Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Unless you’re over 100 years old, you can’t possibly have seen all of the NFL greats play (not that Cris Collinsworth was necessarily one of those) or know all the scandals and hot goss around the league. That’s why you have football historians like me. 

It’s not as though Collinsworth doesn’t say unintelligent things on a weekly basis, but he is hardly the only one in the broadcast booth. At least he doesn’t repeatedly accuse QBs of wearing skirts (I’m looking at you, Troy Aikman).

Once upon a time, however, Cris Collinsworth had the market on saying the most asinine things when it came to the ladies in the NFL. He had plenty of others, but these were the most alarming. It’s remarkable that he has a career where all he does is talk.

Cris Collinsworth and the Ladies

A lot of Cris Collinsworth banger quotes involve women (and girls) when he was a young wide receiver in the NFL. Which is not an excuse; he was still a grown man, but it does show he has the ability to avoid a lawsuit with age.

Here are his three most infamous quotes about women (and girls) that make you want to get your pepper spray out:

  1. High school girls love me. Fourteen to eighteen, I’m a big star with them.
  2. I like girls that aren’t too bright because you can trick ’em a little bit.
  3. I’m not gonna deny it, I walk around with hundred dollar bills hanging out of my pocket.

Unpacking Those Cringy Quotes

The 1980s were a different time. A time more amenable to making sexist comments.

But at what time is saying teenage girls love you a flex when you’re a grown man? It really makes it surprising that the only orange we’ve seen Cris Collinsworth in is his Cincinnati Bengals uniform. 

Saying you want women who aren’t the “brightest” so you can “trick” them is predatory at best. If someone had that quote without any context, it could be linked to Ted Bundy as easily as it could be to Cris. 

Also, if Cris Collinsworth had social media in the 1980s, he would be the guy who took selfies fanning out dollar bills to look cool. It’s probably the least alarming of all three quotes, so we can just leave it there.

A last “female”-related quote for the road:

“I get free meals in Cincinnati restaurants, girls scream when I just walk into a room.”

One, I think Cris Collinsworth means girls literally. Secondly, Cris, are they reaching for their pepper spray while they’re screaming, or no?

For articles on people you don’t need to hide your wife and kids from, look here.

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