TailGreater: Dos and don'ts for your Super Bowl party
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. That's it. Those are the only days standing between you and the holy grail of sports holidays.
Although it's a bit of a misnomer to call all of the Super Bowl parties at bars, homes and apartments around the country tailgates in earnest, there really isn't that much that separates them from that time-honored tradition. Personally, I'd argue that Super Bowl parties are the platonic ideal of tailgate culture – it strips out all of the non-essentials like freezing cold weather, expensive parking spaces, and, well, an actual tailgate itself in order to create a pure celebration of food, drink and football.
Well, except for those people that are just showing up to watch the commercials. But we don't need to talk about them.
In order to help get your Super Bowl LI experience as close as you can to that perfect, pure experience, we've compiled this list of dos and don'ts to guide you as you navigate through these last three days before the big game.
Do: Go to the gym early on Sunday
Just trust me on this one. Regardless of whether you're hosting your own party, going to a friend's house, or simply going to a bar, you're going to be eating a lot of heavy food, and drinking a lot of alcohol. Of course, going to the gym will help ease your guilt about all that, but that's not the main benefit here. Getting active before the game will help get your adrenaline up and release endorphins in your body, which will, in turn, mitigate that awful bloated, tired, and lethargic post-Super Bowl feeling.
Don't: Eat a full lunch
This goes along with that last point. Most Super Bowl parties start at three or four o'clock on the East Coast, and even earlier as you head west. Have a snack or something for lunch, because you're going to be eating for pretty much the entirety of the game. Eating a full lunch before a Super Bowl party is like filling up on bread before the meal comes at a fancy French restaurant. Save room for the main event.
Do: Coordinate
If you're hosting a party, make a spreadsheet. I know. I know. Spreadsheets are boring, and you deal with enough of them at work. But they really are indispensable for any sort of potluck event so that you can keep track of who is bringing what to the party. Personally, I label the columns for types of foods and drinks (chips/dip, main course, sweets, ALCOHOL) so that when people sign up and mark what they're bringing, they can see where areas of need are. This prevents parties from having, say, five different kinds of white chicken chili, but no queso dip.
Don't: Buy fancy beer
Trust me. Nobody cares. If you want to pick up a sixer of your favorite craft beer for yourself and some very close friends, more power to you, but drinking a basic domestic light beer is an integral part of the Super Bowl party ritual. Nobody's going to mind if that's all you have.
Do: Explore your options
If you're not hosting your own party, and nobody you know (or like) is hosting one, take a walk around the block. Most bars have Super Bowl food and drink packages, sure, but if you check the dive bars around town as well, you may be surprised at how many of them are having potluck-style Super Bowl parties where you can eat for free so long as you bring something along. Nothing against those $35 buffets, but there are other options out there if you're flying solo for the Super Bowl.
Don't: Order pizza
This is probably the #1 mistake people make when hosting Super Bowl parties. They invite 20 people over, make a single pot of chili, and then assume that they'll be able to just order pizza on Sunday to complete the meal. It never works. Ever. Super Bowl Sunday is one of the busiest days of the year for pizza delivery (and food delivery in general), so if you're ordering pizza during the game, you're guaranteed to have to wait hours for your pie (assuming they haven't run out in the first place). If you really, really need pizza (or delivery food in general), call your favorite restaurant right now and attempt to schedule delivery for Sunday. If they won't let you do that, you really are better off just buying a bunch of decent frozen pizzas from the supermarket before the game and then baking them yourself.
Do: Consider other delivery services
Okay, I know I just said not to bother with delivery, but that's just for food. There are tons of other delivery services out there that can help you avert catastrophe during your Super Bowl party if you run out of something (or have forgotten it in the first place). If you run out of alcohol during the party, Drizly is a service that will restock your bar for you, assuming you live in one of its service cities – which funnily enough, do not include Atlanta or Boston at this time. Amazon Prime subscribers should also consider using Prime Now during their party to get general essentials delivered as well, though if you're not a Prime member, Google offers a very similar service through Google Express. It beats running out to the convenience store during a commercial and missing that the one that goes viral.
Don't: Work during the game
This is the big one. No matter what else you take away from this list, once the game kicks off, your work should be done – especially if you're hosting a party. Plop yourself on the couch, and only get up to get more chili, refill your drink, or use the bathroom. You've done more than enough. Enjoy the game. Your guests can take care of themselves.
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