Jonathan Gannon. Joel Angel Juarez/The Republic / USA TODAY NETWORK

Cardinals hope Jonathan Gannon coaches better than he commands a room

Jonathan Gannon hasn’t coached one game yet for the Arizona Cardinals, and already many are penciling the team in for a 0-17 season after a viral video showed the first-year head coach delivering potentially the most mind-numbing pep talk in the history of pep talks.

The video clip, which was used to promote the latest episode of the “Cards Flight Plan” series on the team’s YouTube channel, begins with a lifeless “welcome back” from Gannon, who proceeds to ask a series of questions that seemingly have nothing to do with one another, all while scratching his head as if he’s realized he’s in the wrong room on the first day of class.

“Who drove over here?” Gannon asked. “Quick, let me see your hands. Who took the bus? Did you have fire in your gut? Did you? We’re here for a reason. Don’t get that twisted, O.K.? We’re here for a reason to win games. So if you didn’t have that fire in your gut, you better light the fire pretty fast. Be who you are. Just understand, I’m looking for f—ing killers.”

True to form, social media raked Gannon over the coals — and rightfully so — for his lack of charisma and the underwhelming reaction his message seemed to elicit from his players.

The responses to the rookie head coach’s attempt at firing up a team that went 4-13 last season and projected to pick first in the draft next year were cold, clever and comical, and highlighted the true absurdity that Gannon did indeed interview with the Cardinals multiple times and was still hired.

It’s clear the Cardinals, who plan to start Joshua Dobbs at quarterback and James Conner at running back, don’t expect to be very competitive in 2023. Understandable given that quarterback Kyler Murray still recovering from a torn ACL and is expected to miss most or all of the season.

But the Cardinals still have a solid core of young players to build around including five-time Pro Bowl safety Budda Baker (27), a pair of budding receivers in Marquise Brown (26) Rondale More (23), an emerging tight end in Trey McBride (23), a former top-16 pick in linebacker Zaven Collins (24) and rookie edge-rusher B.J. Ojulari, who totaled 22.5 tackles for loss and 16.5 sacks during his time at LSU.

And if Arizona’s 2024 draft haul includes USC quarterback Caleb Williams and Ohio State receiver Marvin Harrison Jr. like many believe it will, the team can’t expect two potential superstars to reach their potential under a head coach whose greatest concern is which mode of transportation his players used to get to the stadium.

More must-reads:

TODAY'S BEST
Suns make big decision on head coach Frank Vogel
14-year-old phenom signs unprecedented MLS deal that includes future Man City transfer
Pacers coach claims officials are biased against 'small market' teams
Hall of Famer makes bold prediction about Russell Wilson, Steelers
49ers Hall of Fame CB Jimmy Johnson dies
Rams make surprising move with former team captain
NBA announces discipline for Bucks' Patrick Beverley
Hall of Fame RB defends Najee Harris after Steelers decline fifth-year option
Pacers file shocking number of questionable calls after Game 2 loss vs. Knicks
Former NBA star says Anthony Edwards becomes face of the NBA if Wolves knock off Nuggets
Hornets hire top Celtics assistant as next head coach
Maple Leafs fire HC Sheldon Keefe after another early playoff exit
Super Bowl champion discusses why Russell Wilson failed with Broncos
Colts LB Zaire Franklin calls out Texans, C.J. Stroud
Angels to acquire longtime Mets infielder from Braves
Giants sign former Pro Bowl wide receiver
Report reveals why the NBA did not suspend Jamal Murray
Pressure mounts on Nuggets as Nikola Jokic wins third MVP Award
Jalen Brunson shakes off injury to lift Knicks to Game 2 win
Panthers dominate Bruins to even series