Jeff Fisher is the unkillable cockroach of NFL head coaches

Even for a franchise like the Rams it seemed too easy for Jeff Fisher to collect his annual nine or more losses and get a contract extension without encountering any resistance.

So it should be at least a little reassuring that Eric Dickerson is pleading for Fisher’s ouster as Rams coach after four losing seasons and what’s shaping up to be a fifth. Dickerson has brought momentum for change to a fan base still finding its legs after a return to Los Angeles. After all, the locals aren’t the ones who have been through the full span of Fisher’s tenure. To them, this is just a poor inaugural season.

Rams COO Kevin Demoff is sticking to that reasoning. Talking with NFL Network’s Steve Wyche, Demoff said, "Everybody will want to judge Jeff through the prism of just the record, but that’s totally unfair when you look at the set of circumstances he was handed this year. It was different than any team in the NFL."

That doesn’t sound like a coach with much to worry about the rest of 2016. Perhaps Fisher’s job security should have been apparent in the way he was allowed to stow the no. 1 pick in the draft, Jared Goff, away for most of the season before finally getting him under center in Week 11.

The Rams’ defense, the only promising aspect of the team aside from Todd Gurley and maybe punter Johnny Hekker, just came off a thrashing at the hand of the Saints, who whooped it up running up the score on defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. While the Rams defense is capable of good outings and winning games on their own, it’s far from capable of carrying a team to the postseason on its own.

Standing by the development of Jared Goff as the goal of 2016 is even more shaky with the emergence of Dak Prescott and Carson Wentz as quality starters before Goff even had a chance to play. It’s fair to say Dak has better weapons than Goff, but Wentz is playing well in spite of a lackluster receiving corps in Philly.

At this point, Fisher would need to close out with a winning record to even equal the “7-9 bull****” he condemned during the preseason. If he doesn’t, he’ll be the all-time leader in losses among head coaches in NFL history. Not much of a draw for a franchise looking to establish a following once the novelty wears off. The Rams don’t even lose in ways that are fun to watch. The new stadium may already be financed, and that’s half the battle with most NFL franchises. How do you build trust in the plan when the plan is the same as the market that came before?

Justin Tucker Makes a Point

After he booted a kickoff through the uprights on Sunday against the Bengals, as well as hit multiple field goals from beyond 50 yards, Ravens kicker Justin Tucker and coach John Harbaugh semi-jokingly lobbied for the NFL to make a kickoff through the uprights into a one-point play. Even if they were serious, it’d be in their self-interest, as Tucker is one of the best and more accurate kickers in the league.

There is some sense to it, at least inasmuch as the NFL is serious about lowering kick returns, which are the cause of a disproportionate amount of concussions compared to other facets of the sport. Letting kickers aim deep in the pursuit of another extra point of a sort would surely decrease the amount of short kicks that have proliferated this season.

The idea of a game being decided by a kickoff point is perhaps something fans would blanche at, since people generally aren’t in love with the idea of kickers deciding games as it is. If that’s too much of a game-altering consequence, there always the idea of making a kick through the uprights a benefit for field position. Put the offense inside the 20 with a successful make. Extended extra points show the NFL is interested in making those plays more dramatic. Similar progress can be made with kickoffs, while further decreasing the amount of returns.

It’s Cleat Week, Baby

NFL players are already ready with inventive cleat designs and sometimes even sneak them into games when security isn’t paying attention. This is the week they’re fair game, like Casual Friday at your office job. Only the cleats in question this week have to be promoting some sort of cause, instead of just being fun cleats. So it’s more like Woke Friday at the office. Ezekiel Elliott’s cleats drawing attention to pets makes for a precious design, yet it’s Jason Witten who is the Cowboys player dedicated his toward domestic violence awareness.

Plaster my cleats with thinking emojis. 

Red Zone bathroom pass

NFL watchability ratings are generally pointless. Everyone has access to the same prime time games and their quality typically corresponds to the night they’re broadcast. Sunday night is the best, Monday night is next, then there’s Thursday night and its unspeakable horrors.
Instead, here’s my expectation of how many bathroom breaks you might be able to get away with during a slate of games on Sunday. It’s generally going to be more difficult during the early slate because the NFL still insists on frontloading most of their Sunday nights into the early slot.

Early slate: Kansas City at Atlanta / Detroit at New Orleans / Los Angeles at New England / Denver at Jacksonville / Houston at Green Bay / Philadelphia at Cincinnati / Miami at Baltimore / San Francisco at Chicago

Expected breaks: One

There are at least four solid games in that slate, plus who wants to miss the giddy thrill of watching Jeff Fisher come within one loss of the all-time mark? And though San Francisco-Chicago looks too pathetic for words, sometimes equally woeful teams can produce entertaining games. It’s not something to bank on, but if it’s bad, just all the more reason for Red Zone to pay zero attention to it.

Late slate: Buffalo at Oakland / New York Giants at Pittsburgh / Washington at Arizona / Tampa Bay at San Diego

Expected breaks: Two

Giants/Steelers is the clear highlight of the late games, and possibly has a higher possibility of outlandish end zone dances of perhaps any combination of teams in the NFL, all thanks to Antonio Brown and Odell Beckham. That along is worth keeping an eye on. The Ryan brothers finally turning on each other and wrestling on the sideline as their playoff hopes are dashed in Oakland is certainly another.