Fantasy sports, Atlanta Braves, the Intimidator's son be damned. When Ken Griffey Jr. (the only Junior that really matters) steps to the dish, I just want to see long balls.

I want to win fantasy championships. But if the guy I'm playing has Kenneth on his squad, then I still hope he leaves the yard every healthy at-bat that he has. If my pitcher is facing Cincinati, then I hope he goes 9 innings, 27k's, 4 hits (all Griffey HR's), 3 ER, no BB, and the win.

*About those 3 ER on 4 HR's, in the 6th inning, my pitcher's defense commits an error after 2 outs, and Junior connects for his 3rd homer of the game on a 2-run shot, and none of those runs are charged to my pitcher, but then Brandon Phillips gets K'd to end the inning.

When my favorite team (the ATL Bravos) are visiting the Big Red Machine, and Griffey comes up in the bottom of the 9th, with the game tied and John Smoltz on the bump: I really want the Braves to win, I really really want Smoltzie to win this battle of future Canton neighbors, BUT, at the same time, I'm actually hope Kenneth Jr. hits a walk-off job to break my heart.

In somewhat less invested jargon, I hope that Dale Jr succeeds with Hendrick Motorsports. I hope that he accomplishes at least half of his dad's win total, and then I hope NASCAR fans are reasonable enough to realize that 37 wins is still a hell of a feat, and stop comparing little Dale to the Intimidator. But mostly, I want Ken Griffey Junior to be the only Junior that people care about. I want people to cheer on Griffey's march to become just the 3rd member of baseball's 700 HR club the way NASCAR fans cheer them some Earnhart.

*About Griff being the 3rd member of the 700 HR club… yeah… that wasn't a typo, there are currently only 2 members in that club.

For some reason, people aren't geeked about the Kid doing what only 3 others have in hitting 600 career long balls. In an Era when most of our baseball Titans have proved to be less like actually Running Man Champions, and more like Captain Freedom (for those that aren't big enough losers to actually get that reference: Captain Freedom, played by the former governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura, deceived the fans by killing a fake Ben Richards, played by the current governor of California, on a popular execution tv show).

*Yeah… about doing what only 3 others have in hitting 600 HR, that also wasn't a typo. Willie, Babe, and Hank…

I know, I know… Kenneth had his injury problems, but regardless, he is a legend, and when we look back at his career, instead of saying "I remember where I was when I saw Ken Griffey Jr hit #600," we're going to be saying, "I remember where I was when Sportscenter replayed Ken Griffey Jr's #600." The fanfare is minor. As I was watching the Softball College World Series Sunday morning, there was not cut over to the Braves vs. Reds game when Griffey came to bat in the 7th. I flipped over to TBS to see if they cut away from the Marlins vs Phillies game to show Griffey's AB, but no dice… perhaps I got there right after he was already intentially walked. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe there is a lot more coverage than I'm seeing. I hope I'm wrong, and I hope that by the time Griff is lauded again as he was back when he was building Seattle's empire it isn't too late.

*by the by… how lame of ATL to intentionally walk Kenneth in that particular situation.

Alfonso Soriano is currently in the process of going Mike Tyson on the Pittsburgh Pirates. Which is to say that Pirate pitchers are Pitt's babies, and Soriano is Tyson wanting to eat them.

Yesterday Fonso was 2-4 with 2 yaks and 4 ribs.

So far today, Fonso is 4-4 with 2 more yaks and 3 more ribs... and he still may come up to bat again in the 9th.

In summary, 6-8, 4 yarders, and 7 platers.

Pirates may just consider underhand pitching him and hoping he hurts hisself swinging out of the shoes.

13-year Old Texan stole his dad's credit card to buy hookers...

...Mack Brown is now interested in hiring the 13-year old to satisfy the same position at Texas that Joe Hamilton recently screwed up at GTech.

p.s. I was also considering going with this one: Adam Pacman will be enlisting the young man's services so that the paper trail for all hookering goes to Mr. Hardy's credit card instead of his own.

This is the day that Tony Romo realized that it was the beginning of the end. Happy Birthday Tony! Joe Simpson brought the clown. Seriously, would you look at everyone's faces. Tony. Is. Biting. His. Fingernails. Dude behind Jessica is texting Romo as the picture is snapped: "Mo, this was fun while it lasted. I'll go start the car, when you hear me honk twice, run!"

Sure, Nick Lachey's left-overs expedited the process of getting dumped by gushing to US Weekly that Tony was her "future husband" (why do I get the impression this is the first time he heard about this) and that he reintroduced her to herself (sounds crazy).

