After a thorough review by a nine-member panel at the New York City Civilian Review Board yesterday, it was ruled by a 6-3 margin that
New York Mets' third baseman, David Wright's girlfriend, Molly Beers, has enough positive qualities to masturbate about. "We feel that Ms. Beers assets are worthy of late nights spent with your laptop and some quiet time," said Ernest Rabinowicz, one of the panel voters...