Well, good Lord. I go on a little business travel, walk away from this thing for a few weeks and this is the world I return to? Kentucky playing South Carolina to decide who's the Beast in the East? A morning after in which half the top ten takes a demotion? In which, via transitive football herpes, USF looks like the best team in the Sunshine State (USF>Auburn>Florida>Miami & FSU)? In which the bloom is suddenly and emphatically off the Urban Meyer rose?

Seriously, I feel like I've returned home to find the kid has turned into Teen Wolfe, the wife has run off with a lesbian biker gang and Britney Spears' career is fully restored.

Years ago, in response to a Georgia loss to Georgia Tech, Lewis Grizzard made syndicated newspaper history, publishing a column that was almost empty, save for declaration above.

When South Carolina intercepted a Matt Stafford pass in the final seconds of Saturday's game, I was tempted to honor Grizzard with a similar post. But doing so would be neither original nor genuine of me, just a cop out. So I'll press on.

I don't think the Gators are the USC of the SEC or its "undisputed alpha." At least, not yet. Given the momentum and resources they've amassed and their investment going forward, I think they're a threat to take that mantle. That's why I used terms like "menace" and "danger," as in, the Germans were a "threat," "menace" and "danger" to placing Europe under their collective boot heel, although history records a different outcome. I hope that those who made it to the bottom of yesterday's admittedly long-winded fretting found evidence that Georgia (and several other SEC teams, for that matter) are eminently capable of blunting Florida's advance.

Some will argue that Florida's emergence will benefit the entire SEC, as the national exposure and television and bowl riches will trickle down to the rest of us. I contend that the SEC is in danger of becoming the Pac-10, with Florida playing the role of USC as the conference's undisputed alpha.

Alright, so fast-forward to the present, which from a college football perspective, bears all the lush, verdant promise one feels when heading east out of Indio, California: Not yet oblivion, but right on its cusp. Having closed things out with the retina-searing image of a crystal football in gator hands, we now look forward to National Signing Day. After that, well let's just say it's a long damn way to Phoenix.

Basically, what the football gods have left us with is the cleanup from a lot of rolled coaches' heads and, for any D-1 program looking to move Jamie Newberg's meter on Signing Day, all that blood should have been mopped up well before now.

Alas, the 12 Saturdays of Christmas are behind us, leaving only a few dozen meaningless bowl games, including one that likely will prove what we already know: Ohio State runs this joint and everyone else is just furniture. But vultures like me love to pick the bones of this season's carcass to try to make some Brunswick Stew out of it. So, without further ado …

Beating Auburn is like pouring the new Beaujolais. It's not nearly enough to merely consume it. You must savor it fully; really give the palette a workout and make sure you capture the full bouquet.

This year's edition â€" Georgia's 700th win all-time â€" was a 37-15 undressing, capped by Georgia taking a knee at the Auburn 7 with just under three minutes remaining. Georgia's triumph on the so-called Loveliest Village on the Plains was the Bulldogs' most emphatic thrashing of a top-five team in 64 years.

Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema takes a colossal step outside of Barry Alvarez's shadow with this bit of pre-halftime special teams genius. On first viewing, I was left so speechless I could little else but wish him the best of luck shopping for trousers massive enough to accommodate his considerable brass. God help anyone behind him in an airport security line.