Anyway, I really hate writing about celebutards and whatnot, but I feel like she is almost forcing me to.

Here's the thing, I believe in second chances, but I really hate infidelity, so my little ruggedly insides go all Singing in the Rain when Jessica Simpson's and Britney Spear's cheating asses fall on hard times. Having said that, I wish Jessica every luck in not falling as far as Britney did. And Let's be honest, we all fully expect to see Matt Leinart and Jessica Simpson hot tub pictures on theDirty.com within the next week or two.

This does have sports world implications too:

Believe it or not Cowboy fans, this was the worst thing that could have happened for you next season. You may not have liked Jessica coming to big D, but she at least gave Romo one woman go home to. Now that he's single and Pacman Jones is in town, there will be late nights. Just like with Tank Johnson supplying the arms, and Roy Williams rippin dudes' collars from behind, There Will be Blood.

No worries, I heard Jerry is planning on signing Team Chemistry to a $30 Mil deal after July 1.

The improper benefits issue is a covertly systematic form of racism. I am NOT just rabble rousing, and I am NOT calling those people who are offended by improper benefits 'racist'. However, we need to consider the young men whom are frequently at the epicenters of the biggest scandals. Because they are in fact just that, young men with eyes set on a golden ticket and a chance to deliver their families from poverty. Conventional wisdom might tell some of us that if the golden ticket were there at a young age, then it would still be there when a person were officially eligible to receive money.

While it would be hard to put yourself in those shoes, try to think about how far away that payday must seem to a teenage boy with the weight of saving his family on his shoulders. Mike Golic thinks that age has nothing to do with this. He thinks these kids all know what they're doing when they take money and other expensive gifts from questionable characters. Perhaps they do Golic, and perhaps immediate relief for their families with a slightly tarnished name is more important than struggling to get by for another year or three just to keep a squeaky clean reputation.

Yadda yadda yadda, how do you solve the problem?

First off, let's stop pretending that improper benefits don't happen. The sooner we can accept that reality, the sooner we can begin weighing realistic solutions. Improper benefits have happened in the past (this we know), they are happening now (this we pretend to not know until someone rats someone else out), and they will continue to happen (this I think we refuse to accept), so why not legalize the process and establish sanctions therein?

The solution is really that easy, but the NCAA will never even consider it, because college athletes are amateurs (!), and to allow them to receive money or other items of value would compromise the integrity of college athletics(!!!). But to allow the kids to take money with a promise to eventually sign with that company allows these kids to legally and prematurely access the money that would otherwise lure them out of college abruptly. If the money is promised independent of the university that the athlete chooses, the fairness of recruiting competition would probably increase to boot, as smaller schools with smaller boosters wouldn't be edged out by Jerry Tarkanian-like gentlemen with specific universities' interests in mind. These stipulations solve the problem of who is getting money, who is giving the money, how much money is changing hands, and what is promised in return.

Secondly, if a business wants to roll the dice on a 17-year-old kid, why should any one care to stop them? There are no guarantees, and an Agency could easily back a kid like Terrelle Pryor, and watch him turn into an "Xavier Lee". Likewise, a company could become financially tied to a kid that they thought would Carmelo-ize a situation, but he instead took a very Malik Hairston-like 4 year path to mediocrity. These kids are calculated investments for potential agents, agents who eventually will be leaching off of the success of these kids. So why shouldn't the athletes be allowed to capitalize on their own talent when they have the opportunity? If a student athlete with wealthy parents, and a student athlete with poorer parents both want to continue playing and studying in college, but the student with the poorer family has a greater sense of urgency tied to his professional pay day, then he CAN'T stay in school as long as the other kid can.

Yes, that's right, some of these student athletes want to be in college. A chance to begin and possibly complete a 4-year degree while learning from a college level coach, and preparing their body against college competition for the pounding it will take against men twice their age. Hard theory to swallow? That's fine, join the crowd of people ready to assign these young people a mentality that is completely self-serving, that cares only for money.

Analysts, On-Air personalities, old people stuck in old ways. They'll all tell you that improper benefits are destroying college sports. Writers at FOX Sports, writers at Yahoo!, writers as Si.com, and writers at the World Wide Leader is using this case to put the NBA's age limit on blast, question the integrity of the kids, the agents, the coaches, the universities. Some that fall in line with this type of thinking suggest that if these kids feel like they are ready to make the jump to the professional ranks, then they should be allowed to make the jump to the professional ranks. Then these universities would not be put into such a tenuous situation with 1-and-done players potentially flirting with the line of what is proper and what is an improper benefit.

