Once upon time, Dick was a common name. In fact, it was so common that when "Bewitched" wanted to replace Dick York in 1964, it replaced him with Dick Sargent. Back in the 60s, Dicks were everywhere, including Major League Baseball. From Dick Allen to Dick Groat, Dick Brown to Dick Green, you couldn't watch a game without coming across at least one Dick. Nowadays, however, there's not a single, solitary Dick in the Major Leagues.

Know what the 18 blogs on Rob Neyer's Blog Roll have in common? Of the A's, Cardinals, Mariners, Dodgers, Mets, Nationals, Padres, Padres, Rays, Royals, Tigers, Tigers, Twins, Yankees, Yankees, Yankees, Yankees and Yankees, none of them are in first place. Not a one. Apparently there are no good blogs written about the Red Sox, White Sox, Angels, Phillies, Cubs and Diamondbacks.

I don't take another man's job dismissal lightly (unless that man is Julio Lugo), but after another gut-wrenching performance from Mike Timlin last night, I have to ask, "Will he go the way of Tavarez soon?"

Reading Rick Reilly is like rooting for Justin Timberlake to get lucky, Exxon to hit a gusher, Bill Gates to find a twenty on the sidewalk. It takes no imagination. It takes no courage.

Reading Bill Simmons, on the other hand, is like rooting for the salmon to eat the bear. It takes faith. It takes forgiveness. It takes Tums. Simmons is a roller coaster in an earthquake.

In his first four starts of the season, Mussina was 1-3 with a 5.75 ERA, 3.1 K/9 and 5 home runs allowed. In his last 10 starts, he's 8-1 with a 3.11 ERA, 5.7 K/9 and 5 home runs allowed. Is there a hotter pitcher in the American League right now? No. Is there an American League pitcher who deserves to start ahead of him in the All-Star Game? Probably not. Granted, the game's not for a month, but All-Star selections are all about buzz and momentum, and while Cliff Lee has it right now (after beating up on Dontrelle and the Sisters of the Blind last night), Mike Mussina is right there. As a Sox fan, it pains me to say this, but no Red Sox starter is in the discussion right now, though that could change.

If Kobe Bryant had been traded to the Bulls...

• Jack Nicholson would have taken a sand wedge to the windshield of Kupchak's car.

• Carson Daly would have beaten out Jimmy Fallon as the replacement for Conan O'Brien.

• O.J. Mayo would not have accepted tickets to a Nuggets/Lakers game from Carmelo Anthony, since the Lakers would have sucked and Mayo don't do sucked.

"Starting today with the great state of Alaska, we're going to review the 10 states that have yet to send anyone to Cooperstown, along with 1) the possible reasons why, 2) reasons why the state could still be considered a baseball-friendly place, and 3) reasons why the state could be considered the Worst State for Baseball."

At first I thought this headline on the Astros' game — fourth down below — was a play on words. Ya know, perhaps the game had been undone by errors, and thus things err-upted? But no. The WWL simply doesn't hire editors who can spell. That's good to no…

For $3 to $5 (on average), you can sponsor your favorite player, manager, or team for one year on Baseball-Reference.com, while advertising your company, Web site, or personal allegiance. For instance, Derek Jeter's page is sponsored by Hot Stove New York, which plugs itself as "The one-stop destination for New York sports," and Jason Varitek's page is sponsored by FenwayFanatics.com.

And who sponsors Red Sox shortstop Julio Lugo? Yankee fans, of course.

Richie Sexson's decision to charge the mound on this "purpose" pitch from Kason Gabbard pretty much highlights his knowledge of the strike zone. Rangers' announcer Tom Grieve might have dropped the quote of the year: "That is a gutless, 6-foot-7, .200-hitting, formerly good player."

In Sexson's defense, he's actually 6-foot-8.

I could have let the bad vibes from last night's loss infiltrate my brain, leading me to write a column about Jed Lowrie, the Red Sox' shortstop of the future. But that would have been knee-jerk and dispiriting. Instead, I chose to watch baseball bloopers, which serve to remind me that Lugo isn't the only fielder who bobs around like a wounded wildebeest.

This video was reportedly taken at a Chattanooga Lookouts baseball game. According to the summary, the bottle's empty, which helps explain why the guy on the left turns it upright when the baby turns it over…

Notice how the mascot kindly inspects the situation and (this being eastern Tennessee) finds nothing amiss. Carry on.

Man, I can't wait for Baseball Tonight's re-creation of Babe Ruth's called shot. It'll probably have him pointing at a naked Linda Cohn, saying "I'd hit that!"

The look in this picture is not the respectful nod of a man who's just been bested in a fair fight. It's the bitter face of a man who's just been struck out for the seventh time in 17 career at-bats, by a former teammate he doesn't seem to like.

In light of the latest developments, I asked a world-renowned public relations expert to explain how Clemens might be able to salvage his tarnished reputation. On the condition of anonymity, she agreed to discuss her 10-point plan. "If Clemens followed this to a tee, he might actually end up in the Hall of Fame someday," she said.