The barren wasteland of available NFL quarterbacks

Catastrophic preseason injuries are a matter of course for the NFL. Each team goes through August hoping that Sword of Damocles doesn't fall on it.

This year, it happens to be the Minnesota Vikings, darlings of the punditry as a favorite to advance deep in the playoffs for the first time since Brett Favre helped get them to the 2009 NFC Championship Game.

Now, it appears, those hopes have been dashed with Teddy Bridgewater tearing an ACL and dislocating his left knee in a non-contact practice injury that will cost him the entire 2016 season. While the Vikings have a squad talented enough to still be respectable, they're not quite as loaded as last year's Broncos, a team so good on one side of the ball that it won a championship despite getting next to nothing from the quarterback position.

Seeing as that the season hasn't even started, the Vikes can't quite pack it in and wait for the future to get here and try again. Minnesota has to put in an honest effort with... Shaun Hill? Sixteen games of that doesn't sound very enticing, until you take a gander at what else is out there in the quarterback market.

Among the flotsam:

Zach Mettenberger

Waived on Tuesday by the Chargers, Mettenberger is probably a better fit for an NFC team, where it's less likely he'll continue to be tormented forever by J.J. Watt for that time he took a selfie.

Michael Vick

The Steelers won two of the three games Ron Mexico started in 2015, though in fairness he was yanked midway through one of those victories. The dying embers of Vick's career might make for interesting drama, especially when it means Marcus Vick tweeting about the rest of your roster, though it likely won't translate to many wins.

Tarvaris Jackson

The Vikings are certainly familiar with the guy since he started 20 games with the organization over the course of five seasons. The most recent, however, was six years ago, and Jackson was recently charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon for pulling a gun on his wife. So, yeah.

Josh Freeman

As with Jackson, this would be a retread for Minnesota, but hell, that was several teams ago. Franchises really seem to like to give Freeman a shot to recapture the magic of the two pretty good seasons he had five years ago. And he is still only 28.

Mark Sanchez

The NFL is just a brighter place when Mark Sanchez has the opportunity to spin failure into art. If anything, now that the Vikings' chances are jeopardized, the rest of the league should just mandate that Minny takes him if only to goose ratings for another potential Buttfumble.

Rex Grossman

As the only Super Bowl quarterback on this list, the Sex Cannon certainly has a pedigree the others cannot match. He hasn't played in a game since 2011 with Washington despite spending time with two teams since, which is sort of impressive in and of itself.

Matt Flynn

With all this talk of Colin Kaepernick and white privilege, Matt Flynn getting another paycheck for doing nothing is just what the doctor ordered.

Charlie Whitehurst

You don't bring Clipboard Jesus in to actually see action, though it couldn't hurt to have his benevolent presence around to whisper beatitudes in Shaun Hill's ear post-interception.

Austin Davis

He's spent his entire pro career being a forgettable backup on awful teams. High time he gets upgraded to inadequate starter for a middling team.

Jimmy Clausen

The proclaimed "most pro-ready quarterback" of the 2010 NFL Draft is 1-13 over his pro career. Quarterback wins and losses might be an imperfect stat for true evaluation, but in terms of mocking Clausen, it works mighty well.

T.J. Yates

Frankly, it's best he not get the job if only to maintain the fact that one of his five career victories is a playoff win.

Johnny Manziel

OK, now this is just getting dark.