It was 1999. Young 9-year-old Eric had it all. Recess, gym class, backyard baseball, TRL, Randy Moss… but most importantly, appointment wrestling television between competing companies every Monday night.
Back then, in the good ole days, life was just different. For example, it was completely normal for males age 8 to 14 to tell just about everyone they came in contact with to “suck it” while making humping gestures into their crossed forearms.
Sure, some adults frowned upon such nefarious gestures. Cross-chopping at the wrong time might even land you on the sideline for part of recess. But overall, the ‘suck it’ trend was an unstoppable force that was mostly accepted, even by non-wrestling fans. It was quite the time to be alive.
It all started with a WWF (now WWE) wrestling group called D-Generation X. But we don’t need to get into that (though you should in your own time). What matters is that those days are long gone. Nobody, no matter the age, can get away with telling those around them to ‘suck it’ anymore.
Even as a card-carrying member of ‘suck it’ nation back then, I’m not sure how I would handle a random 10-year-old yelling “suck it” and cross-chopping at me in aisle 14 at Walmart. I mean, something like that would be a downright jarring experience for most people in 2024.
Anthony Edwards sends the ‘suck it’ cele
Speaking of 2024, let’s fast forward about about 25 years. The Minnesota Timberwolves took a 2-0 series lead into Phoenix late Friday night for a game-3 that the Suns needed to win, in order to have any hopes of making this a competitive series. Instead, it followed the same script from games one and two.
The Wolves won 126-109 and, by Q4, it was a yawn fest. But as said 4th quarter was coming to a close, blossoming superstar Anthony Edwards — who finished with 36 points, 9 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals and 11/11 from the line — did something I never would have expected… even from him. He hit the suck it cele.
Not just a quick chop and run, either. No. He chopped at least 8 times, in slow-ish motion, with full hip thrusts. Then, he stared down every fan in Footprint Center arena with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and a crazed look in his eyes.
It was, by far, the most egregious ‘suck it’ that I have seen in two decades. Right there, on national TV, for everyone to see. And it was absolutely fantastic.
Anthony Edwards is a dawg. I’ve never even typed that word before. He is everything that embodies an absolute superstar athlete with the exact killer mindset needed to lift up an entire state built on poverty sports franchises and lift them into a stratosphere that they never could have imagined sitting in, prior to his arrival.
No normal human being in 2024 would hit the DX suck it chops and if they were, it would be in a much more discrete fashion. But not Ant… he doesn’t care. All he knows is that when you tie Kevin Durant, Devin Booker and Bradley Beal into a 0-3 knot of basketball misery, you can do whatever you want, chops included.
After the game, Edwards was asked by Scott Van Pelt (ESPN) about what he feels late in games and, without flinching or even breaking a smile, Ant responded by saying, “I just want to kill everything in front of me, man, that’s pretty much it.”
I love playoff Ant so much.
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