One song for every Eagles opponent in 2023
Still basking in the glow of their top-selling Christmas album, the Philadelphia Eagles offensive linemen went back to the studio for an unspecified project. We’d like to suggest a collection of modern classics, with each song dedicated to a 2023 opponent.
New England Patriots: "Down with the King" by Run-DMC
Once considered a modern day Lombardi, head coach Bill Belicick’s record is considerably worse without Tom Brady. Since 2020, the Patriots are just a .500 team.
Minnesota Vikings: "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel
Five years, $155,028,856 and no playoff wins with Kirk Cousins.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "Love the One You’re With" by Stephen Stills
If you can’t be with the greatest quarterback in NFL history, sign Baker Mayfield to a one-year, $8.5 million deal.
Washington Commanders: "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang
Washington went 164-220-2 under Dan Snyder, but tier fans will have 6.05 billion reasons to celebrate once Josh Harris officially owns the team.
Los Angeles Rams: "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith
The Rams suffered a record number of injuries last year. It got so bad, head coach Sean McVay nearly retired. But the coach is back and if the team stays healthy, they’ll challenge for the division.
New York Jets: "Hush" by Deep Purple
Aaron Rodgers talked his way out of Green Bay, but please Aaron, no more talk about mushrooms, colonics and long weekends locked in dark rooms.
Miami Dolphins: "Thank You" by Sly & The Family Stone
Had Miami not tampered with Tom Brady, Miami would have had the 21st pick in the draft. Without a Dolphins’ pick, 11 teams moved up one draft spot. The Eagles used theirs on Nolan Smith, a player Miami could’ve used.
Dallas Cowboys: "I Missed Again" by Phil Collins
This one goes out to Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott, who led the league with 15 interceptions even though he missed five games.
Kansas City Chiefs: "You Really Got A Hold On Me" by Smokey Robinson
Dedicated to head referee of Super Bowl LVII, Carl Cheffers.
Buffalo Bills: "What Have You Done For Me Lately" by Janet Jackson
Another year, another Bills’ disappointment. Four straight playoff losses are starting to wear thin on fans that still remember losing four straight Super Bowls.
San Francisco 49ers: "Loser" by Beck
You’d never know listening to Deebo Samuel and 90% of Niners fans, but San Francisco actually lost last year’s NFC Championship game. Maybe this time they’ll bring more quarterbacks.
Seattle Seahawks: Any Pearl Jam song
It’s Seattle.
New York Giants: "Daniel" by Elton John
New York gave Daniel Jones four-years and $160 million to be their franchise quarterback. It’s all about him now.
Arizona Cardinals: "Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac
New head coach Jonathan Gannon lied about conversations with Arizona while working for Philadelphia. The Cardinals were found guilty of tampering and had to reach a settlement that cost them 33 spots in the third round of the draft.
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