Mexico's Lucha Libre, has a new breed of professional wrestlers, effeminate fighters called "Exotics." The signiture move of Maximo is a kiss on the lips of his fallen opponent. I bet Vince McMahon can't wait to get John Cena to agree to changing his image.

We know about these infractions....

Aug 2004: Reponds to Steinbrenner's request for former Yankeee, Sal Fasano, to shave his mustache. "You know Fasano is the type of guy who knows a guy that knows a guy."

Sept 2004: Criticizes Shawn Green for missing a game on Yom Kippur. "He's not even a practicing Jew."

NLDS 2006: Pokes fun of a blind Mets fan for wearing funny-looking glasses. "He's got a digital camera stuck to his face."

ALCS 2006: Fired by Fox Sports for making racially insensitive remarks in reference to Marco Scutaro while sharing the booth with Hispanic-blooded Lou Piniella. "I still can't find my wallet."

Back in 2002, while on vacation with his family in Hawaii, Lyons asked a woman (staying in the same hotel with her husband) to expose her breasts in the elevator. When she refused, he grabbed her wrists and said, "you know, you've been wanting to do this all day . . . so let's just move over here," dragging her to a dark alcove. One lawsuit and a $175,000 settlement later, the incident still won't go away because Lyons tried to cover some of the settlement with his homeowner's insurance.

Apparently, he has undergone diversity training. Maybe he should take sexual harrassement 101 and a beginner's insurance course.

OK, we get the King Kong comparison. But are we looking too deeply into decisions made by editors to sell magazines? Guess what? It's working.

The midget with plastic hair has a message...

"It's one thing if somebody just sets up a blog from their mother's basement in Albuquerque and they are who they are, and they're a pathetic get-a-life loser, but now that pathetic get-a-life loser can piggyback onto someone who actually has some level of professional accountability and they can be comment No. 17 on Dan Le Batard's column or Bernie Miklasz' column in St. Louis. That, in most cases, grants a forum to somebody who has no particular insight or responsibility. Most of it is a combination of ignorance or invective.''

"It's just a high-tech place for idiots to do what they used to do on bar stools or in school yards, if they were school yard bullies, or on men's room walls in gas stations. That doesn't mean that anyone with half a brain should respect it.''

I say we donate the rest of the weekend to giving this pompous little prick his well-deserved proverbial beat-down. A sort of "Welcome to the Yard, Bob." Will Leitch from Deadspin leads off.

I guess he's tired of babying a 40-year-old addict with a shrinking liver, black lungs and a fast-deteriorating golf game. But if there's a tent full of wings, beer, and boobs just a few holes down, what else are you going to do during a 2 1/2 hour rain delay? I'm just surprised JD still cares enough to even have an instructor at this point.

Daly's former coach: "My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life. And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."

As much sh*t-talking as Sheffield does, he's right on the money here. I wish more players would come out of their greedy little shells and bash Boras for the scoundrel he is. While he's still got several huge clients, he's been losing big names for the past five years now and I hope this trend continues. The Bob Sugars of the world should not have Karma on their side.

Another Jason McElwain type story, albeit not as legendary, but inspiring nonetheless. You have to love kids that are able to do what they love and deal with down syndrome or autism amidst the nastiness of teenage peers. Now that is courage.

Apparently, allowing a woman to ref a basketball game "would be putting a woman in a position of authority over boys … a scenario that was contrary to beliefs at St. Mary's Academy."

A private, Catholic high school training boys to become shovenist pigs. Nice. And they say the public school system in America sucks.

We all need a comical public service announcement from the 80s to brighten our day. I don't know what's better. The V-neck sweater, the Charles In Charge haircut, or the complete BS coming out of his mouth. You can tell he's trying so hard not to crack up.

Since I opened the bag about Parker's alleged mistress two weeks ago, I felt it was only fair to clear his name in the Yard. So my preconceptions about the celebrity marriage were true after all--Tony is Eva's boy toy and worships the ground she walks on. I will now revert back to calling him TL (Tony Longoria).

TL is suing the celebrity website X17onine.com that released the story for $20 million. Apparently, French model Alexandra Paressant is a pathological liar. Her relationship with Ronaldhino was completely fabricated. None of the photos on her MySpace page are even her. The photo below? Supposedly her, but it might be a Mr. Potato Head superimposed, airbrush creation. Whatever it is, it sure got my blood flowing.

Maybe I should stop calling him Tony Longoria and start calling him Pepe Le Pew. At his very own wedding, while Eva was fixing her bangs for the 183rd time that day, he caught the eye of this pictured model that used to boink Ronaldhino. They exchanged numbers, began texting and soon were meeting up for some hardcore sexcapades. Is the great Spurs dynasty about to unravel before our very eyes? What's next, Duncan caught in the Red Light District with a peg-legged prostitute?

Numero Uno on the list is A-Rod. We all know how much he likes strip clubs and who knows what critters he has brought home to his wife. Maybe Mrs. A-Rod's notorious "F__ You" shirt is directed at some crab-infested dancer from Scores who decided to make a little extra one night

Nobody will ever mistake Jack Nicholson for Jack Nicklaus, but it sounds like The Joker can play a little golf. A 64 at 60 years old? Very impressive. If I could choose two dudes 60+ years old to play around of 18 and hit the bars with afterwards, it would have to be Jack and Joe Pesci. "What am I clown? Do I amuse you?"

Sean Taylor has died. Just in case you haven't read the 30 or so blogs "breaking" the story over the last five hours, you have ME to thank.

Despite living out of a $13 Million Manhattan apartment in Trump Towers for several years, Jeter has been claiming Florida residency on his W-2 since 1994. So a $20 Million salary and several millions more in endorsements are not enough that you got to cheat the government? Cry me a river, Derek. You have three World Series rings, get any chick you want, and are the most beloved athlete in the biggest sports market on earth. $70,000 may be ridiculous for property taxes, but fork it over.