Really? Is that the place that we've come to? When all of the sudden it is better to say:

"to hell with college, higher education, and the opportunity to better prepare these young men before sending them diving head long into the biggest stage in professional sports,"

than it is to say:

"perhaps the rules need amending in order to preserve the integrity and quality of both the college and professional games, and to encourage all young athletes to go to school"?

STOP LOOKING AT THE PAST! Here is today: different. All the bright lights of the big stage are even brighter. Rims are bigger. Bling twinkles more. The allure of riches and a life free of poverty is more alluring. But poor is still poor, and the difference between rich and poor is that much bigger. Call it greed if you have to, but it's time to start accommodating these young men that are going to take the money anyway, AND stop ignoring them and then slandering them after they get caught doing what we already know they're doing.

If the NCAA could pull its head out of the sand, it would see that this is a situation that cannot be monitored in its current state: underneath the table. Despite the recent whistle blowing, it is important to know that these events have unearthed but a small fraction of the extra aid that many college stars get. It happens at every school. A car lot wants to up its image with the college kids, so they "help" get a couple high profile players into a shiny set of wheels. A club wants to be the new hot spot so it lets the star athletes have VIP status, free drinks, no cover, etc., what-have-you. A booster wants to be the cool guy with the city's most famous crowd, so he/she pads the pockets of some hungry college kids.

Listen folks, the NCAA can continue being like the US Government in its battle against marijuana, or it can set the standard for accepting change. Recognize when a situation is inevitable and unmanageable. This is not like the MLB trying to monitor steroids. These are sports agents and agencies that are trying to grease the door to slide in, and they can be held accountable if they are given a set of rules to play by. Right now there are just some yet to be established agents taking advantage of the fact that they have nothing to lose. If the big boys were allowed to play in the game too, then the guys in the shadows would not have that same leverage. If the NCAA, NBA and NFL required that any agents engaging in Good Trust deals with young athletes enter into a binding contract that is necessarily independent of Universities, then they could monitor the flow of monies.

Assumptions:

- Money and gifts are reported and taxable.

- Money and gifts are good faith contributions. (i.e. if the athlete does not sign a pro contract, the athlete is not required to pay the full amount)

- Contracts are binding, and neither the athlete, nor the agency can exit the contract prior to the end of the athletes' eligibility.

- Contracts will not contain stipulations regarding choice of school, staying in or at a particular school, performance based incentives, academic based incentives.

- Athletes will still maintain amateur status regarding endorsements.

I know this is tough to wrap the head around, and I'm sure I didn't nail all the kinks. But if improper benefits won't ever stop (and they won't), and neither the athletes nor the agents can be held accountable after the fact, then we can all keep playing dumb and then acting shocked, or we can begin looking for ways to have control over the situation, and find a way of making someone accountable.

Boys over at Extra Mustard were debated who's little black book is more impresive: Derek Jeter or John Mayer?

I'm so disappointed that the real Little Black Book World Champion wasn't included in the conversation.

The Winner and his resume:

I was reading some bits from the Fanhouse, and saw that Buster Olney is reporting the MLB Player's Union is investigating possible collusion regarding Barry Bond's current unemployment.

This just in: it is apparently collusion if people that are not interested in you, do not enlist your services.

In completely unrelated news, I'm hiring counsel to investigate possible collusion by Tina Fey and Meagan Good. You see, I'm a really good guy, and I know I could be a really good man for either of them (or both… at once). I just feel like they are must be colluding to keep me from the role of kept man.

In what was the fastest game in College Basketball history, the Kansas Jayhawks beat the top seeded North Carolina Tarheels in just 10 minutes of play.

After the UCLA Bruins inexplicably launched triples left and right instead of dumping the ball down to the trusty Kev Love, or having Russell just get to the rim whenever they had the chance to swing momentum, Memphis was the 1st team to punch its ticket for the Monday night throwdown for National Championship hardware. In the night cap, Bill Self's team dismantled a UNC team that many had tabbed as National Champs already.

"Give Oden a break" sounds like some talk by some people trying to suck up to the Man Child. At least I can only hope this, because I'd like to think that Blaze Nation is smarter than to think Portland's professional training staff doesn't know better than Greg does what is best for Microfracture recovery. Don't get it twisted, I like the guy too, and I can empathize with having to sit on the DL while the team is playing games. But let's not kid ourselves into thinking that wanting to play real bad is a viable excuse to risk everything on a pick-up game.

