Dozens of musical acts performed at NCAA-sanctioned Final Four events, but reportedly there were zero hip-hop acts on the bill. What's up with that?

PS: Kid Rock a.k.a "Whitey McWhitefish" does not count as rap, OK? Rap-rock, yeah, but not rap.

Pacman is throwing a party this weekend at Nite Lite in the ATL. No joke. "PARTY STARTS AT 12AM & WE GON MAKE IT RAIN!" Ladies drink free. Guys, bring Kevlar.

Search warrants, affidavits, cash and property seizures, high-end prostitutes, and here's the kicker: pro athletes.

Louisville CB Rod Council allegedly entered a convenience store and brandished what appeared to be a nine-millimeter Uzi. Apparently robbing people with an Uzi is against the law. Even for marginally elite athletes.

Boston Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett appears to have gotten a little lazy with his off-season conditioning. Either that or he's auditioning for the part of Jared Fogle in the upcoming "Subway" movie.

"Sports governing bodies and anti-doping agencies must show that the use of any prohibited substance in sport is unacceptable. However, there are degrees of abuse. There are those that try to con the system and their competitors. And then there are those who have been reckless in a social context. There is a clear distinction between the two, and perhaps this distinction has not been appropriately recognized by those who regulate drug use in sport."

"Two days after losing in the most-watched Super Bowl ever, New England Patriots defensive back Willie Andrews was busted in Lowell, Mass., on charges of marijuana possession and driving an unregistered motor vehicle, according to the Middlesex District Attorney's Office."

No word yet on whether or not he was with Pacman Jones.

"I wouldn't mind watching a show to see Vick adjusting to life in prison — that would be tight. You know, footage of him getting Bubba'd in the shower with soap suds seeping down … never mind. But a reality show about the dogs trying to resocialize? That's incredible. Who would've guessed that these dogs would be playing on Sundays on TV before their owner was!"

Reality TV needs to go away. Unless they wanna give Pacman Jones his own reality TV show. That would be classic. Anyway, 22 of Vick's dogs are in Utah at an animal sanctuary called Dogtown. Probably a big upgrade from Vick's Bad Newz Kennels. The show can be found on the National Geographic Channel.

Starting Monday, some medical-marijuana patients will be able to get their medicine from a vending machine, even after-hours when the club is closed. Twenty bucks says Pacman Jones has already inquired about getting one for his house.

New York's classiest news outlet, Page Six, reported today that Tom Brady was spotted entering "a building on Seventh Avenue NYC with several medical offices." When the hair-loss specialists were phoned and asked whether or not Brady had been there, the response suggested that he very well may have been.

Oh, snap!

"Golfweek magazine replaced the editor responsible for illustrating the current cover with a noose and apologized Friday for its depiction of a Golf Channel anchor's use of "lynch" in a comment about Tiger Woods."

How is it that the woman who uses the word "lynch" gets suspended but the journalist who covers it gets fired? That's not fair.