NFL Kickoff: Week 3 - Pity the perpetually rebuilding Browns
The strongest force in the NFL at any given time is fortune’s inclination to screw over Cleveland. Granted, the Browns organization is usually willing to lend fate a hand in the service of making the team struggle, though it is remarkable how often one organization can be dealt a raw deal.
On Wednesday, rookie receiver Corey Coleman, the team’s 2016 first-round pick, suffered a broken hand in practice and is expected to miss four to six weeks. Coleman has been one of the few bright spots for Cleveland this season after posting 104 yards and two touchdowns in Sunday’s narrow loss to Baltimore. While there’s no circumstance where another injury to a key player is ideal, there’s just something so intensely cruel about Coleman going down in practice.
Cleveland has already gone through two quarterbacks in as many games, and now prepares to start rookie third-round pick Cody Kessler on Sunday on the road in Miami. One of the few blessings is there has to be zero expectation for Kessler to succeed given the loss of Coleman, the fact that Josh Gordon has still yet to return from suspension, and, of course, the fact that it’s the Browns.
The new brain trust in the front office hasn’t much bothered disguising the fact that the team is rebuilding and possibly even tanking this season for better draft position in 2017. To that end, what’s transpired so far can’t exactly be deemed a complete failure. The notion of trying to enact a culture change while rebuilding is a foolish one, though it would be productive for the young players who will help comprise the core of the Browns in the future to have some taste of success and not be demoralized before roster help arrives.
Meanwhile, the Steelers Have an Embarrassment of Riches at Running Back (For Now)
For the second season in a row, DeAngelo Williams has provided stellar relief for Pittsburgh in the running game in the absence of Le’Veon Bell. Through two weeks, Williams leads in the NFL in rushing yards with one week remaining until Bell returns from suspension. Part of DeAngelo’s remarkable story is that this success is coming at the age of 33. That factor is likely the only thing keeping him from ousting Bell in the Steelers' long-term plans in the backfield. Le’Veon will be a free agent after this season. Bell is one of the most talented backs in the league, but even if the suspension is the only thing that keeps him out in 2016, he’ll have missed 13 games over the last two seasons. That may help keep Bell’s asking price down somewhat in free agency. He’s still likely to command a considerable price and Pittsburgh, as loaded as they may be at the moment, may have to give in, unless they want to go forward with a 34-year-old back to start 2017.
The Ever-Growing Legend of Carson Wentz
An unexpected 2-0 start has brought all the doubters in line and now Philly is all-in on Carson Wentz, who has looked legitimately good in victories, albeit against the likes of Cleveland and Chicago. He gets his biggest test yet on Sunday against the Steelers. Pittsburgh’s defense did a good job of stifling the Bengals with coverage in last Sunday’s victory, though the pass rush is hardly overwhelming - the Steelers have yet to notch a sack in 2016. The biggest challenge will likely be keeping pace with Pittsburgh's potent offense if Philly’s attacking defense can’t keep it in line. The Eagles have an early Week 4 bye, which may not help Wentz a great deal later in the season, though it should do wonders for his hype if Philly goes into it at 3-0.
Finally, Something To Test Roger Goodell’s Steely Convictions
According to a Yahoo poll released this week, 44 percent of responders said they would stop watching the NFL if the national anthem protests by Colin Kaepernick and those he’s inspired continue. While it’s certainly fair to distrust the sincerity of those responding to an anonymous online poll, there are certainly those vowing to stop watching and attaching their name to it. If there were a substantive drop in viewership due to this issue, would Goodell and the league stand by its stance to respect the protest? Or would the commissioner personally don a Captain America outfit and bludgeon them with a shield until he could have his goon prop them up while the anthem plays? It’s an intriguing thought experiment.
Steve Smith is a Middle-Aged Dirtbag, Baby
This is a great quote that stands on its own but I also wanted to make that bad joke reference. Thanks.
I Don’t Know What to Believe Anymore
Now that Cris Carter is gone from ESPN, he’s let the truth be known about "C’Mon Man," one of the WWL’s signature football segments, especially that it’s bad. So all those years screaming over football bloopers that the Internet had already made fun of was just posturing? Thanks, Cris. I thought you put your heart and soul into screaming at those bumbling players. Now I know everything is a put-on. I bet you didn’t even care about players getting a fall guy for their crimes. This is the worst day of my life.
Red Zone Bathroom Pass
NFL watchability ratings are generally pointless. Everyone has access to the same prime time games and their quality typically corresponds to the night they’re broadcast. Sunday night is the best, Monday night is next, then there’s Thursday night.
Instead, here’s my expectation of how many bathroom breaks you might be able to get away with during a slate of games on Sunday. It’s generally going to be more difficult during the early slate because the NFL still insists on frontloading most of their Sunday nights into the early slot.
Early slate: Arizona at Buffalo / Minnesota at Carolina / Denver at Cincinnati / Detroit at Green Bay / Baltimore at Jacksonville / Cleveland at Miami / Washington at New York Giants / Oakland at Tennessee
Expected bathroom breaks: Zero! An Odell Beckham-Josh Norman fight could break out at any moment and if you miss a single swing, I will unspeakably disappointed in you. Also, watching Sam Bradford without the benefit of Adrian Peterson should be fun.
Late slate: San Francisco at Seattle / Los Angeles at Tampa Bay / San Diego at Indianapolis / New York Jets at Kansas City / Pittsburgh at Philadelphia
Expected bathroom breaks: Three. You’ll need one just to recover from holding it during the early slate. But don’t go too crazy; there are five games on the slate and you won’t want to miss a second of that enthralling Rams-Bucs tilt.
More must-reads: