For years The United States has been in a steady decline not only in oil production and moral value, but in sports dominance. It was not that long ago when American Athletes were considered unbeatable, defeating teams on the worldwide scale to the point of embarrassment. Keep in mind that we are the country where phrases like "running up the score", "posterizing", and the "home run pose" were born. Sure other countries had a good handle on sports that did not matter to Americans (i.e. soccer), but the US would consistently flex its muscle to dominate the mainstream. The most prominent example of U.S dominance was the the Olympic Dream Team. Universally recognized as the greatest basketball team ever assembled, they took pride in dismantling any chumps/competition that stood before them. Currently things are different here in the States. We no longer dominate like we used to. The more recent Dream Teams have had nightmarish results. Starting with a disastrous 6thplace finish in the 2002 FIBA World Championships our boys have lost to the likes of Puerto Rico (by 19), Lithuania, and Argentina. Not only have we lost our grip on basketball, the same goes for baseball. Our national pastime has been adopted and refined by multiple nations. This became evident during the most recent World Baseball Classic when Japan ousted Puerto Rico in the championship game. The United States could do nothing but make excuses and then recruit these foreign champions to the MLB. No matter how bad things look for the U.S, there will always be something we can do better then anyone…eat. American glutton/hero Joey Chestnut proved this by defending his Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Championship, keeping the coveted Mustard Belt on home soil. For the second consecutive year Chestnut, the Clay Aiken of Bacon, "chipmunked" his way past the heavy favorite Kobayashi on his way to the title. This year Kobayashi sent the contest to a sudden death 5 dog eat off, but Chestnut would have none of it. He stuffed down the last of his overtime dogs, defeating Kobayashi and giving America a much needed boost of patriotism. Our countries glamorous gorging does not stop with hot dogs, Americans hold eating titles in everything from bologna to turducken (all records can be found at the International Federation of Competitive Eating or IFOCE website…seriously). Who needs gold medals from the Dream Team or international baseball championships? As we send our athletes off to defend our countries honor in China, let us not lose track of what we already have. American hero Joey Chestnut and his international title. A Mustard Belt of glory concealing an elastic waist-band of shame.
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