Wrigley Co. says it will not negotiate with Cubs owner Sam Zell to purchase Wrigley Field's naming rights. "We try to put the spotlight on our brands, and not the Wrigley name, and that would be our bias in evaluating any opportunities."

Bill Murray apparently has some interest in being a Chicago Cubs announcer, a "cool retirement job -- after acting," he reportedly said to his big brother, Joel. As a side note, maybe Murray can use his vast amounts of wealth to purchase Wrigley's naming rights, too: Peter Venkman Field, anyone?

Last night's 96-95 Miami victory over the slumping Duke Blue Devils is old news. But this video of a Hurricanes fan getting "choke-slammed" as he rushes the court is worth watching. Hundreds of fans rushing the court and this guy gets singled out. Talk about bad luck.

Erin Meehan hopes to become the NFL's first female referee. "I have no life outside football," she says. "My religion is basically football." Some say she is too short, but 5'3" makes her about two inches taller than Doug Flutie, right?

Ligue and his son were the two idiots who rushed the field in 2002 so that they could beat the daylights out of K.C. Royals coach Tom Gamboa. For no reason. Seriously. None at all. "Both were restrained, ejected, and arrested. A knife was also found on the field afterwards." Where are they now?

The auction benefits kids with cancer. Simmons is going to throw in an autographed copy of his Red Sox book ("Now I Can Die in Peace") for whomever wins the auction. Smart money says that drives down the final auction price. Somewhere kids with cancer are cursing Bill Simmons. Just kidding. Classy move by a guy who otherwise makes me cringe. Then again, smart money says this wasn't his idea. Somewhere a PR person just got a raise.

Auction ends on Friday, February 15.

Honesty is the best policy. Unless of course a chance to meet your favorite player is on the line. In that case, lie your face off and pretend your kid has cancer. Not only did the parents dupe Yzerman, they also got the four-letter network in Bristol to write a tear-jerker for its magazine.