Something's awfully rotten in Big Apple: Knicks, Jets, Giants and Mets stink

NEW YORK GIANTS 

By Chris Mueller

WHY THEY SUCK: There’s the obvious, for starters. The Giants went 5-11 last season, and only a 4-1 stretch in November and December saved them from being worse. Odell Beckham Jr. had a down year, missed the last four games with a quad injury and was traded. Other than Saquon Barkley, there wasn’t anything to fear on offense. Eli Manning’s 92.4 passer rating was actually a tick below league average, which was 92.9. The eye test wasn’t kind either — Manning looked like a guy on his way out.

But wait, there’s less! That 5-11 mark earned the Giants the sixth pick in the draft, and they used it on Duke quarterback Daniel Jones. New York also owned the 17^th and 30^th picks in the first round, and most experts believed that they could have had Jones at 17. Pro Football Focus didn’t have a glowing review of Jones, and its opinion of him was far from an outlier in the scouting community. The Jones pick gets even funnier when you consider what GM Dave Gettleman said before the 2018 draft, his first with the team.

Meanwhile, training camp has already started disastrously. Wideout Corey Coleman suffered a torn ACL on Day 1. He's done for 2019. Wide receiver Sterling Shepard fractured his thumb the same day. That would be bad enough for the team that traded Beckham despite Gettleman claiming it would do no such thing. Things got worse, though, when Golden Tate was suspended for four games, apparently because of a fertility treatment. If you’re scoring at home, the Giants have few healthy receivers. But hey, it’s not like they’re trying to get the most out of their aging quarterback’s final year or have a rookie build a rapport with guys he’s supposed to throw to.

THEATER OF THE ABSURD: New York sports fans are known for being tough on athletes — even ones they like. Jones hasn’t exactly been embraced by locals. That was never more on display than June 17 when Jones was shown on the video board at Yankee Stadium and given a Bronx cheer.

SHOULD YOU FEEL BAD FOR THEIR FANS? Under no circumstances. If you’re reading this as a resident of a smaller U.S. city, one whose teams don’t get nonstop coverage and attention, whose exploits are shoved to the back burner when anything, anything at all happens to a New York team, bask in the misery of Giants fans. The world does not, in fact, revolve around them, or their mediocre team.

REASONS FOR HOPE: Barkley is the real deal. He looks like the league’s next great running back and is the kind of do-it-all threat offensive coordinators dream about. DT Dexter Lawrence and CB Deandre Baker are intriguing first-round picks, and if the Giants hit on both, they’ll be cornerstones.

Eight of the Giants' 11 losses last season were by a touchdown or less, and per Elias Sports Bureau, they were the first team in league history to lose each of their final two games by a single point. Flip a handful of those close defeats to wins, and the G-Men go from 5-11 and near the top of the draft to 9-7 and a possible playoff team.

PREDICTED 2019 RECORD: 5-11. Manning won't be good, partly on account of having no one to throw the ball to, and defenses will key on Barkley. The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

PREDICTED TURNAROUND YEAR: 2026, or 3 A.G. (After Gettleman): When Jones flames out as successor to Manning, the Giants will send Gettleman packing, and it will take his successor at least a few seasons to clean up the mess.

Rotten in the Big Apple rating (5 is worst): 4 

NEW YORK METS 

By Justin Mears

WHY THEY SUCK: New York City has always been a baseball-crazed town. But while the Yankees consistently operate like a sound, intelligent organization capable of sustained success, their neighbors in Queens have been the crazy uncle no one wants over for dinner.

Ask any Mets fan what the team's biggest issue is and you'll get the same answer: ownership. Since Fred Wilpon bought out his partner, Nelson Doubleday, in 2002 to assume full ownership of the franchise, save for a few sporadic spurts, the Mets have never been able to function at the level a big-market team in the media capital of the world should. Most of the blame is heaped upon Fred's son, Jeff, who won't let the club's front-office personnel do their jobs without hovering over everything like a parent following a toddler around the playground.

THEATER OF THE ABSURD: The 2019 season has brought new levels of embarrassment for the Amazins'. Manager Mickey Callaway has too often said things counter to what the higher-ups state, causing fans and media alike to wonder how key employees within an organization can so consistently struggle to be on the same page. After weeks of hearing rumors his job was in danger, Callaway blew up at Newsday reporter Tim Healey following a game at Wrigley Field in June, a situation that escalated when pitcher Jason Vargas threatened to knock Healey the f*** out, bro. Yikes.