Sure, I bet his knee did fully heal 2 months ago, and I'm sure that Penny Hardaway, Jamal Mashburn, Chris Webber, Terrell Brandon, Allan Houston all thought they were fully healed when they rushed back too early from the procedure, and did more damage by prematurely returning to the court. But here's the thing, overly cautious is the route that works for Microfracture surgery. I think Portland's training staff did a pretty good job at returning Zach Randolph to pre-surgery form ( not that pre-surgery form was very athletic to begin with for Zebo).

The thing is that if you're playing some pick-up games with a bunch of scrubs, they could get out of control trying to look cool for G.Ode, and despite the fact that Greg said he wasn't running hard or anything, one of these other dudes that doesn't have anything to lose could have done something dumb and ruined Five Deuce's career real quick.

I'm anxious for next year. I feel bad for the kid. I wish him nothing but the best. I just don't think 2 hours of run at the gym is worth the next 10 years though.

It's gettin a little played out to just blame the refs every time your favorite team loses or your least favorite squad wins. Check the scoreboard at the end of the game, read it, and quit actin like, well, use your imagination.

We did learn something about conference ratings though. The Pac-10 was the strongest at the top (Top 3 teams all still alive), the Big East had the best depth (Regular season and conference tourney champs gone, but 3 teams still alive including a 12 seed), and the ACC was once again overrated.

CLICK the LINK FOR MUCH MORE MUSINGS: Stephen Curry, UNC vs. WAZZU, Poor Pitt, Disappointing UCONN, Adam Morrison the serial killer

Will someone please ask Caron Butler to stop tackling Brandon Roy.

As the 1st quarter winded down, Caron coralled the ball near the halfcourt circle, took a few dribble steps in, and prepped to launch a 35 footer.

Only problem is that iRoy was waiting for Caron, jumped straight up to block Caron's potentially triple, or at least alter the shot, forcing a different release than Butler had intended.

No problem for Butler, just heave the ball toward the rim and pull down Brandon so he knows not to try and block his shot again.

BUSH LEAGUE. Wish I could find a video of the take down. If you saw it, you know I'm not making this up. If you didn't see it, you probably think I'm being a rabble rouser... and that's cool too. I'm just glad that the remaining Blazers beat a Wiz team that won 6 of their last 7, and without our top two scorers.

2-man race in my eyes… I'll toss out some others just because.

1. Lavelle Hawkins, Cal WR

2. Tom Zbikowski, Notre Dame SS

I know Zbikowski should lose points just for being a Notre Dame alum, but...

(click for rest of the list...)

When you read things like this:

"If the New York Knicks trade Randolph and either Eddy Curry or Jamal Crawford for short-term deals, they can be under the cap and in the bidding for King James."

This sort of thing just illustrates the make believe world that the once proud New York Knicks currently reside in. As if Jimmy Dolan, Zeke Thomas, and Starbury weren't cartoonish enough, the media and the delusional fans feed even more into the fantasy that success is possible here.

When year after year, you continue making trash acquisitions like Randolph Morris, Malik Rose, Quentin Richardson, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry, Jerome James, Jared Jeffries, Penny Hardaway, Maurice Taylor, and Jerome Williams for absurdly high prices, there is no other way to turn things around but to wait out their crappy contracts and start anew. However, your refusal to rebuild necessarily requires you to find someone dumber (not 'more dumb'… but dumber) than you to take those ridiculous contracts off your hands, or you'll have to continue landing Balkmans, Lees, and Robinsons at the end of the 1st round or in the 2nd round. (i.e. it is impossible)

It's not all your fault though. I know everyone keeps telling you it's not as bad as it sounds, so of course you're not going to throw in the towel. When Carmelo Anthony asks Stephen A. Smith for directions in their NBA tour bus, and Stephen A. responds by tooting that the New York Knickerbocker horn, you NYers believed him. And that's honorable of you to trust Stephen A., Isaiah and Dolan, but here's the thing: Don't.

(click link for rest of entry...)

So I have three 1's and a 2 in San Antonio. I like UCLA with a healthy Collison to beat UT and I like UNC to beat KU in an absolute classic. UCLA. UNC. Battle of the titans for sure! How hyped would this match-up be? The two Psycho T vs KLove. Collison vs Lawson. Westbrook's stifling D vs Wayne Ellington's smooth O. This would be an absolute classic and hey, I'm a UCLA homer, who do you think I got cuttin down the nets? UCLA wins their 12th title and all is right in the world.

Wanna know how we got to this point? click...

My boy Pete doing a little recapping of the Left Coast's Championship week action... and one of few still endorsing Ernie Kent. I know, WHAT?

good read, ya'll join in the discussion.