The five best names in college football for 2023
Forget Caleb Williams and Drake Maye, these guys should be the biggest names in college football. Have a look at the most unexpected (and wonderful) names college football has to offer in 2023.
Rowdy Beers | TE, Florida International University
Beers is a 6-foot-4, 225-pound tight end/defensive end from Valor Christian High School in Littleton, Colorado. As a tight end, Beers had 16 receptions for 191 yards and three touchdowns over the last two seasons. On defense, he had 5.5 sacks and three defended passes.
This will be Beers' first year as an FIU Panther, but with a name like that, expect Eagles and Bills fans to follow his career closely.
Major Burns | DB, LSU
Unlike Beers, Burns is already familiar with his LSU fan base. The 6-foot-2, 190-pound safety has 10 starts in 14 games for the Tigers with 62 tackles and an interception. According to NFL Mock Draft Database, Burns projects as a fifth-round pick in the 2024 NFL Draft.
But could he go higher with a different last name? A defensive back named “Burns” might not sit well with some NFL general managers. Imagine drafting a running back named “fumbles” or a quarterback named “interception.” As long as his parents don’t mind, a name change might not hurt the young man.
Pig Cage | LB, The University of Texas at San Antonio
The Louisiana native transferred from LSU to UTSA as a sophomore in 2021, but did he really choose the right team? Cage had 17 tackles for the Roadrunners last season, but wouldn’t he be more at home in Arkansas?
How can someone named “Pig Cage” not play for the Razorbacks? Did Arkansas even know Pig was on the market? Somebody get coach Pittman on the phone.
Kool-Aid McKinstry | DB, Alabama
McKinstry joined Alabama as a five-star recruit out of Pinson Valley High School in 2021. In 2022, he was named All-SEC First Team as a defensive back and earned All-SEC honors as a return specialist.
The colorful cornerback had 29 solo tackles and an interception for the Crimson Tide last year but does he thirst for more in 2023? Oh yeah. McKinstry should have no problem adding to his stats as a junior and can expect to be a top-10 pick in next year’s draft, according to NFL Network’s Ian Cummings.
Dude Person | DB, The University of Central Arkansas
Looking for someone to play free safety? We have just the guy. His real name is Rontavious, but “Dude” works for us. He spent last season with Northwest Mississippi Community College where he had 90 tackles and a pair of interceptions.
After announcing his commitment to Central Arkansas, Person immediately received an offer from Dude Wipes, a full-body flushable wipes company. This year he’ll look to be “the man” for the UCA Bears.
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