awesome Guide To NFL Tailgating (Slosh Spot)
A Fun NFL Roster Quiz (Mondesi's House)
The Brian Urlacher "Swagger" Commercial (You Been Blinded)
Being A Bengals Fan Is Rough (The Meaningful Collateral)
The Tennis World Needs Someone Like Djokovic (Sports Lounge Blog)
The Football Foodie Has A New Home! (Playing The Field)
Some Highschool Recruiting News (Prep Champs)
Special Teamers Rule! (Yep Yep)
The Best NFL Coaches Ever (Love of the NFL)
Woods, Phelps And Montel In Vegas (With Leather)

This video via Franky at Denseland just had me rolling this morning. A squirrel got loose on the field during the ninth inning of the White Sox- Indians game yesterday and proceeded to amaze and entertain for most of the frame....



That little guy had to be on acid or something, but I really want him as a pet. Hell, the Indians should turn him into a version of the Rally Monkey and start selling little plush versions of him at the ballpark. Oh and the announcer's comment about him playing third in the shift was hilarious. Good times.

Since Tuesday, I've been getting multiple emails asking me why Tony and Wilbon keep popping up randomly during commercial breaks. To answer all of your questions....I don't know why. Here's what I'm talking about....



PTI is the flagship program for the network, and they've been using it to keep people interested in shows like the 6pm Sports Center for awhile. This move seems along those same lines, but doing so with advertisers is just a bit annoying. It's obvious that these are on purpose, and I hate commercials as much as the next person, but this comes across as someone trying too hard.

I think PTI is by far the best show on the network (I think everyone knows that), but ESPN needs to be careful they don't ruin the show with all of this nonsense. The show suffers enough when guest hosts fill-in, and when you start breaking the show up and doing these cut-ins, it's only going to make more people change the channel.

Just look at that picture above. Now I don't know about you, but that looks like both the coolest and cheesiest thing I've ever seen. ESPN has apparently been working with EA Sports for awhile now, and tabbed the video game in coming with a virtual playing field of sorts. And according to the NY Times you'll start to see analysts interacting with the Sports holograms in the coming days and months....
Boiled down, the complex technology, which will make its debut this Sunday on ESPN's popular "NFL Countdown" program, involves using an Electronic Arts' title a€" say Madden NFL 09 a€" with specialized digital camera equipment in the studio. Presto: Both real and virtual people move around the ESPN set to demonstrate plays and possible situations.

And the sports behemoth has more ambitious plans down the road. Instead of using the technology, called EA Sports Virtual Playbook, to tell viewers what to look for before games, ESPN wants to use it in reverse to play the ultimate Monday morning quarterback.

Using real information from a game, ESPN anchors could reprogram an actual sequence to show, for example, what would have happened had Peyton Manning thrown right instead of left. In theory the idea is amazing, but when's the last time you saw a good 3-D anything? Every movie made comes out looking crappy and every person in them ends up looking like a glorified Weatherman. I hope it works out for them though, mainly just because I hate those pointless mini fields. They're finally putting those things to good use.

I'll try to have video of the technology up after it debuts this Sunday.

At ESPN, Play-by-Play Goes Virtual (NY Times)

(Thanks to IB for the tip)

I know everyone was extremely disappointed when news broke that the Lou Holtz' Pep Talks had been scratched, but I'm throwing my hat in the ring for the Dr. Lou segment right now. Anytime you can get Lou taking messages from Bobby Bowden AND Regis Philbin....you've got a winner.



"Remember, when people need love and understanding the most, is usually when they deserve it the least."

It just doesn't get any better than that and those are words to live by my friends. And the, "wasn't a good honeymoon," line at the end was priceless. I love me some Lou.

Man, how's this for a downer on NFL Opening Day (or Opening Kickoff)? Chris Berman's "Swami" character, and its schticky goodness, turns thirty years-old this season and boy does that make me feel old. There's even more bad news.....The Swami is back once again with more predictions sure to lose you betters a ton of money!



I can't believe there's a person on this planet that finds the act funny, but for some reason I watch the "Swam" feature intently every time it comes on. The predictions almost always make no sense, it's dreadfully unfunny and the costumes are just ridiculous, but Berman has somehow managed to keep it going for 30-years as of this season. Oh how the time flies.

(FYI- I'm not going to be able to pull off a live-blog for tonight because something came up. If you come across any interesting quotes be sure to email them my way and I'll have videos and reviews up either tonight or early tomorrow.)

It's a wild story that I'm sure you've probably already read about somewhere, but here's a quick recap. Rudi Johnson gets signed by the Lions, Tatum Bell gets cut to make room for the new RB, Rudi's luggage inexplicably goes missing (along with money clip and bills), cameras catch Bell walking out of the facility with the bags....annnnnnd SCENE!

You couldn't write something like that, and while you'd like to think it's cut and dry at this point, we're just getting started with this whole thing. Tatum Bell has now told the Detroit Free-Press that it was an honest mistake and that he thought that the luggage was the property of someone else....
Now, Bell's version: Knowing he was going to be released, Bell went to clean out his locker. Former teammate Victor DeGrate, who played at the same high school and college as Bell and had been cut Saturday, asked him to grab his backpack. Bell grabbed two bags by the computer area, thinking they were DeGrate's.

"I didn't have a clue," Bell said. "I wasn't thinking or nothing at the time. I just grabbed the backpack and grabbed the other bag. It wasn't in nobody's locker or nothing like that. It was just sitting right there by the computers. a€¦ So I grabbed them and put them in the car."

