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Lovable Prankster Pedro Martinez Admits He Was Never Really Hurt

Following another impressive start Monday, enigmatic but lovable Mets clubhouse joker Pedro Martinez informed reporters that he was "just kidding" about his arm injury, rotator-cuff surgery, and yearlong stint on the DL, playfully shrugging his shoulders and grinning in a fashion Mets officials are calling "vintage Pedro." "Boy, are our faces red," said Mets GM Omar Minaya, chuckling and shaking his head at the stunt...

You gotta love The Onion

Roger Clemens Officially Earns His $20 Million

After a half-season plagued by inconsistency, injury, and general disappointment, Roger Clemens finally earned the almost $20 million he was signed for when he delivered a six-inning no-decision start against the Red Sox Sunday. "We paid Roger Clemens specifically for his ability to come up big in important games like this, and now that he has done that, I can proudly say that our money was not wasted and that his job here is done," Yankee GM Brian Cashman said of the 6 --6 pitcher with an ERA over 4.00 who has worked seven-plus innings in just three games this entire season. "We hope that Roger will continue to play for us through the remainder of the season, but if he does not want to, he has certainly held up his end of the bargain and is free to go." During a post-game press conference, Clemens noted that since he is focused on winning and is not really concerned about the money, he generously threw in four extra strikeouts for free.

Tiger Woods Looking For More Competitive Golf Tour

Following his dominating performance at this year's Tour Championship, in which he not only ran free of the field with an overpowering eight-shot victory but also took home the first ever FedEx Cup Championship, 13-time major winner Tiger Woods told reporters Sunday that he is looking to participate in a more competitive golf tour during the 2008 season. "Don't get me wrong—I love to play golf, I love to win, and I've loved the time I've spent on the PGA Tour, but winning this easily isn't making me any better," said Woods, adding that he has been searching online and making numerous phone calls to locate a golf tour where the players are "at least twice as good as the opponents I've faced up until now." "It's not about the money, as I'll play for free if I know I'm being pushed to even half of my ability." Woods added that he would consider playing certain PGA Tour events next year if Commissioner Tim Finchem allows him to spot the field 10 strokes, play at night, and use only a single golf ball and a 2-iron.

Ana Ivanovic started playing tennis in empty swimming pool  

The early challenge for Ana Ivanovic was to avoid crashing into the walls of an empty Belgrade swimming pool where she played tennis at five. Now, her goal is to reach the No. 1 ranking.

The 19-year-old is the youngest of a Serbian trio - including Jelena Jankovic and Novak Djokovic - who are ranked in the top 10 and excelled at the French Open, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open.

Youngsters lack desire - Henman

Tim Henman has warned young British tennis players to stop making excuses for their lack of success. "Sure, it's about kids having accessibility, but I think that's an excuse," said the 33-year-old. "I've played against enough of these guys, from Eastern block countries or parts of Russia or Argentina - what are their opportunities? They haven't got financial backing. When are individual players going to take responsibility?

"They haven't got masses of courts to play on, but they've got the hunger to make it happen.

Who benefits most from extra day off in Playoff series?

How much would it mean for the Los Angeles Angels to have John Lackey and Kelvim Escobar pitch twice in a best-of-five series? What would the Cleveland Indians give to have C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona have a second start with their full rest in the short series that begins Major League Baseball's playoffs Oct. 3 and 4?

Franchitti to stay in IndyCar..Maybe  

The Indianapolis 500 and newly crowned IndyCar Series champion is expected to leave Andretti Green Racing for a ride in NASCAR next season...or is he?

"There's a lot of factors, and at the appropriate time I'll think about it, but right now I don't see it being the appropriate time," he said Tuesday. "We just won the championship and we're in sort of the celebration stage of that. I'm not going to really think about my future until the end of this week or the start of next week at the earliest."

Cink: Players to blame for FedEx flaws

"Probably half the players out here couldn't care less about it," Jeff Maggert said about the FedEx Cup. "The other half are indifferent. ... I hear a lot being written, but I don't see anybody writing anything about Finchem. "I mean, this was his idea. He really didn't consult any of the players. He kind of shoved it down our throats and said, 'This is what we're going to do.'

Stewart Cink says players had plenty of opportunity to voice their displeasure about the FedEx Cup before its inception.

Baltimore is Home away from Home for Red Sox

Jonathan Papelbon was one strike from securing another Boston win at Camden Yards, and many in the crowd of 39,234 stood and cheered. When Papelbon struck out Freddie Bynum to seal a 3-2 victory over the Baltimore Orioles, the roar from the thousands of red-clad fans reached a crescendo.That's only one reason the Red Sox will miss playing at their favorite stadium besides Fenway Park. Not only do they receive plenty of support in Baltimore, they usually find a way to win, too.

A-Rod homers in fifth straight game  

On a 2-1 count, Greinke threw a fastball on the inside corner. Greinke meant for the pitch to be off the plate. However, A-Rod still swung and blasted the pitch 390 feet into the Yankees' bullpen in left-center field for a two-run homer and a 2-0 lead.

Thats five games and six homruns for A-Rod. That streak ties his personal record.

Redemption for Elam  

In his 15 NFL seasons, Jason Elam had never missed three field goals in one game. The Denver Broncos kicker wasn't about to start a new trend. Elam and the Broncos field goal unit scrambled onto the field to convert a 42-yard attempt just as time ran out, lifting Denver to a 15-14 season-opening win over the stunned and injury-depleted Buffalo Bills on Sunday.

"I'm really happy and thankful I got a chance to redeem myself there," said Elam

David Beckham vs. Reggie Bush

Football or Futbol?

Spyker unveiling at Italian Grand Prix

Spyker will race its new B-spec challenger for the first time at Sunday's Italian Grand Prix, a week after an Indian billionaire led a bid for the struggling Formula One team.

"We should see an increase in our race and qualifying pace and be up there in the mix of the midfield if everything works out," Spyker chief technical officer Mike Gascoyne said. "This is just the start and there are many areas of the car we will revisit, there is a lot more to come from this team."

Poor Andy Roddick

Turned on the television the other night to watch the man in black devour another opponent on the stadium court. Poor Andy Roddick, again.

If tennis is one big Sunday brunch for Roger Federer, Poor Andy Roddick is the eggs benedict.

But then, who can condemn Poor Andy Roddick? He is banging his head against the Great Wall of Switzerland.

Phil Takes on the System

As soon as Phil Mickelson shrugged off Tiger Woods and the rest of the field at the Deutsche Bank Championship, he decided to take on golf's powers-that-be.

Complaining that the PGA Tour Playoffs are too much of a commitment for players already tired from a long season, Mickelson decided to skip the BMW Championship this week outside Chicago.

"My frustration from this past year came from asking for a couple of things in the FedEx Cup that weren't done, and not feeling all that bad now if I happen to miss," he said Monday. "So I'm not really sure how it's going to play out."
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