The best fictional films from real films

“Matinee” is Joe Dante’s love letter to the old horror movies of the ‘50s and ‘60s, specifically the gimmicky kind that William Castle would make. The film centers on the premier of his new schlock film “Mant!,” which is about, well, a monstrous man-ant. Complete with Rumble-Rama, of course.

We’d like to talk to you about “Angels With Filthy Souls,” the gangster movie from “Home Alone” that figures into the plot when Kevin uses it to scare Marv. However, we’ve been told we need to get our ugly, yellow, no-good keister off somebody’s property before they pump our guts full of lead.

“Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood” is full of fake movies. We’re only going to include a couple of them. “The 14 Fists of McCluskey” seems like an insane action film. However, it involves quite the flamethrower scene, and that flamethrower proves particularly important.

Rick Dalton didn’t want to go to Italy to make Spaghetti Western and other films. Eventually, he relents. While “Operation Dyn-O-Mite” isn’t a Western, one look at Dalton in that car on the poster makes us really want to see it.

The alien invasion film “Chubby Rain” from “Bowfinger” is quite impressive. After all, director Bobby Bowfinger is able to make the movie by filming action star Kit Ramsey without Kit knowing that he’s in a movie, while also convincing his twin Jiff Ramsey to step in for other scenes.

Of all the films made by Karl Hungus, “Logjammin’” is probably the best of the bunch. The Dude and Maude Lebowski watch a bit of it in “The Big Lebowski,” but we don’t get to see the entire film. That means we miss out on the denouement when, of course, Karl fixes the cable.

“Scream” is sort of a meta horror movie in and of itself, in that it comments on the tropes of horror films. Things get even more meta in “Scream 2,” because the events of “Scream” are being fictionalized within the world of the film. In the “Scream 2” world, the movies are called “Stab.” There are plenty of “Stab” sequels as well.

“Simple Jack” seems problematic, and “The Fatties” doesn’t seem terribly funny. However, “Tropic Thunder” looks promising. It’s quite the war film, in part because of the way it was filmed. Well, before the director exploded himself at least.

“The Dueling Cavalier” could have been promising. Alas, silent movies were on the way out in “Singin’ in the Rain.” Fortunately, everybody is able to adapt and think on their feet. “The Dueling Cavalier” becomes a musical called “The Dancing Cavalier.” Hey, when you have Gene Kelly (or the character Gene Kelly is playing in the movie, at least) why wouldn’t you want to highlight the dancing?

Here’s how effective “The Three Amigos” is as a film. A woman in a small Mexican village sees it, believes it to be a documentary, and asks the men who portrayed the characters to come to the village to protect them. Of course, Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms, and Ned Nederlander aren’t as adept as the characters they played.

Sometimes, a movie coasts on charm. That’s certainly the case for “The Mutants of 2051 A.D.” Bob and Doug McKenzie aren’t exactly the best filmmakers. Their film is a pretty cheap ripoff of “Mad Max 2.” And yet, it would probably make a great midnight movie. Of course, “Strange Brew” eventually becomes about what’s actually happening in the movie, and “The Mutants of 2051 A.D.” fades into the background. Ah well.

Which “UHF” movie would you prefer to see? “Conan the Librarian,” or “Gandhi II?” Personally, we lean toward the latter. Who doesn’t want to see an epic, violent action flick that’s a sequel to the Best Picture winning “Gandhi?” This time it’s going to be a real wild ride.

“Wait a second,” you might be saying, “Hamlet is a real movie. They’ve made it like a dozen times.” Ah, but we’re talking about a specific version of “Hamilet.” The one from “Last Action Hero.” The one starring “Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now you’re interested, right?

The Coen Brothers have given us a few fictional films, but “Hail, Caesar!” has a few of them, including the film-within-the-film that shares a title with the real movie. Sure, it’s yet-another tale of the Christ, but Baird Whitlock is quite the movie star, and he gives a rousing speech during the film.

Yeah, “Jaws IV: The Revenge” sucked. Maybe it wouldn’t get any better after 15 more sequels. That being said, “Jaws 19” from “Back to the Future II” is one we still want to see. That 3-D seems really impressive, especially for a movie set in 2015.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see “Home for Purim” come to fruition. When the small-budget drama at the center of Christopher Guest’s “For Your Consideration” starts to get awards buzz, it gets tweaked and become the more accessible “Home for Thanksgiving.” Even that movie gets one Oscar nomination. Still, the one we really want to see is “Home for Purim.”