Bell said he took the bags to a female friend of DeGrate's, as DeGrate had asked him to. The woman, reached by phone, was upset and declined to comment. DeGrate did not respond to messages. Later, the Lions contacted Bell and told him they had the surveillance video of him taking Johnson's bags.

"I said, 'If you look on film, I wasn't in no hurry or nothing. I was just going about my day,' " Bell said. "I tried to talk to Rudi yesterday, but he was pretty upset, so I let it go. So now it's that I'm being a thief. I come to found out that the bags weren't whose I thought they was. It was just an honest mistake, man."I guesssssss that could potentially have happened, but the irony is of the charts if that's the case. Oh well, you have to take a man at his word right? And the first word since the incident will come on The Dan Patrick Show tomorrow. You can hear all of the apologetic goodness at 10:30am EST or so over at DP.com, and there's also a small chance that Rudi Johnson will be on the show. I've been told that's unlikely at this point, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Tatum Bell explains himself (Dan Patrick Show)
Bell: 'I ain't no thief;' but Lions' Johnson doesn't believe him (Detroit Free Press)
Tatum Bell Handled That Well (With Leather)

Great catch by reader DH this afternoon. He forwarded on a link of the Colts' schedule that showed their September--th game against the Vikings was going to be played at Lambeau Field. Well with a little bit more sleuthing, I uncovered that ESPN has moved the Vikings permanently to the their new home in Green Bay (click for larger)....


We all know that ESPN really wants to move all operations to Green Bay anyway (I think there are a few rooms available at Wendi Nix's condo), but that is too funny. It's obviously a simple mistake, but imagine the horror on Vikings Fans' faces as they click on their team's schedule and see their home field is that of the hated Green Bay Packers. Of all the stadiums and teams they could have made this mistake with. Good times ESPN.com!

Minnesota Vikings Team Schedule (ESPN)

Okay, over the years I've used that "randomness" tag pretty liberally, but I have to say that this is by far the most random thing I've ever come across. ESPN Page 2 writer, and Uniwatch founder, Paul Lukas is going on tour. No it's not a book tour, or anything for his website(s), he's actually opening for the rock band The Magnetic Fields....and he'll doing so by showing a random PowerPoint presentation....seriously. From Uniwatch via SbB....
Today's lead entry takes a break from uni-related content, cuz I've got an unusual announcement to make. As most of you know, I've done several spoken-word gigs over the past year or so a€" readings, lectures, "performances," whatever you want to call them. Now, in a really unusual twist, I'm going to be opening for a rock band, and I'm pretty excited about it.

Here's the deal: My longtime pal Liz Clayton and I have been asked by our friends the Magnetic Fields (that's them in the photo above) to serve as their opening act for part of their upcoming fall tour. Liz will be doing a PowerPoint presentation based on her awesome web site devoted to transparently repurposed fast-food outlets, Not Fooling Anybody (a few of you may have seen her present this same program at Union Hall back in January a€" it was hilarious), and I'll be doing a PowerPoint devoted to a€¦ I'm not sure yet. My topic might be trade magazines (my topic at that Union Hall show), or it might be one of the other things I've presented lately, like the design evolution of butchery charts or the cultural history of the baseball cap. Or it might be something else entirely. I'm still deciding.

Liz and I, who are calling ourselves the Forewords, had hoped to do five or six shows on the tour, but it looks like logistical conflicts will limit us to just two: October 10th at the State Theater in Minneapolis, and October 11th at the Capitol Theater in Madison.Now, I'm not all that into The Magnetic Fields, but that seems like a pretty awesome idea. If I was going to see a band I liked, I would much rather learn something I didn't know about than have to wait through a crappy band I've never heard of. This could have staying power. I'm thinking that the Dropkick Murphys should have Bill Simmons do a presentation when his new book comes out. Nothing bad could happen right?

And Now for Something Completely Different (Uniwatch)
Uni Watch Gives Rock & Roll, PowerPoints To You (Sports By Brooks)

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....


"In the next 10 seconds, Cassel threw 4 interceptions."- G-Money

"A confused Matt Cassel wonders why his clipboard is football-shaped."- Down Goes Brown

"Shortly before this picture, head coach Bill Bellicheck told reporters on hand that Tom Brady was "questionable" for that day's shuttle drill."- Anon

"Patriots Fun Fact: 12-16-5 is also the combination on Tom Brady's Hannah Montana dream journal."- Ross
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Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of the NBC Football crew laughing it up at a press conference?


Daily Links:

I Love Czabe, But He's Crazy For Writing This Glowing Tribute To Musburger (Daily Czabe)
John Elway Joins Salisbury At OPEN Sports (Business Wire)
Hilarious Manny Translating Video ( Larry Brown Sports)
Elliott Asks The Tough MMA Questions (MMA Rated)
Soccer Fight! (Joe Sports Fan)
Stephen A. Smith Somehow Manages To Bring Race Into A Fantasy Football Article (WWOD)
The Seven Deadly Sins Of The Sports Blogger (Sports Dollar)
Become A Famous Blogger! (Sox and Dawgs)
That's The Thunder's Logo? Really??? (Nick On Sports)
An Old School Barkley Commercial (NESW Sports)
Somebody's Gotta Win The ACC (Digital Headbutt)
The Secret Life Of The Phoenix Gorilla (Real Clear Sports)
Post US Open Cup Celebration (Ballhype)

FYI- Live-Blog tonight of the Skins-Giants. Be here around 7pm!