AND ANOTHER BAD MOVE: This past winter, when the Mets were searching for a new general manager, they had essentially narrowed the field to two, agent Brodie Van Wagenen and Rays' executive Chaim Bloom. The organization went for the flashier pick, luring Van Wagenen to the other side of the negotiating table. That now looks like a mistake. Van Wagenen made a splashy trade early in his tenure, sending two blue-chip prospects to Seattle for an aging Robinson Cano and closer Edwin Diaz. Both have struggled immensely, and the deal threatens to set the team back even further.

REASONS FOR HOPE: Slugging first baseman Pete Alonso (34 HRs through Thursday) will easily set the franchise record for home runs in a season, barring an insane dry spell. Play-everywhere Jeff McNeil (.331) could win the NL batting title. Throw in outfielder Michael Conforto and shortstop Amed Rosario, and the Mets clearly have a strong young offensive core.

On the bump New York is fortunate to have one of the best pitchers in the sport, Jacob deGrom, anchoring its rotation. He got help with the team's addition of Marcus Stroman at the trade deadline. Oh, they also have Noah Syndergaard, who's decent — insert smiley emoji here — and clearly gives the Mets one of the better 1-3's in MLB. And hey, the Mets are 53-55, only 11 games back in the NL East.

PREDICTED 2019 RECORD: 80-82. The Mets are good enough to convince themselves they don’t have catastrophic problems but not good enough to actually get over the hump.

PREDICTED TURNAROUND YEAR: 2020 ... or else. With the way they’ve gutted their farm system, they could be staring at a half-dozen years of irrelevance in the mid-2020s.

Rotten in the Big Apple rating (5 is worst): 3.5 

NEW YORK JETS

By Sam Robinson

WHY THEY SUCK: The only team to lose at least 11 games in each of the past three seasons, the Jets have a new coach and general manager in Adam Gase and Joe Douglas, respectively. They took an unusual route to this setup. Acting owner Christopher Johnson fired Todd Bowles in December but let Mike Maccagnan (24-40 as Jets general manager) spend $200 million-plus this offseason. Then the embarrassing power struggle — between four-month co-workers Maccagnan and Gase — thrust the Jets back into an unwanted news cycles.

Gase did not appear to want running back Le’Veon Bell, at least not at the price Maccagnan paid, and watched the embattled GM pay linebacker C.J. Mosley like he was 2003 Ray Lewis. Maccagnan’s previous big expenditures — Darrelle Revis 2.0, Muhammad Wilkerson and Trumaine Johnson — either bombed or created immediate buyer’s remorse. Even with Bell and Mosley, the Jets depth chart has issues.

Maccagnan’s latest spending spree left the Jets’ offensive line – Football Outsiders' worst in 2018 adjusted line yards – returning three starters. (That number was four until Thursday, when the Jets lured longtime Panthers starter Ryan Kalil, 34, out of retirement.) The Jets, 19th or worse in scoring offense and defense in six of the past seven seasons, also have cornerback questions and will enter another season without a proven edge-rushing presence.  

While Maccagnan’s tenure would look better if Sam Darnold pans out, his other notable quarterback pick (Christian Hackenberg, the only first- or second-round passer not to play an NFL down since 1970) should still spook Jets fans on this front. Gase did not emerge from this saga looking good either, and he assumed plenty of power for a coach who went 23-25 in Miami. The Jets are on better footing than they were exiting 2018, but they have a long way to go.

THEATER OF THE ABSURD: The Gase-Maccagnan back-channel duel didn’t leave us without comedy. New York’s new coach was so upset about being left out of the predraft process that he reportedly moved his chair away from camera view in the Jets’ war room. Gase contributed next to no input on this year’s selections. This very-2019 chapter went oddly overlooked.

JETS' MONEY NOY ALWAYS TALKING: The Jets submitted the highest free-agent bids for Kirk Cousins (in 2018) and Anthony Barr (2019). Both used the struggling franchise as leverage in Vikings negotiations. Despite Gang Green's offers ($30M per year for Cousins; $15M annually for Barr), they took less money to play in a smaller market.

REASONS FOR HOPE: Darnold and Douglas. The QB-GM combo looks as competent as anything the Jets have featured since perhaps Bill Parcells-Vinny Testaverde. Douglas developed as an executive in two model front offices, Ozzie Newsome's Ravens and Howie Roseman’s Eagles, and Darnold (30th in 2018 QBR) at least has better weaponry this year. Bell and slot receiver Jamison Crowder make what was a bottom-tier corps less awful.

