Every Teen Choice Awards host

Yes, the first person to ever officially host the Teen Choice Awards was…David Spade? Well, he’s friends with Adam Sandler, but his heyday was in the ‘90s when he was on “Saturday Night Live” and starring alongside Chris Farley in buddy comedies. He was pushing 40 by the time he got this gig. It’s not so much his age that’s puzzling, though, as much as it is that it feels like Spade had exited the zeitgeist by 2003.

Solo hosts at the Teen Choice Awards have been rare, but this duo hosting feels like a real blast from the past. Remember when people cared about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie? Hilton rose to fame for, um, reasons, and then Richie joined the fray as the two headed off into the blooming world of reality TV. They had their own catchphrase in “that’s hot.” To Richie’s credit, she’s actually become a decent comedic actress, as seen in the short-lived sitcom “Great News.”

Maybe teenagers just love Adam Sandler’s friends? First it was Spade, and now it’s Schneider. Maybe teens loved “The Animal?” Duff feels like the perfect choice for a show like this, though. She rose to fame starring on a TV show that appealed to kids in “Lizzie McGuire,” and the tweens who had grown up watching it were the target audience for the Teen Choice Awards in 2005.

This is another time capsule hosting choice. Cook, for a time, was the biggest standup in the world. Standups tend to be good picks for hosting, as it’s not that different of a gig from what they are used to. Simpson was still a big pop star at the time and had done some acting as well. In fact, Cook and Simpson were co-stars in the film “Employee of the Month,” which fittingly came out in 2006.

Duff’s first stint as host must have gone well because they invited her back to host only two years later. This time, apparently all of Sandler’s friends were busy, as she got Cannon for a co-host. However, this is a much more sensible choice, not only because of his age but also because Cannon has, in the ensuing years, done a ton of hosting. It seems to be his most marketable skill.

Yes, Miley Cyrus has been famous enough for long enough to host the Teen Choice Awards in 2008. This was still the days of “Hannah Montana,” when Cyrus was a huge star among young people — but basically only young people. She also was one of only two musical performers at this year’s show, alongside Mariah Carey.

Everything old is new again, as the Jonas Brothers have recently began their comeback. A decade ago, though, they were still basically kids making music, sort of the evolution of the boy band. At least the Teen Choice Awards knew they were getting hosts with chemistry. Kevin, Nick, and Joe had plenty of experience working together. Also, they grew up together.

No, former Celtics legend Kevin McHale was not a co-host at the 2010 Teen Choice Awards. If he had been, Larry Bird would have been there as well. You know Perry, who was one of the biggest pop stars on the planet for a while and then feuded with Taylor Swift before burying the hatchet. If the other four names aren’t familiar, they were all stars on “Glee,” which was briefly a hugely popular show best known for giving Jane Lynch a whole new audience.

After having five hosts the year prior, the Teen Choice Awards really pared it down by going with only one. Cuoco was still in the early days of the run of “Big Bang Theory,” but it was already a huge hit, albeit, on CBS, the network largely thought of as watched only by old people who love “NCIS.” “The Big Bang Theory” had a slightly younger audience, though, although it ran for long enough that people who started watching it as teenagers were well into adulthood by the time it ended.

Do you think the other three “Glee” actors felt stiffed that McHale got to host a second time and they didn’t? Or had they all moved on and only McHale was willing to take the gig? Also, wouldn’t it have been fun if it was the Hall of Fame basketball player? Although, he was busy coaching the Houston Rockets at the time. Lovato was emerging as a pop star and had just finished a run on her own Disney Channel show “Sonny with a Chance.”

Criss is another guy with “Glee” connections, but he’s got a lot going for him on the acting front. In addition to Broadway success, he recently won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for his chilling work in “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story.” Hale was one of the stars of “Pretty Little Liars,” which certainly was right in the Teen Choice Awards’ demographic.

Remember that MTV show “Teen Wolf?” You know, it was like the ridiculous Michael J. Fox movie “Teen Wolf,” only the TV version inexplicably took the idea seriously and seemed more interested in the main actor’s abs than having any fun? Well Posey was the Teen Wolf, and he didn’t even play basketball! Sarah Hyland was one of the kids on “Modern Family,” a show that is somehow still on the air after seemingly a million seasons.

The year 2015 was a big one for Rodriguez. In addition to co-hosting this show, she won a Golden Globe for “Jane the Virgin” that year. (That show has just come to a close.) Ludacris made his name as a rap star, but the teens of this era probably knew him best as one of the guys in the “Fast and Furious” movies. Peck was the titular Josh of the Nick show “Drake & Josh,” but as that show began airing a decade prior to 2015, it feels like he might not resonate with a teenage audience. Or maybe he did. You’d have to ask somebody who was a teenager in 2015.

Cena rose to fame as a pro wrestler, but like The Rock, he’s made the leap to acting. While he hasn’t had a Dwayne Johnson-level career yet, he’s getting there. He also seems always game to try and expand his horizons to legitimize his career, as he’s hosted both the Teen Choice Awards and the Kids’ Choice Awards. Victoria Justice sounds like the name of the main character in a CBS procedural about a judge, but in actuality she was a Nickelodeon star in the 2000s, including starring in the show “Victorious.”

Remember, YouTube star and general irritant Logan Paul introduced the 2017 event, but the show had no official host. It got back into the hosting game in 2018 and brought along old pro Cannon to shoulder the load. Pons is an internet star who was the most followed person on Vine when the app was shut down. She actually won “Choice Viner” in 2015, which was apparently an award it was giving out for a time.

This year, Hale is back hosting. “Pretty Little Liars” ended in 2017, but she’s starring in the upcoming show “Katy Keene,” a CW show apparently tied to the “Riverdale” universe. That’ll probably bode well for her. Dobrik is another internet person. Kids love the internet, and there is nothing we can do about it.