PREDICTED 2019 RECORD: 6-10. The issues the Jets will have up front, and in defending aerial attacks, offset the gains they made (at less important positions) and will make snapping their double-digit loss streak difficult. 

PREDICTED TURNAROUND YEAR: 2020. If the Jets are not at least a fringe contender by then, after a Douglas draft/free agency and with Darnold still on a rookie contract, it means they again bet on the wrong quarterback.

Rotten in the Big Apple rating (5 is worst): 3 

NEW YORK KNICKS

By Sean Keane

WHY THEY SUCK:  The New York Knicks play in the always-packed Madison Square Garden, and Forbes called them the most valuable franchise in the NBA. Yet they haven’t been in the playoffs since 2013. In the past 20 years, they’ve won one playoff series. They’ve been under .500 for 16 of the past 18 years, and they’ve now been left in the shadow of a superteam in a neighboring borough: the Brooklyn Nets.

The Knicks spent over a decade trading draft picks for washed-up stars like Jalen Rose and Steve Francis or never-stars like Andrea Bargnani. After they finally drafted a bona fide franchise player in Kristaps Porzingis, they traded him during his fourth season to dump contracts. Then they used their cap space to sign four free agents who all play power forward, the same position as last year’s lottery pick, Kevin Knox. They’re planning to have cap space in 2021, so desirable free agents can shun them once again.

Meanwhile, the team constantly feuds with reporters and its own fans. Superfan Spike Lee won an Oscar and complained that the Knicks weren't tanking. The Knicks have two 2017 lottery picks in Frank Ntilikina and Dennis Smith, Jr., and neither one can shoot. Smith can’t even put the ball in the basket in the dunk contest.  

THEATER OF THE ABSURD: Owner James Dolan is a constant parade of oddness, particularly when it comes to his blues band, JD & The Straight Shot. Last year they released a song about Dolan’s friendship with Harvey Weinstein titled, “I Should Have Known.” (Warning: The song is terrible.) This year, stockholders sued Dolan for devoting too much time to the band. But the weirdest Dolan story is his interference with the Clippers’ arena in Inglewood, which included lawsuits, million-dollar political donations and, somehow, the Kardashian family.

SIMPLY POINT-LESS: One baffling thing about the Knicks is their inability to find a point guard, a problem since Derek Harper left in 1996. The most exciting thing to happen to the Knicks recently was Linsanity, a five-week hot streak in 2012 galvanized by young point guard Jeremy Lin. The Knicks let him walk that summer. Jason Kidd played there one year and retired to become a coach. They got half of a good season from Raymond Felton, traded him and re-signed him when he was 20 pounds heavier and soon to be booked on felony gun charges. They made a blockbuster trade for Stephon Marbury, and within two years he was “the most reviled athlete in New York.” Even retired point guards suck when they join the Knicks, as evidenced by Isiah Thomas’ disastrous tenure as team president, which included an $11 million sexual harassment settlement.

REASONS FOR HOPE: No. 3  pick R.J. Barrett has a chance to be the Knicks' first home-grown superstar since, well, Porzingis. Mitchell Robinson had an impressive rookie season in which he blocked a shot every eight minutes (and committed a foul every six minutes) and acquired an amazing nickname, “The Block Ness Monster.” The 19-year-old Kevin Knox still has star potential. 

While this summer’s activity was disappointing and puzzling, all the contracts, however ill-advised, only run for two seasons. The Knicks have all their own first-round picks and two extra ones from Dallas. If they were owned by anyone else, you could plausibly argue they’re in decent shape long term. 

PREDICTED 2019 RECORD: 28-54. Barrett will shoot them out of a bunch of games, but with all those misses and their half-dozen power forwards, the Knicks’ rebounding numbers will look great. They’ll disappoint their gambling fans again by just missing the over, a child will boo the owner and be led away in handcuffs, and the Knicks still won’t win the lottery.

PREDICTED TURNAROUND YEAR: 2023-24. That's when LeBron James finally does join the Knicks to play with his son Bronny.  The Knicks finally win another playoff series, and then in the offseason, they trade them both for the draft rights to Stephon Marbury Jr.

Rotten in the Big Apple rating (5 is worst): 5